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cutexbutxpsycho's Journal


cutexbutxpsycho's Journal

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57 entries this month

 

03:18 Jul 26 2021
Times Read: 21


d0a017d843599339954a91c5cb6e10a0
Yes💜

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06:43 Jul 25 2021
Times Read: 44


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05:20 Jul 25 2021
Times Read: 64


Honestly, I could play straight through the story in Death Stranding... But there's something relaxing about trucking around, delivering my packages. I usually turn on some Silent Hill ambiance, and my mind starts to wander... Walter Sullivan is am extremely interesting character. Silent Hill 4 is so underrated.

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04:52 Jul 25 2021
Times Read: 74


2021-07-24-22-29-50

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04:15 Jul 25 2021
Times Read: 89


AQKSqM

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01:15 Jul 25 2021
Times Read: 117


New clothes, new clothes ^^

The Nightmare Before Christmas stuff is coming out in full force as the end of the year starts creeping closer.
20210724-190207

And, of course, the moon is always in style
20210724-185327

I don't shop for myself from Hot Topic much anymore, but... Occasionally they have something decent for casual wear.

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08:00 Jul 24 2021
Times Read: 158


2021-07-24-01-58-50

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07:34 Jul 24 2021
Times Read: 178


My ex always seems to show up when I'm at my most emotionally unstable. Mostly I ignore him until he disappears for another several months. He always brings up a good question though. Why don't I just block him? Ego maybe? It's nice knowing your ex still thinks about you, I guess. But then again... dude will pretty much fall in love with/fuck any woman who looks in his general direction so there's nothing to be proud of in getting his attention, trust me. So what is it? I dunno. I guess I just think it's interesting that he keeps trying. Even after several years, gotta give him props on his persistence. Maybe I just think it's funny that all I wanted in this world at one point in my life was to have his attention, and now that he throws it at me I just don't care. Where do the feelings go when you stop feeling them? Do they really die? Do you keep pieces of people buried in you forever? What I do know with absolute certainty is that no good will come from him being allowed anywhere near me in any sense. But it's still interesting to watch from a distance...
Maybe it's sheer curiosity. To see how long he'll keep trying. Maybe it's entertaining. But he always says the same boring things. "I just want to talk. I want us to be friends." Blahblahboringblah.
We were never really friends...

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03:48 Jul 24 2021
Times Read: 201


2021-07-23-21-41-44
Uuughhgggh, I want it so bad😣
I kinda wanna message them like, I'll give you $500 for this dress right now...
Please, I just need to hold it in my arms, it belongs with me xD

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02:59 Jul 24 2021
Times Read: 215


2021-07-23-20-53-44
But for real real...
Depending on elasticity, a thong would make a PERFECT Dorito slingshot.
Am I wrong xD

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02:30 Jul 24 2021
Times Read: 237


15569490-hi
I got my order in about 30 seconds before it completely sold out xD
Fucking vultures❤

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06:25 Jul 23 2021
Times Read: 289


2021-07-23-00-23-58

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06:02 Jul 23 2021
Times Read: 301


Well. I broke down, and bought a bunch of stuff xD Hey, I held out for a long time, and I got rid of a lot of the stuff I was trying to get rid of, but you can't expect me to resist forever.
Polish-20210722-154536818Polish-20210722-154630105Polish-20210722-154656680
Things have been selling really well so I don't feel too bad about it :3

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21:30 Jul 22 2021
Times Read: 337


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19:39 Jul 22 2021
Times Read: 353


