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It is really sad when a man is defined by his penis. Fucking penis.

So, a bastard of a man called the asylum on me. Just when things were getting interesting.

Bloody hell.

My life is fucked for good.

I never did understand people who fear examinations/assessments/assignments. They just hate being tested. I, on the other hand, live to be tested. I thrive in adversity, and besides, it is the only time I can show-off without having a drive-by happening to me.

Man, people are strange. Never could fathom them...

Save me, somebody.

They are butchering me. But I'd rather die a long and suffering death than be one of them.

Recent events in my life have proven to me that the entire Malay/Muslim race is evil. They are a race of dangerous people and not to be trusted. They enjoy freeloading and are as fake as they come. They are a timebomb waiting to explode and cause maximum damage.

Shit never changes.

Well, guess what? The Cards, today, were adamant on giving me the Hermit card yet again. Oh well... I ain't really complaining here - truth be told, I totally get it.

I haven't left my room all that much. Bought some fairy lights, and a really cool LED light script word that says "love" up on my room walls. I have been burning a whole shitload of rose and lavender incense and sitting in the darkness with just battery-operated lights.

I have been thinking. If you know me, you'd prolly know, too, that I am a spiritual nutcase. I just can't seem to leave my make-shift altar, where I am pretty much at, the whole day and night. It has been really comforting... this darkness. Yes, my parents are convinced that I am a devil-worshipper, worshipping Satan in my room, under the very same roof as them.

Man, it's hilarious. I ain't no devil-worshipper... neither am I evil... the world has too much of that going on already.

I come in peace.

Witches are misunderstood people, really.

I am looking to put up in a rental room somewhere. Yes, my family have officially kicked me out. Damn, I hate being out of my comfort zone - it messes with my inner balance. I constantly need to pray; just not in the conventional sense.

Got a place to view tomorrow morning. I just hope this does not become too much of a hassle.

Wish me luck!

XD

I hate it when the know-it-alls start leaving me their opinions. Do you even know what the Horror genre is like? I like my horror with a pinch of fun and cheesiness. Some of you so-called sophisticated folks of society, who, only after seeing one or two horror movies and then proclaim to be horror fans... please, don't make me laugh.

I have been working on my Everyday Witch Tarot card-reading craft... and it keeps giving me the Hermit card. I have always known that I was not a clairvoyant, as I (as far as my memory takes me) never had clairvoyant experiences. However, the occurrences in my life most recently, have led me to realise that I am both a clairsentient and a claircognizant.

I just happen to know. It is too much synchronicity for me to handle, and I believe I am becoming overwhelmed by these revelations. It is as though everything I have ever done and learnt in my youth are falling into place and order in my adult life, thus allowing me to be at-one-ment with the Universe.

I don't know where all this is taking me, and I am absolutely terrified of and for myself.

All that remains are my faith, spirituality, education, and my cards.

Yes, it is me raging against the world.

God save the Queen. Amen.

There is something very Ancient and Dark in my very being....

You know you are of celebrity calibre/status when everything you do appears to be a showing off to the masses.

Pathetic a-holes. Thank you for making me famous.

COMMENTS

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BloodRoseTristesseX
06:09 Apr 17 2021

I just farted. I think it has gone viral by now.

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OccultRanger
10:07 Apr 17 2021

You let a demon out of the microcosmic abyss huh? Were you the only one to suffer it's sulphurous odor or did your malevolence have to share it with another? You seem to be one that likes to share. ;)

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STOP CALLING ME.

Death and I are like close buddies. After 4 suicide attempts, I am compelled to believe in an afterlife. So, yeah, I lost my Vampire tarot deck, shortly after my last suicide attempt, which left me in the hospital for like, a couple of weeks. All my occult stuff have vanished into thin air. It sucks, as I have developed close bonds and a sense of attachment to my one and only vampire tarot deck. As a result, I have been relying on the free online tarot readings. I have also been working on some Craft skills lately, too...and man, must I say it has been a nice change from the mundane.

I was yearning for a witchy tarot deck... so much so that I was inspired by Images's Cartomancer's account, and I visited her journal and saw that she had the Everyday Witch tarot.

Guess what I did?

Yes, I bought it online, and it was delivered just last night, but I only received it just a while ago. This deck is a nice change... it is light, playful, easy on the senses, nothing too jarring, and into 10 minutes of receiving the deck, I already feel connected to it!

I have been obsessed with American witches and their witchery. Been devouring YouTube videos, and discovered that I really jive with the American (Salem) witch archetype. I may not know where this would lead me, but I intend on having some witchy fun!

The American Witch. Man, it is beautiful... ugly, and dangerous at the same time...

Thanks, Images for your journal!

I am sick and tired of stupid people using me. Men use my body to boost their egos. Friends use me to teach them English and tips on how to be cool. Family uses me for my naivety.

Then, when I am bereft of strength and energy and money, no one gives a damn.

Pay me, you bitches.

I have nothing to give anymore to any of you idiots. Stop buggering me.

I want to ruin someone else's life so badly.

NOT EVEN A WORM SHALL APPEAR IN YOUR WOMB.

YOU PEOPLE ARE FOOLS. MY KIND WOULD HAVE WELCOMED YOU WITH OPEN ARMS AND HEARTS. YOUR WITCHCRAFT CALLS TO ME. SO, WHY DO I GET TREATED LIKE SCUM?

STITCH UP YOUR LOOSE AND SMELLY VAGINA.

PRUDES WITH SHRIVELLED PUSSIES.
YOU REALLY LOVE MY LEFTOVERS, DON'T YOU, BIATCH?

