We would of gotten to the hotdogs anyways, or to the point of fart, in this relationship..
Oh hell no, did he just say that?
Im gonna nap and smoke all day.. yep yep
& today we wake up with psytrance.
The rare kind i enjoy, that is.
ugh. Have awhole lot to do and so very little motivation.
You're your own slave when you are on your own.
Doesnt fit me.
You really got nothing better to do?
Online drama? oh my
And i thought MY life were boring.
/No, im not part of it and dont intend to.. grow up people. :)
Aw but drama is so 2018... lol
Yah i know you tend to be abit bitchy my puerto prut but even you dont stoob that low ;)
as if we dont got enough real life drama to attend to -_-
But you and i.
we never learned how to do this.
feel all the right things show opposite.
Ill honor you below me, Bow.
Only for i cant give you my love
Without your submission.
Do one thing mean otherwise
only to see the others reaction
to afraid to give one self up and be true
thats what we do.
May there be someone
Willing to open this backage.
Look at one thing at a time
try to understand it
Thought you wanted the package
without looking at its content.
Having it, tored open
for you to have a look
and yet not see a thing.
Oh what wonders you missed
And messes you created.
I want to.
walk up behind you, wrap my arms around you
as i press you into me, and i bite at your neck.
I want to, make you mine.
but i hold it all in,
all while i hear you say
Shaq, youre staring, whats on your mind?
Indigo, starseed, earth angel reincarnated
Extraterrestrial, serpent/reptilian/dragon hybrid
Human Psychic, medium, clairvoyant, witch
Sweet child got many names
I'm not sure if starseed child can be linked to reptilian. But again, I could be wrong. But I know the definition of other kin.
There is so many species was just to mention some.
of the most ''known'' :)
I want to study them well. Keep posting
Inside any tragic cause of damaged person. wHom turned out to be abusive, or destruktive, towards others or one self.
Is a wounded person just trying to protect themselves for the chance that, someone might wound them again.
that they might show their fragility and someone would crush it.
Those who did not mean to become so.. that is.
Im going to do something i rarely do..
I am going to admit to be such person.
I started out young, i have not had 1 relationship.
where ive not been abusive.
Another reason i refuse to this day
to be with anyone..
I went through abuse as young, kidnapping and rape
not sure if it was just me becoming damaged
or the cause of that?
I never really sat down and went trhough with what have happened to me in my life.
always stayed strong and moved on.
First now i realise ofcourse you cant go trhough life like that and not have effects of it.
cant turn it all away.
I dont talk about this really cus, i dont know. ive always been taboo on the subject, when it comes to myself.
Ive been biting people and having their blood since the age of 16. its not something i ''practise'' as said, im actully not fond of it.
i try not to, i dont actively participate in such evens.
they sorta mostly happends in lack of control when people come close.
Since i was a child i have been odd and different.
I did not feel things like other people. i never cryed, and always went my own way.
i understood things that a toddler or young kid normally do not.
and tho i did not feel much, when i did i felt it, alot.
lust, passion, desire, rage.
I was pretty much left to my own. but i remember stuff that creeps me to the core.
I remember the spirit on the stairs, how it creeped up behind one at the last steps.
I remember standing on the top floor of the house looking out the window, about to jump
i remember biting my lip to see the blood and just watch it dry, till at last i had formed a little pool on the plate
i remember how id sleepwalk downstars, go get a cola, then lay myself down under the table,
then knock my head up the table and walk back up in my bed.
continuious dreams of blackness, and bubbles of different sizes came out of my hands.
How i went into the closet, just to sit in complete darkness..
this was all between the age of 4-9, and only a few things.
as i grew up. it all became.. much, much, worse..
was mach du mein schatz?
was sach du mein schatz?
wir sollen essen!
Gesundheit, when you sneeze.
4 things my mother always said in german.
Jag pratar svenska men jag kan inte skriva det
Jeg er dansker
what i know of.
My dog snore like a man.
Imma go for the kitty next time.
Forever printed on my skin
How far id be willing to go for you.
Yet too scared to give in.
I feel too ugly, i feel too bad
When it comes to you every inch of my confidence fall
So afraid of not being good enough
Its a relief when you leave.
But here i am
Cant get you outta my mind
Think i have a serious issue with electricity..