I thought that I was at the end of Death Stranding... But it just keeps going. Look, I really like this game, but the ending is even more confusing than the beginning. I'm getting no answers here. Where are my damn answers? Where's the grand reveal? Like with Higgs. As a typical villain, he monologed forever about his evil plan, but didn't actually explain anything to me. Ok, you wanna end all existence on this planet, I get that, but why? Whhhhhy are you doing this? Are you just that desperate to be the bad guy, you don't even have a reason for your actions? Come on, no tragic backstory explaining why you're trying to destroy humanity? I guess it's ego, he thinks he's going to be the one to finally end all life on Earth. Maybe? That's just such a generic villain thing though, that sucks.
tumblr-0abb2d5bd5a7ed896fc853633ce0f86a-1a0d7097-540
Then there's Sam and Amelie being huge douchebags to Fragile after it all, I didn't like that one bit. She saves everyone's asses, without her you couldn't even have found Amelie in time, and you just dismiss her like she's nothing, assholes. I love this game, but I'm ready for it to be over xD I've never played anything as fucked and confusing.

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05:31 Jul 22 2021
Times Read: 370


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05:26 Jul 22 2021
Times Read: 370


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06:02 Jul 21 2021
Times Read: 405


20210721-000020
Batman is almost usually probably right❤

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21:55 Jul 20 2021
Times Read: 436


2021-07-20-15-53-43
Omg...
It's too fucking real xD

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21:55 Jul 20 2021
Times Read: 436


2021-07-20-15-45-09

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07:25 Jul 20 2021
Times Read: 459


2021-07-20-01-24-02

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21:56 Jul 19 2021
Times Read: 484


Neewwww dress ^^
Beauty-Plus-20210719154406542-save
This is classic Hell Bunny. This is where they started. I deeply wish they would go back to designs like this because their newer stuff... I usually really like their Halloween designs, but beyond that they don't put anything out anymore that I love, they've gotten so boring. Love this dress though, a bit older, but perfect condition.

My new lingerie also came in today, and omg, it's so beautiful.
Polish-20210719-154439419
The fucking color is so gorgeous. They actually make this same design in pretty much every color out there, but I wanted the darker red because like I said, it matches those shoes perfectly, but this particular color is the only one that has velvet on it. Every other color has lace where the velvet is, and they're also really pretty so I do plan on getting other colors now, but this is my absolute favorite. Now I just need some red kitty ears to match ^^

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19:26 Jul 19 2021
Times Read: 491


2021-07-19-13-20-14
Suuuure, buy for $500, and I'll even send it with a kiss just for you😘
Jeez. It's a fucking mini skirt, dude. There are stock photos. But you need me to "model" it for you just to be sure? Uh huh. I think I'll get my brother to model it. He's got much longer legs than me xD
Even if you're legit looking for a skirt for your SO, you gotta realize how creepy this looks, right?
Obviously, I don't have any shame. But business is fucking business.

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05:32 Jul 19 2021
Times Read: 562


Omg, every time I look something up it ends up accidentally being a massive spoiler😐
I was just curious... Why Sam was calling BB, Lou. I thought maybe I had missed something. I've been trying really hard not to look up the entire story because usually I just say fuck it, but I'm really enjoying this game, and it is telling a story it's just a little confusing as fuck. And somehow ended up seeing that apparently soldier dude is Sam's father. What? I tried to stop myself from pressing the button, but my finger had a mind of it's own, it was unstoppable...
QkVn

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04:33 Jul 19 2021
Times Read: 566


Screenshot-20210715-010202-Poshmark
Oh, it's time❤

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01:10 Jul 19 2021
Times Read: 597


