The Ultimate Vampire Resource and Directory

...I receive over 300 emails a day. Many of which get deleted... but a good percentage are actually needed business correspondence...



...I currently have over 6000 emails in my in box. It represents about 2 months of emails... sometimes they come in so fast I don't even have the time to adequately address them.



But really, I just need to dump the majority of them and say F*** it.

..yes, I love being contacted on a Friday afternoon for a job a week later and, based on sketchy details being asked to commit to doing the job.



Then being given the required paperwork over the weekend with limited communication, then told first thing Monday another contractor had already committed to it on Friday anyway...



...this is a great process you guys have. Keep it up. Wasting my time is a wonderful way to build a business relationship.

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Fale
18:36 Sep 20 2010

I've got a really awesome bizniz proposition for you!

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birra
18:44 Sep 20 2010

No, I don't want to make $14 the hard way. :p

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RedQueen
21:04 Sep 20 2010

*dies*

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...to the people who write and distribute rogue antivirus trojan applications...



...I'm sure you're brilliant and creative in your attempts to dupe people into sending you money while infecting their computers with malware and viruses... but, all in all, your value as a human is lower than the muck on the bottom of the tanks at the sewage treatment plant.



Put your knowlege and creativity to a positive use, or do us all a favor and go suck a tail pipe.



Thank you in advance for your compliance to this request.

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ChasingTheGhost
19:37 Sep 18 2010

I got one of those a while back... the kind that says your infected and then won't let you access your own programs until you buy their security... it was called antivir... I think. Luckily, there was a step by step tutorial on youtube to get rid of the little nasty.

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faeriemoon
04:56 Sep 20 2010

Just got the same one last week. Computer is back to factory settings...gah. All the important stuff made it over to the external hard drive but, what a pain in the ass.

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...as usual, the call wasn't as bad as I anticipated. The prospect I'm working with is generally upbeat about what we can offer and wants to work with us.



Unfortunately, I don't think his company will let him when it comes down to it.



And then I will go running to the streets screaming....



FEH.

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eMetiB226
19:05 Sep 10 2010

I'm sorry. I'm glad you got to poop though.

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birra
21:12 Sep 10 2010

It wasn't a very good one. I think the stress has me off kilter.

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eMetiB226
21:55 Sep 10 2010

drink more coffee chased with those damn nachos you guys made. it might help.

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HeartOfGlass
01:32 Sep 11 2010

Who took off their kilt??

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In less than 15 minutes I will have a phone call that is already stressing me to no end, will most likely cause me to have heart palpatations and may or may not send me running to the streets screaming...



...I better go poop, then get some coffee before it starts.

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PandorasBx
15:06 Sep 10 2010

Ewwwww poopage.

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Isis101
15:19 Sep 10 2010

Good luck.

Maybe you should bypass the coffee - have it later, as it may mess up the poop process if you drink it now.

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ladySnowStrixx
16:08 Sep 10 2010

hun, just take it easy stressing isn't gonna help and its not gonna solve anything take a few calming deep breaths and tell yourself i did my best and that all I can go . if its not good enough then thats there problem not mine.

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..one of those mornings. Spent an hour on my conference call... it wasn't good. It wasn't bad. It just... was what it was.



And of course, my phone rang no less than 8 times while I was on the call... otherwise I probably could have sat here all morning and not had a single call... that's the way it goes.



But now my stomach feels like someone just put a 2-ton... heavy thing*... on it.



*ode to Queensryche*



Looks like my weekend is going to be spent stressing and pouring over documentation to try and prove our worth...



...and eating a lot of antacids...

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sahahria
17:26 Sep 03 2010

Raw Almonds can help with indigestion and not mess up you pH ;)

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...just finished writing and sending one of the most nerve wracking emails, ever.



My hands are literally shaking.



Literally.



I need to go some nacho toppings...

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Fale
22:12 Sep 02 2010

You should lick Pai when he gets home

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ThothLestat
23:11 Sep 02 2010

Dear Dr. Igho.... It has come to my attention that you are NOT, in fact, a Nigerian prince. You do not have $15 Million US dollars that you need re-routed through commercial banks. You're probably not even a doctor. Please stop emailing me. You jerk.



- Birra

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Nightgame
00:16 Sep 03 2010

I was going to comment but Thoth's was too perfect! lol

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RedQueen
02:00 Sep 03 2010

oh look...it's back again....

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birra
04:08 Sep 03 2010

*dies*



Oh, Thoth.. if it were only that simple...



Bank cheque for $5000? Ok.. no problem Dr. Ihoh...

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...that wasn't what I expected.



Not sure where that article is going, but I'm guessing, no where fast.



And now I have to take a picture of me with one of my customers.



Morri...? *sigh*

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Morrigon
05:23 Sep 01 2010

I'm on it...

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