Also. My bathroom lamps always manage to stop working no matter where the fuck i live.
Not just the lightbulb no, the whole fucking thing..
Someone have hidden 2 bodyes in a shared basement area, like a basement with severel doors and rooms.
afterwards this person have been going to a zoo, or somekind of amusement park with animals.
this is the only info i remember.
I want you.
want you to want me.
to be mine.
spend time with you
stay strong with you
God this bad, ugly, dead energy or, lack of. inside me
So my sister over time keeps telling me about how i once apparently had just liftet up my shirt and flashed my boobs and she just will never forget it
Im like ya whats so weird bout that youre my sister but then we laugh
then she say i just saw these perfect round boobs and you just came about and flashed your boobs.
But its funny now cus we can laugh about it, i dont really have a memorie about it i was probably high.
still i dont get the biggie.. i get its weird to do but relax, its boobs.
I never forgot you psycho.
I really really hope you are a better place now.
Im so sorry i was not able to keep you.
I was so young..
i hope you went to a good home.
I miss you.
i hope you forgot about me.
Im gonna find the prince or princess to roam among my side.
King gone lost his crown, lost his mind, his kingdom.
Now we start from scratch.
Just me, and my joker.
I have a sister in another country that ive never met.
Ive always known about her tho.
Me and my young sister is basicly aunts to someone a little older than us.
i know her name, what she looks like etc due to facebook.
she looks like my dad.
i dont have the guts to contact her.
though my father never hid this from us.
He got her long before us
when working in sweeden.
he told that he had to go home back to denmark
and they did not want to follow.
or so her mother didnt.
i know that they have contactt again
and i love that..
I will wait 100 years
for one true kiss.
Growl, as you list closer, curious, we're a dangerous pair you and i.
If i called would you respond?
Or am i hopeless.
Come here im right here
None of them obey
they have forgotten the old ways
what is pure in each their own
perhaps its all for me
long for what is oh so familiar
fell only to turn dark
in this darkened world.
They are all around me.
they are watching
i hate it
i hate this ability
when the light goes out
i wanna shut it out
they are all around me
Can you imagine how lonely that must be?
ignorance is bliss
insight a gift.
Cus lucie is such a know it all . (eye)
`Finding anything exciting?
And of being so in love
but not letting it show
why dont they make it police bells and church sirens.
police bells church weeooo
They all look like you
why do they all look like you
I went to buy cigarettes and i was asked if i had turned 18 yet..
ok, ok, the person may be blind as they clearly did not see the massive face tattoo i have .
but but.. go me!!!
Ok i got the flu, my mother got the flu, my sister got the flu. we all got the fucking flu
My mother still gonna drag us fishing for 4 hours in the cold.
looking forward for some family time but this is, fååårk!!. only doing this cus its my mom
We all know theres more out there than most are aware of.
some of us has seen it some of us has yet to, some of us never will
whatever is among us is within us.
may it be dirt or cosmos.
human kind will always be destructive
aknowledge that amongst you all
or welcome the era youve all feared.
You know something has clicked when you find yourself or others just stare, at nothing, like they are elsewhere..
this can both be a stoner,wonder,philosophic,memorie. etc momentum. or the person has died a little inside. yep.
turned off, emptyed out, let go, given up.. whatever follows is usually not good things.
Demons do tend to hide behind a little faith
do not expose selves likely
some have light
some utter darkness
Most of all
not fond of you.
Light has fallen to its minion
Dark wont obey
Catastrophic in the cosmos of souls
May you awaken in time enough
walking among you
That i always forget to turn off the stove is another reason i dont belong in a kitchen.
Today is my moms twins funeral.
ibut my family is so messed up and fucked that my side of it cant attend it.
rather sick thinking about we were so close to her.
Makes me hate them more. they have no regard for my mother in this.
Something ill never forgive.
its her twin. you monsters.
bunch of selfish psychopaths.
ill forever be bitter.
I will never love you and how you treated me..
My words meant to cut you
To show me exacly how you feel
my actions meant to bend you
To make you show me exacly how you feel
Ill take you to the edge and
have you jump
only to grab you
and take the stunt.