Today marks a special day in my life. It is my very first Hekate's Deipnon, this morning, at 1030hrs. I did not leave any offering for her as I still feel incomplete without my Hekate statue. My conservative family went berserk when I confessed that I had a placed an order for my Hekate manifested. This is my mother's house... and I am struggling financially right now - more than I wish to admit, tbh. So yeah, I practically am living on a crossroad of some sort, so I am just doing everything indoors. No offerings, as I have stated, but prayers, yes. It is all in my head. My family already thinks I am worshipping the Devil as it is... and I know I have no rights in this house, so I'm just praying to get out of this financial gutter that I often find myself in.

So yeah, all you Hekatean witches out there:

Happy Deipnon.

Merry meet and merry part, and merry meet again.

Blessed be, y'all.

I can't even right now. I feel like dying, tbh. I have so many different clothes in my cupboard... and yet, I just can't muster enough energy to bother about my looks. I have piled on the kilos like no one's business, which have rendered me ill-fitting for my clothes. I miss my dressing up as an amateur goth. Dammit, lord, I used to fit into all these clothes.

Fuck.

I guess death is a slow process...

Save me, somebody.

I absolutely cannot wait for my Hekate to arrive. Creating my own sacred space has been something that has long been brewing in my soul and inner rebel. I just need to get some fresh garlic and pomegranate to set up a full-blown altar.

Omg. The anticipation is killing me.

I realised there was some cash in my bank account, so I got excited, and spent them all on online orders.

Ugh. Be still, my heart.

I placed an order for a absolutely dark-looking Hekate statue from Luciferian Apotheca. It did not miss me that the items on sale there are pretty expensive... and this is my very first online order from LA. I just hope I get the whole statue in one piece.

Is that too much to ask for?

I have been working on my Craft skills lately, as I am seriously drawn to this feminine aspect of my inner daimon. Found an amazing altar cloth from Etsy, so I placed an order. Oh yeah, and some fairy lights and stuff for room decor. I think I am getting too girly for my age. I swear, my room is going to look like a cliche very soon.

My masculine aspect is gritty, tough, and filled with pain. I share this with my Father, Lucifer, whilst, my feminine aspect is hard, dark, and unpredictable - just like Hekate. With Lucifer I had been working with primarily symbols and sigils.

However, with Hekate, I was driven my an inner lunacy to go find a tangible form of her... thus, the statue.

Mostly working on the aesthetics of my bedroom, and my sacred feminine.

I wonder where this lunacy is going to take me... but one thing I know for sure : it is going to be one helluva ride!

Woot.

Good lord, I hope to never turn into one of them!

Why do they have make things so... personal?

Look, I am super glad that we are still strangers to each other.

Please keep safe distancing, thank you.

I actually kinda look up to most of you here... please do not lose your self-respect, thank you.

I perceive groupthink as a form of Evil. I am a fierce individual with an equally fierce individuality. Ever since I registered as a member of this website, my life has been nothing short of terror. The people call me names and they threaten me to keep silent. I have no fucking idea what is wrong with the majority of the people. It is as though they know everything about me, but I don't know a single effing thing about them... or anyone, for that matter. Damn if I do; damn if I don't. I am stuck here, against my will. Crap, it is like I had grown up here. I am an internet junkie. I think I need therapy. I just feel happy appearing online, even though no one really talks to me. I am not complaining. No harsh feelings towards anyone. It is the do-gooders who are causing such a havoc in my life. They do this thinking that they are preventing a bigger Evil, but I tell ya, it is THEM who are causing me misery.

I do not need a support group for being engaged in social media, and I do consider this site as a smaller group of close-knitted individuals; never mind that I am an outsider. I will always be an outsider... that, I have come to realise, and accept. No worries on that one. Really, I am not as butt-hurt as most of you may think.

I am a self-contented loner. I am the happiest, by myself, pursuing my interests - whatever they might be. Right now, I have taken up bullet journaling as my latest creative interest. I also have a Polaroid camera - though, I am a far shot of a photographer - and I absolutely adore instant photos! They are fun and quirky, and I don't require validation, authenticity, reason, nor explanation. So, yeah, screw all of you.

Lol! It is beyond my comprehension... this groupthink. Whatever happened to Bloody Feather? Here I am, stuck in Cancer's weird and sorely outdated cyber realm... having lost its essence and vitality.

Just where are the King and Queen, then?

Oh well.

I'll stop rambling.

It is really dawning on me that I could be up against big-E Evil. Been at it for 12 years now... and it has made me become a VVitch. I am terrified of procreating... just what would emerge from my body? I mean, yeah... everything is a big IF right now.

I think I am losing this war.

I have returned to the Dark Mother after a pretty long spell of surrounding myself with everything masculine. I guess it is time for me to explore the sacred femininity of my true self. Lucifer is my heavenly Father, as I abide by theistic luciferianism. Hekate is my sacred feminine. If you haven't already guessed, I tend to reveal my soul in my journal posts, which rightfully ought to be set as private and confidential. But, I don't get private and confidential. I am too creative for that. Released a spell using my menstrual blood, hoping to find true, unconditional, and sensual love. Yeah, I am PMS'ing right now... thus the moodiness. Masterofmadness, please unblock me.

Masterofmadness, how can you throw it all away? You and I go way back... for slightly over than a decade. You may not reciprocate the same feeling towards me, but it brings me great comfort and safety to see you appear online. I am sorry if I had hurt you, and your friends... but I just cannot throw away what precious moments we had shared between us.

I miss you, babe. My kismet is here to stay....

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BloodRoseTristesseX
17:08 Apr 01 2021

Remember those days? I would get up at 5am, just to share a few words with you. The memories are killing me slowly...

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