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I’m tired Mind, body and soul. Not good company today. Probably won’t be on because of Tabitha. I have his picture I could make some interesting posts but I’m dead inside and it’s against the rules to flame other members. So going back to my coffin.
A switch flipped inside me a little while ago.
I guess even someone like me has a breaking point. I used to play before like I didn’t care. Now it’s not playing. There is a calm quietness now. I feel nothing for you.
Some people will just go crazy hard over the stupidest shit. They will be so blinded by their vengeance that they miss things, important things. You don’t think they don’t know when something is a lie? Even demons have morals. Just make sure you can banish what you conjure would hate to see it turn on you.
It’s been some years ago now that I graduated from High School. Though most of us are adults some of you don’t act like it. Not sure how you act in real life when you’re not behind a computer screen but I’m just tired of the games at this point.
I come here to have fun, joke around, post memes and pictures, write in my journal, share creepy music. I don’t want to waste my time fighting and dealing with drama. Now I can’t tell anyone what to do. I will and am limiting my engagement with certain people. I don’t really talk to that many people here. I’m tired of the he said she said BS. I made my fair share of mistakes. Not all the shit he making up just to get revenge on me. He is a very vindictive and petty person. I’m just not going to deal with all the seriousness. I come here to blow off steam to have connection with others. I’m not going to deal with sexual advances from anyone. You will get blocked. If you’re mad at me over some stupid shit man just move on life is too short. I’m tired. Too tired to fight with you. I really am.
I may talk about what happened between us every now and then but that is because I heal by writing. I’m done like done done. I have only ever cut a few people from my life. I am a pretty forgiving person and it takes a lot of something to make me say fuck this. I even think that’s changing if I see a red flag I’m out. You treat me poorly you loss access to me. You really went far this time brain washing V to believe it was him who “attacked whoever’s honor” Boy he does not care about you and neither do I. Move on and be happy with your new girlfriend because I don’t want you back. Whoever called you names and dishonored you wasn’t me or anyone I know. They acted alone. If I wanted to call you something you would know because I would say it to your face. Must be some other enemy you made. I am done with you. Bye
It has come to my attention through my tarot cards that there is a group of people that have formed recently that doesn’t like me. My deck informed me that ya all suck and I don’t need questionable people like you in my life anyway. You all just finding each other so the trash can be taken out together.
I am certain they have portals and channels open to activity “spy” on me.
22:24 Apr 14 2026 Times Read: 436
I ordered 12 mm plugs to stretch my ears up. Not sure my ears are ready I only stretched them in Feb. after a whole year break but at least I’ll have them. I’d like to make it to my goal size by the time the world decides to go poof.
Sleep again was elusive. I think I may have slept two hours all together all last night. There’s a reason for that of course that I won’t mention. No not because of the events that happened at my job.
You know I try not to let the things that people say about me bother me too much it’s an ongoing issue with certain individuals who will remain nameless.
I mean when you’re around someone who perpetually says negative things about you it’s hard to not let it have an effect on your self esteem. The problem was that what I said was true. They say they want accountability from me but accountability is being responsible for my reaction to the situation. My reaction was reactive to the abusive situation I was put in. I will not be accountable for my reaction in that situation. I feel my outrage was appropriate for the disrespect I faced. No what you really want is for me to take the blame for how you treated me when you didn’t get what you wanted from me. When you couldn’t control or manipulate me anymore that made you angry. I won’t take the blame or fault for that.
All those horrible things you say about me are your own projections of yourself.
Knowing that I shouldn’t take it so personal but it’s crossing a line which you just love doing perpetually.
You wanted those reactions out of me so you could say oh, see look how crazy and abusive she is to me! You push and push and push until you get the reaction you want. You threaten, intimidate and embarrass to isolate. You act like more people are on your side than what is actually true to make it even more isolating. You are an abuser. I feel sorry if she is actually a real person because she has no clue what you are truly capable of.
I dealt with you on the drugs and drink I saw the ugliest side of you. It wasn’t just the drugs though. I thought if he could just get off the drugs maybe he would be different. Nope I can’t be sure if you were actually clean and sober. I think you probably weren’t. You lied to me. Let’s not fool yourself I know too much about you but what I say is true but it’s always the abusers words again the victims. I’m not “playing” the victim. I AM the victim.
Can I get an honest answer from men here? What would be a reason for a male employer to be closely hovering behind you? Like just about damn near breathing down your neck.
Thank you. I handled it but still continuing to watch my surroundings.
13:07 Apr 13 2026 Times Read: 580
Work today have to deal with the neanderthal.
I wonder if he’ll say anything to me about refusing to come in on my day off. I didn’t sleep not one wink last night all I did was toss and turn all night long. Super restless. On a plus side I noticed last night that my ab routine is starting to bring definition to my stomach area. Haven’t been tracking my weight as much these days because now it’s more about muscle gain than “losing weight” I’m doing everything else that I know I should be doing so just waiting for results to show. It’s been a year and a month since I started this whole process.
I found that song just scrolling through YouTube.
Doing a bulk ferment of sourdough bread.
Doing my home cardio and weight lifting routine because people.
Planting seedlings because it’s nice outside.
Probably won’t be around much this weekend. Saturday is gym day.
I work part time now and I don’t have time for any BS. If I bitch it’s about my dumbass boss. Not seeing that this will last trying to find something better at the moment but I like the longer hours every other day with weekends off so there’s that.
There, on the hill
When the east wind's still
I swear I see a figure in the glass
And pa, with a frown
"Beware the edge of town
Your brothers tried to burn him
In the past"
Oh I ain't precious
I've seen blood before
Sacred rivers down thighs
On my floor
Oh I ain't delicate
Seen him before
Sacred water down thighs
To my floor
There, in the yard
If I lay down my guard
I swear I hear a poem
In the dark
And ma, with a cry
"My darling angel why
Do not let them see you
With this mark!"
Oh I ain't precious
I've seen blood before
Sacred rivers down thighs
On my floor
Oh I ain't delicate
Seen him before
Sacred water down thighs
To my floor
Blutsauger
Ich fühl mich endlich sauber
Blutsauger
Ich fühl mich endlich sauber
Blutsauger
Ich fühl mich endlich sauber
Blutsauger
Ich fühl mich endlich sauber
Blutsauger
Ich fühl mich endlich sauber
Blutsauger
Ich fühl mich endlich sauber
Blutsauger
Ich fühl mich endlich sauber
Blutsauger
Ich fühl mich endlich sauber
Oh I ain't precious
I've seen blood before
Sacred rivers down thighs
On my floor
Oh I ain't delicate
Seen him before
Sacred water down thighs
To my floor
The crows have returned from their partial migration. I wonder if they will pick the same tall pine this year? I only saw one but their murder is quite large. I have learned to love their antics. They love being mischievous and naughty. First time I ever encountered them was when I was hanging laundry on my wash line and was bombed with small sticks from the tree tops. Those antic still occur.
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