Music awaken the chosens
music is their cries
Fly up above
follow the sound
as we become one.
fly up above.
follow the sound
When i dont wanna open the door to my downstairs complaining old lady drunken neightbour she starts calling through the door, you know the little opening in the door where you put letters in, .
I dont want to get all angry at an old lady but hell i just might.
fucking write a complaint i dont wanna hear about how you didnt get your fucking nap cus my dog barked or played ball ..
Fuck off. i can hear your grandkids yelling every fucking sunday morning
shut up. bitch.
Today it was a stroke i knew would happend before there was any indications .
i was left rather shocked. i stopped looking at the screen and looked to the side.
thought to myself.
ok im psychic, dont know how long i will be able to deny that..
but what the fuck is the point when there was only a few minutes before it happend. not that it is the case always. just made me wonder.
the first one you think of in the morning.
the one you think of at night.¨
thats whoever have your heart.
Who got yours?
As yall can clearly see on my profile i need a little help with the coding. i really forgot half since not using it for years..
do come forth.
I know how you feel about me.
i know when you think about me
when you miss me, tired of me. long for me.
I know when you look at me
though im not watching
i dont know how i feel about you
i dont know what i think of you
dont know if i miss you, tired of you or thirsty.
though i am not watching.
i see it all.
Shaqra lucie-helel sun torn.
Most of my family is half bred ego centered psychopaths.
That shit didnt start with me.
honnestly somethings just wrong with us.
A comedy about a psychopathic child that grows up to develoup borderline personality disorder..
this is gonna be fun..
They say im a psychopath.
i say i have alot of love to give to those that have alot of love to give to me.
Does it say 666 at my forehead? Lol
Naaah, its flowers right ;)
Mostnlikely it says, be.
Riddle you this
Riddle you that.
Miss me yet? lol
Im broken, come here
let me take in your essence
feed once again.
love, tears, flesh and blood
Ill hold you through all
come here, let me devour and use you
show me, your colours.
dont want you for nothing
Fun, money, respect and submission,
be eaten or be servant
i have no tolerance for your kind.
crown me high
Great sacrifices might bring fruit.
Youll never be alone
stand the tests. do not stray
Kneel, im here.
A love this size
Comes with a prize
Riddle you this
riddle you that
only wise human figure.
They're all just fine, they're all just good.
But, they're not you..
Its. Sickening sick to be sickening sick as a sickening sick sickie.
Humans, supposedly created of principles. oh, what a failure.
Bitch, am i lovely?
Do you want me?
Bow, come here,
whos my bitch?
Even my mentor asked me today if i concidered that a woman might be the right thing for me.
mh, might be. id say both genders have each their own pros and cons.
that id take someone who is good to me nomatter the gender.
then again my history with men is really, bad.
I know the best thing for me (and them)would be just to stay away from relationships.
but even monsters need a lil love.
Maybe a woman have the qualityes that would be healthy.
otherwise its a disaster waiting to happend.
either way, wont dare to be with anyone again
till someone comes along that handle this shit right :p
I saw a picture i will never forget. a decade ago.
It was a man, looking identical with someone in my family.
but it was not a man, and it hung at a strangers place.
it was a devil, or vampire, his piercing eyes and fanged smile intimidated me
He was real, and familiar.
id like to find out more about that painting. but i only remember the image.
and i was left, feeing the need of another human.
this was new.
is it hunger?
or realising how another person could belefit me?
or have i, remained humane.
Shaque you keep to forget your split, youre torn.
its all in your names.
riddle you this its not the first time
why do you keep denying this
you shut yourself down, you wither away
the powerr you posses possessed you.
Lucie go away lucie youre my damnation
youre everything thats wrong with me
a monster, a beast, liar, evil.
Lucie stay, lucie protect me, go away.
How about you shut up the both of you
both being deminished versions of yourselves
stop fighting youre all you have
Just crazy (:
Theres two of you, i love you both, both of me that is, both of you.
But we're fucked up fucked , fuck it fuck it forget.
why if for nothing, lessons learned or we just tell ourselves that.
lets be real.
drop the insecurity
we were meant to be.
My maker left me long before i woke.
Good call, im a nightmare of a daughter. ;)
(in theory) or whatever the fuck to call it.
If someone were bit by a vampire, almost drained, then raped. (exhange of fluids)
The vampire has chosen to keep the victim for awhile. and reveal his abilityes and age and personal likings as well as info onto this (victim)
And then let it go, The victims survives. a few years later this victim almost die but come back to life.
