Religion and Politics07:35 Feb 03 2021
Times Read: 536
(Here we go again,another journal entry,I hope those who read this will enjoy it,if not oh well) As a child I wasn't really religious,my grandpa and mom read me the bible so I knew who God and Jesus was as a kid but I didn't go to church as child, I was a hyper misbehaving kid but that was before anyone in my family found out I had ADHD and everything else wrong with me,I wasn't diagnosed with Depression, emotional disturbance disorder, and ADHD until 2004/2005. Don't get me wrong, there's nothing wrong with being religious, I believe in God and Jesus but I'm just not religious any more,I'm more spiritual than religious because of things I've seen and things I've been through personally. After I got older I didn't start going to church until 2005, I was 15 years old at the time and I was attending a small church in the small town of Palestine Texas, I would get a ride to church youth group meetings with a girl named Anna-Leea Reddoch and her then boyfriend Seth, and I'll be perfectly honest the only reason I went was because of Anna-Leea. Eventually I started enjoying going to the youth group gatherings and I started liking church, it also didn't hurt that I was attending church with in my opinion the most beautiful girl (now most beautiful woman) in the church if not the whole world. But alas my demons started rearing their heads, I lost my grandparents in a house fire in 2003 and I was hurting real bad from their deaths, I was smoking marijuana and snorting cocaine and drinking unholy amounts of alcohol. I was also hanging out with some very dangerous and very unsavory people at the same time that I was attending church with Anna-Leea. I didn't want Anna-Leea to see me like that and I'm ashamed to say that there were a few times I went to church drugged up because at that time in my life I was lost,hurt,scared,and I didn't want to live anymore. But going to church kinda changed me at that point, I didn't quit drugs and alcohol until 2007 but at that time in 2005 because of going to church,Anna-Leea,and the birth of my eldest Nephew I tried but failed to quit drugs. One memory of going to church with Anna-Leea that still stands out in my mind is during the month of April in 2005 my Dad came up missing, no one knew where he was or where he went,later on I found out he was living in the woods near my aunt and uncle's house in New Caney Texas,but at the time I was upset and distraught about my dad being missing and I told Anna-Leea about it,during church me and her went up to the front of the church near the preachers podium,and we both nelt down and she began to pray for me and the safe return of my dad. And for the first time I felt the presence of God, it was strange but wonderful feeling and I remember that I started crying and Anna-Leea grabbed my hand while still praying and I remember turning and looking at her and at that moment my stupid fool heart said I'm in love. Long story short, I stopped going to church with Anna-Leea because I couldn't Kick my drug habit at the time and because over the few months of going to church with her seeing and talking with her at school and eating lunch with her at school, I started developing very strong feelings for Anna-Leea and I was a coward and too ashamed to tell her how I felt so I just quit going. In May of 2008 I Graduated from high school and moved to Florida with my dad,and that's when I found out my dad had become a church fanatic, we were living in a RV on the property of a man named Kenneth Brennan but everyone called him Bear because he was a 6'4 400 lbs Sioux Indian. Bear and my dad both were part of the prison ministry group for Christian international church in Santa Rosa Beach Florida and they would go into the prisons and Minister to the inmates. One rule of living on Bear's property was that you had to attend church no exception, so I had church forced on me and crammed down my throat by Bear and my dad. Don't get me wrong, in a way I loved going to Christian International and it was one the best churches I've ever attended besides the one I went to with Anna-Leea, but you can't force religion on someone, after I left Florida and made my way back to Palestine Texas I completely stopped going to church and because of things I've seen and been through and with the deaths of my Uncle Jimmy and my 14 year old Nephew Kennard I realized I was never a Christian and I have to many faults and problems with God,I believe in God and Jesus but that's as far as my faith goes I've even chased the Jehovah's witness and the Mormons out of my neighborhood. Now on to politics: I voted for Donald Trump when he first ran for President, even though he's a bully and a bigot but everyone that voted for him already knew what he was but we voted on him to get shit done and he did, he got more stuff done in office than President Obama did. Then 2020 hit and the Covid 19 virus popped up out of nowhere. I told my mom and stepdad a few months before the election that I had a feeling Trump was going to lose because of him running his mouth too much. I voted early for Trump during his re-election campaign but alas he lost and I wasn't happy he lost but I'm not going to throw a fit because of it,I'm no longer a Republican, I'm now an independent voter, all I can do now is sit back an watch the shit hit the fan during Joe Biden's Presidency.
COMMENTS
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BloodRoseX
05:35 Feb 26 2021
Teenage life definitely sets a path in life. It brings out the best and worst in us, tbh.
Just hang in there! *hugz*