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The local paper publishes the letters to Santa that the elementary school kids write. While there are many very funny letters, this one really made me laugh:



Dear Santa Claus,

I need a new x-box 360 and I want my own wii for christmas. I love Christmas. I wish I had a pet named Rex. On Christmas and recess every day I whis I had a sweat shirt. and a pet wolf and my new house. and my bunkbed. and a cat. I want a lego battle Ship.

Your Good Friend Eli



Retyped with all errors intact.

COMMENTS

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Joli
01:01 Feb 11 2008

Post something new!!! I need my RDA of Rhysling. Look at that date....shaaaaaame. December? Get your ass in here and entertain me!

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The road conditions are not as bad as the radio had reported. Actually, the roads are quite good and dry this morning. It is still early enough that there is no traffic, so it should be an easy ride into work today.



I had stopped at the convenience store and purchased a donut and coffee. Pulling back onto the county road, I head west towards the state highway.



The coffee is too hot to drink, but the donut is exactly what one expects it to be ... a cholesterol check wrapped in chocolate frosting.



I glance in the mirror to see a car quickly approaching. The car closes the distance between us, and is impatiently waiting for an opportunity to get around me.



I am not a slow driver, but apparently this person is in a very big hurry. Too bad for them, it will be difficult to pass on this winding two lane road. Hopefully they will settle in and relax for a few minutes.



Not this guy. This car occupies the full extent of my rear view mirror for the next several miles. They make a few attempts to get around me, but each time are pushed back by on-coming cars.



With the morning sun glaring from behind I cannot see the driver. Regardless of who it is, this little Ford Escort is beginning to irritate me. Much more of this and I may decide to entertain myself by not allowing them to pass.



In another mile the road widens to four lanes. That would allow the Escort plenty of room to speed along its way. I, however, have made other plans. For whatever warped reason I had in this early morning hour, I decided to keep that annoying Escort behind me.



As the extra lane approached, I accelerated, and I felt very smug doing so.



My plans were smashed when I realized that the Escort was not going to be denied. It had pulled into the left lane and was already on my rear fender. Adding insult, I could now see that this was an old, rusty car, with missing wheel covers.



This is a competitive moment when all rational is lost. My shoulders tightened, my fingers sunk into the steering wheel, and my foot stomped down ... but it was all lost. I could hear the Escort's engine screeching as it passed me and immediately pulled into my lane.



As the Escort rattled and sputtered past, I glanced over to see who had beaten me. This crushing defeat was made worse, much worse, as I saw the driver of this wreck. With both hands grasping the top of the wheel, body pulled forward until her nose was nearly pressed to the horn, I saw her. A short, blue haired woman, older than the continental shelf, with large horn-rimmed glasses and a snarl on her face.

Would it be okay if I sneak away for a few moments? Will everything be alright if I do? To relax, let my guard down and my mind rest. Time obligated for others stolen and given to myself. A vacation within a day.



I do not ask the world to pause, to stop and wait for my selfishness. I will watch from a corner as the world spins on along its hectic course.



Perhaps I should ask someone to join me for quiet, unhurried conversation. What would our hideaway be? An anonymous table at a café for beignets and coffee. Or maybe a corner booth in a jazz bar. A pair of lounge chairs on a beach, or a pair of seats on a subway train. Maybe my friend would suggest a spot, she does have a wonderful capacity for description.