2021-07-18-19-09-06
This is the fastest a return request has ever been declined, it was within minutes xD
So I sold this dress about a week ago. After she had already purchased, and after it had already shipped, she reached out to me to ask, "How does this dress fit? Is it small?"
Ok, so what's the point in asking me that after it's already out of my hands though? No matter the fit, it's on it's way there to you, even if it fits like an XS instead of an XL, I can't stop it, you already paid for it. But still, I told her in all honestly, that I'm normally a M/L, and it fit me fine so yeah, I'd say, in my opinion, it fits small. I then wished her well, hoped it would fit, and went on with my life. Of course, immediately after it's delivered she tells me it doesn't fit. And I'm genuinely sorry about that, it's not like I wanted it to be too small for her, that sucks. And then a couple days later comes the return request... Because, despite my sympathy over her problem, I am not a department store, I can't just accept returns willy-nilly. And then I read the return request where she pretty much... I don't wanna say she's lying, but she's making it seem like I deceived her. She didn't mention that she only asked me AFTER she had bought it, and it was already shipped. And they can see our entire conversation so they know how it went down. She also never asked me for measurements. If you're gonna throw down $85 on a dress, and you think it might be a little small, you should get the measurements before anything. Never asked for measurement, material, stretch, fit, nothing. Of course, she had pictures of herself trying to get the dress on in her request, and once again, it was a probably 3-4XL woman trying to squeeze into an XL. So, the dress probably could fit an XL if she were one. If you need a size to stretch, you aren't that size. Sure, I can fit into an XS with stretch, but I am not a natural XS. A lot of me is pretty small, but I got boobs, and hips, and ass that don't fit into a size -0. You need to shop realistically. And here's another sizing issue I run into with women: standard XL is NOT a plus size. Plus sizes generally go from 3XL/4XL to 0-5. Standard size XL and XXL are not technically plus. Know your fucking sizes if you're going to shop online. Ask if you're not sure. I love to help people find something they'll love, it brings me no joy when things don't fit, but you also can't hold me responsible for your expectations. I did reach out to her after it was declined, in all politeness, just to kinda tell her that she should get measurements on things, ask more questions if she's not sure. A good seller will absolutely accommodate you, it's the bad ones that blow you off, and if they do then you really probably don't want to buy from them anyway. Don't be afraid to get all the information you can before dropping that much money on something. And of course, she's butthurt about it, and feels that somehow I lied to her, but that's the cost of doing business, sometimes ridiculous people are just gonna hate.
I know I complain about this a lot, but it happens so much, for fuck's sake xD

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08:44 Jul 18 2021
Times Read: 618


2021-07-18-02-37-022021-07-18-02-45-34
I don't think I've ever been more in love with her❤

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05:14 Jul 18 2021
Times Read: 634


tumblr-inline-nzz2cj9-FU01tgq1hc-500
Yes❤

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05:11 Jul 18 2021
Times Read: 655


I've been so busy I've barely had time to play my game.
I wanna know what happens to the jar baby😣

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07:10 Jul 17 2021
Times Read: 686


tumblr-82a5860bb4446a8cc4ecd796d29fe91e-b12083ab-500
xD
But it's so true😐
2021-07-17-01-15-03

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18:13 Jul 16 2021
Times Read: 722


Cleaning out my inventory is going really well. I'm glad I have the extra few weeks to get the stuff I was already selling, sold so it's not such a pain in the ass. If you can't tell, I'm a little stressed xD I've managed to save up over a few thousand right now, and as a hard-core shopaholic, that's a pretty big accomplishment. I have ordered a few things here and there... Saw these yesterday, had to have them.
Polish-20210716-120246760
Hey, $50 for a new dress + garter skirt is fucking awesome, I am so in love with garter skirts and thigh highs. My mother even found a new client for me, she's super nerdy, and loves the Gothic aesthetic so I had her come browse my closet, and she was in awe xD She especially loves Sailor Moon, and ended up buying a couple things from me. My mother told me this girl looks my age, but it turns out she's only 23 so either she looks old or I look real fuckin good for my age xD

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07:53 Jul 16 2021
Times Read: 753


2021-07-16-01-49-54
For real though❤

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06:41 Jul 16 2021
Times Read: 758


2021-07-16-00-40-49

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19:03 Jul 15 2021
Times Read: 794


You can tell I've played too many video games when... I motivate myself to jog by pretending a giant monster is attacking, and it's eating everyone, and the only weapon that can kill it is 2.5 miles away so I have to run 2.5 miles to get it then 2.5 miles to bring it back. Just run that far, pick up a stick, and run back as fast as I can xD
I love jogging, especially when I'm feeling emotional because it helps to burn those emotions out, it's relaxing, almost meditative. But some days I just wanna let that monster eat everyone, and go get some fuckin pancakes... Fuck the Reapers, they can take Earth, I need a day off xD