The one who the victim away would drink some recieved liquid themselves. some that the victim probably should have had. but couldnt get, as were allready out in the draining sun so the vampire couldnt bring it. point is the victim did not recievev the special drop.
yet before remembering (after failed attempt to compell to forget
Had tendancyes that were bred uin darkness
( still do)
one day it all came back to this victime.
what had happened, as a sick coincidence.
What would this victim now be?
Been feeding before remembered everything again
years before. anemia sicknesses
Tend to be ice cold (for real) on hands and feet
plus some cool abilityes.
was born different and from mystique
Im having trouple deciding with myself whether this wictim turn zombie or just got a few side effects.
Cant wait to this fucker cold weather is gone
I might be allergic to sun
but i take the nocturnal nights
why are we not build for our own fucking clima.
nah, perhaps its just me.
I tend not to like when people ask 'how are you. reminds me how i am.
then again, i could do with someone who cares.
but for what bother? im not here to chit chat.
i mean, ask or write something else.
Im sure you will recognise how i am either way lol
I got to let him go
I gotta let them go
gotta let them go
so whos is out there for me?'
starint to one side
then the other.
cus i found myself doing that
Something changed in me
life became all too real
and its not that i cant take it
frankly have no choice but to
its that im broken
i hide alot for that reason
cant seem to be able to express myself here
as i have people reading it that knows me.
i want to be honnest but its all too heavy and complicated.
i tryed to pin and point where i am at mentally and spiritually but
no one get it with the bits and pieces.
i dont know what to do, with everything.
but i must.
find a way to express it. if it means privacy then so be it.
id rather be, anonymous.
if 100 honnest in a world like this.
not going to be a writer with this face.
and rather not be more than that
wouldnt even want that.
just want money and have fun
So do i.
So do i my friend
the same ones you are spitting.
Measure my amount of love in my amount of worry.
went to sleep about 4.30.
woke up at 6, soaking wet sweaty from nightmares.
fell asleep and was woken at 8.
I dont know how to handle this shit
If i go to sleep its terror
is i stay awake its tragedy
pick a poison.
So i forget myslef.
turn off go cold.
She needs me.
This gets me through..
I will go through terror tragedy and solitary isolation.
For my cursed blood.
Their mine, i am theirs.
My aunt died today.. cant handle it. i knew this would happend
Shes unconscious now.
Spendt all night contacting my dead grandad and grandmom to come watch over her, be there for her and have her hand if needed.
Im afraid ill awaken my powers and have
darkness come back.
But ill do whatever to have my aunts spirit at rest.
Today i woke up completely bathed in sweat.
I look at the clock. 13.13 .. raise myself to sit.
and feel the teardrops from my eyes run down my face.
huh>? what happened? never have i cryed in my sleep.
a dream with nothing but you. i still dream. just terrors of you.
today, ill dissapear.
may they miss me.
I stand at the edge and look down.
It wont hurt, for long.
One step and it will all be over
The pain, memories, worries, suffering.
Shall i cowardly jump into peace
Or stand and fight for the sake of others.
No one knows.
How many times i stood at this bridge
About to end it all.
I walk back into my apartment.
Maybe tommorow ill have the courage to jump.
Creeps, creeps all over. I must be a fucking creep magnet. ugh
im ready to get the fuck away and start somewhere new.
Is it that bad? Honestly though I am a mover.......usually move every year sometimes more than that. It keeps me from getting bored ;-)
Yeah im stuck in a place with absolutely zero opportunityes for me.. gotta go..
then do it and have no regrets :-)
Toxic, rotten, half dead.
A little human within a demon whom were once an angel.
entwined, bitten, not shy
toxic, rotten, half dead.
A borderline bomb.
So confused by what is.
1,2,3,4 stay away
its best for the both of us
Fragile & ticking
you cannot handle me
Ill cut into you and pick you apart.
while itll destroy me.
''i am seeing 2 other girls right now''
My responce was gonna be, im not comftable hearing bout this, why the fuck you telling me this?'
instead i chose to wake the fuck up..
when you recieve info in your sleep youd rather not have.
Note to self.
Do blood and they will haunt you.
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