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There are a couple of things i would like to say before i get into this entry

yes i have deleted past entries
i am starting a new to document my thoughts and feelings

i will be checking my messages seldom.

as of right now i am not focusing on old messages so i apologize if anything important has been lost.

i do not care about rates, bites, stalks, what have you but i will indeed return the favor if asked but dont expect anything right away.

yes i am still interested in having friends and creating bonds



Entry #1 Date: August 23rd 2020 Time: 4:37pm

the smell of bleach fills the air of my mothers home. the living room at which i have claimed as my own for the time being freshly tidied up (slightly) to please my OCD gods. this is the first day in a while that i have spent all but a few moments inside.
if we are being completely honest as much as i needed the rest and relaxation i couldnt stop myself from cleaning just to do something. keep my mind occupied.

See, my mind runs a million miles an hour. multiple trains going opposite directions at lightning fast speeds just barely missing eachother.

its very rare that i find anything that can truly calm my storms and bring those trains to a halt. but lately going out and exploring parks, abandoned places, cemeteries... really have kept the noise down.

ive been wanting to find more people i can explore with and with the up coming season change im excited to possibly get some neat pictures.

ive been asking around if there are any good places maybe a few hours outside of the city that i can go explore im just waiting until i have someone to come with.

since ive been more active ive felt physically better. ive lost a bit of weight so i getting some of my confidence back.

im sticking to positives for this first entry

because i know its not going to last haha