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06:46 Jul 15 2021
Times Read: 810


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02:23 Jul 15 2021
Times Read: 827


giphy

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21:26 Jul 14 2021
Times Read: 863


162629375111534815-jpeg
I don't have high hopes for this... I actually really like Suicide Squad, it was decent enough. But then they followed it with that absolute Birds of Prey garbage. And I REALLY hated every outfit they put Harley in, in that bullshit. It just didn't feel true to her. I feel like that whole movie tried to make her ridiculously over-the-top kooky, and ya know, she is kooky, she's fucking insane, but she's also highly intelligent, capable, independent, strong. She's the one with the plans, she's the one who gets things done.
Regardless, that dress was made for me, tiered and ruffled and red, oh yes❤
And the jacket. Though I still like my Bombshell Jokers Wild jacket better❤

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19:55 Jul 13 2021
Times Read: 895


DEATH-STRANDING-20191117231202
I love this game❤

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19:08 Jul 13 2021
Times Read: 914


16261994883977367
😔

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03:56 Jul 13 2021
Times Read: 955


Wolfie, and I have a complicated relationship. Always complicated. It's best not to get involved. Hard to say which one of us would slap you down faster if you tried to get between. It's not abusive or volatile or violent. Just complicated. The thing about Wolfie is that no one will ever be able to hurt him or hate him more than himself. He's got self-sabotage down to a science. I know better than to let myself get so emotionally dependent on someone. I do know better, I try to tell myself, but there's no reasoning with that bitch. She's so stubborn. It's just hard... A guy comes in, and he's the first ever to make you feel truly safe, comfortable, important, cherished, loved... It's so easy to just fall into him, to lean on him, to rely on him. That's not easy to get from a girl with major abandonment issues. I think that's one reason why I have such an issue with abandoning other people. I don't know what's going to happen. No fucking clue. But... I've got time to wait. I hope it turns out well xD

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FoxFire
FoxFire
05:49 Jul 13 2021

So very true.





 

20:39 Jul 11 2021
Times Read: 987


After playing Death Stranding for several hours I've decided that I do like it. Again, if you asked me what the fuck it's about, I don't really know xD The Death Stranding is... something. Something that happened to humanity. There was a breach between the world of the living and dead. These things called BTs came out of deadworld, and drag your soul into their world? But there are people, like the PC, who can find their way back to life? And there are menacing rainbows that precede rain which has a time traveling effect? Because it degrades your cargo, and equipment when you're in the rain. The monsters also come with the rain, and the only way you can see them is with a baby in a jar that's connected to you, called a BB. Because the BBs were never truly born they're connected to deadworld? Yeah, the fuckin baby thing is so weird xD And creepy. And they just kill these babies when they stop "functioning." And when people die they need to be burned or they'll turn into a monster or summon monsters, and if a really big monster is summoned, and manages to eat you then they explode, aka voidout? And that's just the overarching worldly story.
Then there's the PC. Who is the son of the last President of the United States. She dies, and he has to carry her corpse, ON HIS BACK, to an incinerator before it turns into a monster or explodes or... I'm not entirely clear. So it's up to you, main character man, to unite what's left of the US, and save your sister(I think?) from the faction that has taken her hostage. Other than that, he's basically a courier. The start of the game is pretty rough, you walk around with baby legs tripping over pebbles, literally taking damage from falling over constantly which also upsets your baby which you then have to pull off your chest, and soothe. This thing that they're saying they're going to roast alive once it stops sensing monsters? Bond with it. Rock it, make it laugh, and blow bubble hearts at you while the game tells you it'll probably have to be destroyed before you're even done with the game. Yeah. But your character does eventually get stronger the more deliveries you make, the more settlements you get to join up with your cause. Things really start kicking off when you get guns, vehicles, and pieces of power armor. Up until that point it's kind of a pain in the ass to get around, but the world is fucking gorgeous so it's not so bad blindly walking around.
Then there's DOOMS, and I have no idea wtf it is, but it's mentioned a lot, it's some kind if power. I think it means you can sense BTs even without a BB? It has you put your birthday in at the beginning of the game, and tells you that people born in

