TheFireWithin's Profile at Vampire Rave.

I do apologize for the background music, I hate embedded music myself, but I can't seem to make youtube videos autoplay here anymore, and so I feel like I had no other options but to embed a song. The song in question is titled "Pyros" and it's by Jurgen Kern Taliesin. I do hope it's not too horribly annoying for you.

"I like the stars. It's the illusion of permanence, I think. I mean, they're always flaring up and caving in and going out. But from here, I can pretend...I can pretend that things last. I can pretend that lives last longer than moments. Gods come, and gods go. Mortals flicker and flash and fade. Worlds don't last; and stars and galaxies are transient, fleeting things that twinkle like fireflies and vanish into cold and dust. But I can pretend..."

The above quote is taken from the graphic novel series, The Sandman by my all-time favorite author, Neil Gaiman. And, I believe it sums up my outlook fairly well. Life is fleeting, life is ephemeral, but I can pretend that things last longer than they do when I look up at the stars. The flickering lights in that vast darkness. They are ghosts, the light taking so long to actually reach our eyes, most of those stars are gone, collapsed back into the darkness. But, I can pretend. I can pretend that not everything here is ephemeral.

Let me start this off by saying I've been a member here for over seventeen years now. That's not to be seen as a virtual threat or to be taken as anything other than a simple fact. I do not use my time here as something to negatively impact members as a whole. It's the one website outside of Facebook that I have been a member of for such a length of time. It's one of the few websites that I actually visit daily. A whole decade, and more, of my life has been given to this one website. And, if that doesn't speak volumes to what kind of place this is, I honestly don't know what will.

Now, in my time here I've seen so many things change, so many people come and go, so many silly happenings. I've seen great people who were also members here have their lives come to an end, I've even seen multiple people claim to have their lives come to an end. I've seen drama. So much drama. Petty arguments about this or that. I've been involved in such drama, much to my regret. And I've been fortunate to come into contact with some of the most amazing people I've ever known. I've forged friendships that have gone beyond this site itself. VR was an addiction, I think many of the members have felt that way at some point in time, I suppose it still could be if I allowed it, but I do not.

I hold position, on my main account, as a Master Vampire, Master of Nocturnal Retribution, and of course, Procurator on this one. I've been a Coven Master multiple times, and now that I run one of the seven Houses, I've actually held every position one can hold in a Society here. I love this site, I really do. It's been a major part of my life for so long now, it's helped shape me into a somewhat better person. And that's not something you'd expect from a website, but seventeen years is a long time, and I did much of my growing up here. It's silly, I know, to start off a profile in such a fashion, but I simply want you to understand what this place means to me. Why I come back day after day, even just to log in, check messages, and log back out. The fact is, I still come back.

This profile used to be named something else. Well, actually, it's had a few names since it was given to me. Each name, each theme, showing my love for something silly, like a video game (Halo) or an entire country (South Korea). I figured now was the time to just be me. To bare myself to the world. The name, The Fire Within, is actually my Xbox gamertag. It's as real as it can possibly be when it comes to me. The Fire Within, the inner fire, it's passion. It's creativity. It's desire. It's life. I am a Leo, a pretty typical one at that, my element is fire, my ruling planet is the sun. So, fire is something that is pretty prevalent in my life. The inner fire, that desire, it's what keeps me going forward. I need to prove myself. I need to make my mark on this world. I need to burn.

A part of me wants to go the route I went with my main account, to simply tell you about myself. To tell you what I do for a living, where I live, what certain beliefs I adhere to, or what certain things mean to me as a person. But, that would be boring. People do that, create carbon copies of their profiles over and over again. I am not like those people, I can't allow myself to be content to copy what was written there to be plastered here as well. What's the point of that? If that was to be the plan I should just keep one profile and not even worry about having to write up a second, right? That's never been me. I need to show all aspects of myself on a profile, but I need to do it in a way that doesn't read like my other. So, I may struggle with this a bit, and for that I apologize.

Why did I pick my name, what meaning does it really have for me? Well, as I said, I'm a typical Leo. If you follow astrology, or know anything about the common traits of the zodiac signs, you'll know what that means. If not, common traits that describe Leos are:

Confident, Ambitious, Passionate, Creative, Generous, Loyal, Encouraging, Pretentious, Domineering, Melodramatic, Stubborn, Vain

Sure, astrology is pretty generic overall. Such words can be used to describe anyone, regardless of their zodiac sign. But, while I don't hold to a lot of things astrology goes into, I don't necessarily believe it, I do feel that the common traits of a Leo fit me fairly well. The fact the fire is my element, that the sun is my ruling planet, even though the sun isn't a planet, speaks to me on a certain level. Fire is wild, it can destroy, it can bring life. There's a beauty behind it, it's a force to be reckoned with. When you state inner fire, you're talking about a person's drive, their passions, what sets them on fire. I burn bright, or at least I try to. My flame has been diminished over the years, but I'm rekindling it.

My creativity is something that sets me ablaze. I love art. I love writing. I love creating digital works, I love traditional art like drawing and painting and photography. I love to sing. Granted, I haven't been the most creative person lately. My life was at a fairly low point for about two years, and that really kept me from doing anything even remotely creative. But, I've gotten back into the habit of writing again. And it's so therapeutic for me. I don't voice my opinions, my desires, my wants and needs, my beliefs, out loud. In writing, however, I am allowed to say what I wish. I can set my mind free and scrawl whatever I so desire. I like to think I'm decent at twisting words into something worth reading. People have always said such. Whether they were being truthful or simply feeding my ego doesn't really matter at this point. I'm going to write regardless of what people think of it. I'd love to get back into digital art as well. I just don't really have the ability to do so. I need my own computer and Photoshop. And while I have Photoshop, I do lack a computer. One day, though, I'll get back into it. It's something I love doing, so I won't stop forever.

All-in-all, this name is me. Probably more so than any name I've previously used on this site. This name means something to me. I may not have been the best at describing just what that meaning is, but that's the beauty of it, I suppose. It's personal to me, and to me alone. And while I may be able to give you a glimpse, I don't think I'll ever be able to truly articulate just what those three words mean to me. I tried, and maybe one day I'll give you all a better idea. But for now, I suppose this will have to suffice. The chances anyone actually reads my words is pretty slim anyway. That's just the way things are here. So, I'll leave you with this, simple as it is.

I am honored to be an Assistant House Master in House Eternal.

This profile is in the process of being updated, please bear with me.

Main profile image (c) "Fire.", by Kondratij at deviantART.
Profile background (c) "Stardust", by danich01 at deviantART.

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