Cancer - June 21 – July 22

Pisces - February 18 – March 20

Cestus - November

Delphinus - September

Gigas - January

have higher affinity in DOOMS. I looked it up, and it said it really doesn't seem to matter much in game, but it does make me feel special having a September birthday xD But yeah, I'm not 100% sure what it is. There are a couple people I've met so far that have like... superpowers? One can teleport, and one can summon giant BTs which is where your first boss fight comes in. Yes, there are bosses, there is combat, there are even human enemies because... let me see if I got this right... A long time ago human postal employees were replaced by robots, and so they went fuckin nuts until they got their jobs back, and now they're so hooked on the high of making deliveries they attack couriers like you to steal your packages so THEY can deliver them.
...
This is legit what the game told me. I think xD
To be fair, I haven't really read into the lore much. There are conversations, interviews, emails to read, but the start of the game was so overwhelming, and confusing that I just said fuck it, and dove in. And now, several hours into it, I'm actually really enjoying it despite not having a firm grasp on things. But you know, that's part of the fun, piecing stuff together in world, figuring it out yourself. I don't need a game to hold my hand, you know, slap my ass, and send me on my way, I'm find with that xD It's a good game so far, in my opinion, just takes a little bit of warming up.

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07:08 Jul 11 2021
Times Read: 1,019


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04:18 Jul 11 2021
Times Read: 1,037


So. I wouldn't say this is necessarily a bad game. It's completely bizarre. But you know, that's really my type. The kinda game you have to figure out for yourself because it refuses to outright tell you what the fuck is going on. Yeah. I'm not sure if I like it or not, but I'm definitely super intrigued. I think it's sad that most modern gamers want all their games to spoon feed them information or they consider it a bad game. Immediately give them all the answers to everything or they hate it. Even if this game straight up told me what was going on, I think I still might not get it, it's crazy xD I wouldn't say it's bad, just real fuckin weird. Personally I enjoy that :3

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21:17 Jul 10 2021
Times Read: 1,048


2021-07-10-15-15-59
So far...
I have no words xD

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18:56 Jul 10 2021
Times Read: 1,069


Will I play Death Stranding or Jedi Fallen Order first...
I've heard good things about JFO, my best friend actually recommended it to me so I think I'll start with Death Stranding because how bad could it possibly be? It can't be THAT bad, right? Not like, Outer Worlds, bad. I still stand by the opinion that, that was one of the most boring RPGs I've ever played. Maybe it's better now? Maybe they've added onto it? It was pretty mind-numbingly terrible years ago.

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03:47 Jul 10 2021
Times Read: 1,096


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03:44 Jul 10 2021
Times Read: 1,096


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03:18 Jul 10 2021
Times Read: 1,103


Beauty-Plus-20210709211604510-save
I know I always say it, but I love having pink hair.
Pink hair + cat ears just looks so natural on me xD
This is the diluted Ritual by Arctic Fox. You take a few drops of the actual color, and mix it with any white conditioner until it's the perfect color. Personally, I used some $2 drug store garbage conditioner, and it turned out perfect :3

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AgelessNightmare
AgelessNightmare
00:22 Jul 11 2021

You're not wrong. It looks good on you.





 

17:55 Jul 09 2021
Times Read: 1,132


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05:10 Jul 09 2021
Times Read: 1,178


It hasn't been a great week. Got a kidney infection, got in a fight with Wolfie, literally got stalked by some motherfucker to the point of pulling out the pepper spray, and calling the police. Yeah, I'm not going to get into that. It's not just me though. My mother got harassed, and threatened at work. My brother caught his brother-in-law with heroine in the house with his children. My nephew got bit by a chihuahua. Which... I'll admit is a little funny xD But damn. It's been a horrible week for a lot of people around me. I'm going out to dinner with my mother tomorrow. If I get food poisoning I think I'll crawl under my bed, and stay there til Sunday. The entire world just feels off.

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Ruines
Ruines
05:21 Jul 09 2021

I hope your doing better hugs, prayers for you dear. those are painful! I have those often.





FoxFire
FoxFire
05:30 Jul 09 2021

Agreed.





Earthgrinder
Earthgrinder
17:33 Jul 09 2021

Take care of yourself. Road trip!





 

03:51 Jul 09 2021
Times Read: 1,207


Listen, honey bun...
You... are going to be ok.
It may not feel like it right now.
It may feel dark, and empty, incomplete, hard to feel, hard to breathe, hard to see a future where you'll ever be happy again.
It may feel like the whole fucking world is crashing around you or that you want it to just to end the misery.
I promise it's not. It won't. Cause it's gonna be ok. Someday.
You're gonna get through this.
And you'll be better off once you're through.
That's the funny thing about happiness. You don't really notice it until it's gone. But you feel every ticking second of sadness, loneliness, anxiety.
You'll get through it though.
You're strong enough to do it.
You will be happy again.
Just remember.
You are not alone❤

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FoxFire
FoxFire
03:53 Jul 09 2021

💜





Ruines
Ruines
05:21 Jul 09 2021

❤💕💋





 

02:26 Jul 09 2021
Times Read: 1,225


So because Persona 5 Strikers was such a massive disappointment... I decided to go for broke, and play another game with controversial reviews.
Death Stranding.
I have heard probably 98% negativity about this game, and I still have no real idea what it is. Something about making deliveries. I feel like a lot of the negativity probably came from it not being the next Silent Hill. I get that, PT set it up for Silent Hills to maybe be one of the best horror games ever. I'm still hoping they can bring it back someday since there hasn't been a really good Silent Game in... I don't even know how long. I know Downpour wasn't great, but it's been awhile, it may deserve a revisit. Honestly, if you asked me what Downpour was about I could not tell you, I do not remember anything other than the PC being transferred from a jail. And... a guy in a wheelchair? Yeah xD Hey, there were a lot of bad reviews for the Sinking City too, and it turned out not that bad so I'm going to give this a chance. It couldn't possibly disappoint me more than P5 Strikers, fuck that garbage pile.

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01:38 Jul 09 2021
Times Read: 1,248


Polish-20210708-192953242
I finally bought the perfect lingerie set to go with my favorite heels.
Screenshot-20210708-193246-Gallery
I know I've said it before, but this style is so comfortable, that's why I own them in every color. This color in particular is a bit hard to match though. Because it's not red red, it's more wine/burgundy/maroonish. It's darker red which I Iove. But I saw someone selling this set brand new for only $15. Normally it's $40. So yeah. This is exactly the type I love. Pretty, lacey, velvety, perfect❤
And I've been very good so I deserve it. I completely passed up every 4th of July sale last week without buying a single thing. I'm proud 0f myself :3

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06:22 Jul 08 2021
Times Read: 1,284


2020-11-01-19-50-10
There are people who will pay hundreds of dollars for the perfect Squishmallow...
Very. Scary. People.
I was looking at a wolf that was going for almost $1000.
Honestly, I just wanted to climb into the middle of them, and take a nap💗

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19:41 Jul 07 2021
Times Read: 1,300


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FoxFire
FoxFire
06:26 Jul 08 2021

💜





 

04:45 Jul 07 2021
Times Read: 1,321


ee5a3651a576d0744dd0b317821df3608b05fce6r1-320-180-hq

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08:23 Jul 06 2021
Times Read: 1,356


20210706-021726

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immorteb
immorteb
15:01 Jul 06 2021

I love this








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