The Ultimate Vampire Resource and Directory

05:38 Mar 31 2015
Times Read: 1,296

I'm trying to think of a new gamertag, because ever since I changed from SheilaTankLady, I just haven't been able to find anything that fits me. Then he threw out Salient Inferno. Inferno, because I wanted something to do with fire, and salient because I'm important to him. Granted, the words don't work together, but, I like the meaning behind it.



I really have to stop picking names because some guy suggests that it fits me. SheilaTankLady was something Slain had suggested, and now Salient Inferno is being considered because he suggested it. Maybe I should just stick with Solus and put up with all the bad Dragon Age: Inquisition jokes my group throws at me because of the character, Solas. Bah, picking a gamertag shouldn't be so hard.

22:39 Mar 30 2015
Times Read: 1,302

Oh those new Halo 5: Guardians trailers look so pretty. So freaking pretty. I can't wait for October.

08:26 Mar 29 2015
Times Read: 1,323

It's going to get better one day, just be patient.





I wonder how many times I have to tell that to myself before I actually start believing it.

04:34 Mar 28 2015
Times Read: 1,354

That moment when someone actually convinces you that hey, maybe weed isn't that bad. No, I have no desire to go toke up myself, but I suppose I better understand why a lot of people do. I'm not a fan of drugs, legal or illegal, so this doesn't really affect me personally, as I said, I have no desire to go smoke a blunt, just like I have no desire to go buy a pack and light up a cigarette. I don't drink, I'm not on any prescription pills. My only real vice is caffeine; tea, soda, and the like. But, I can see why so many people choose to smoke or ingest marijuana. Hey, if it works for you and doesn't turn you into some face eating psycho, who am I to judge what you do to your body?

PRIVATE ENTRY
18:58 Mar 25 2015
Times Read: 1,393


• • • • PRIVATE JOURNAL ENTRY • • • •

21:12 Mar 23 2015
Times Read: 1,425

It's weakness that draws me in every time. Weakness and the desire to be loved.

PRIVATE ENTRY
02:15 Mar 22 2015
Times Read: 1,449


• • • • PRIVATE JOURNAL ENTRY • • • •

21:29 Mar 19 2015
Times Read: 1,484

Things started off so well today, then everything just went to shit when I fucked up the passenger's side mirror on the Ford. Since then it's all been downhill. The only positive in this... Only the actual mirror is broken. At least I didn't pull the entire thing off the door like my mom did that one time. But... That is a very miniscule positive in this whole mess.

08:10 Mar 19 2015
Times Read: 1,521

How quaint, it assumes it knows what it's on about. It thinks it can pass judgement because it thinks, not knows, it has all the information needed.

04:34 Mar 19 2015
Times Read: 1,535

I just want to punch you in the face. With a brick. Over and over again. Because that's how you make me feel. Like I'm the one getting blows to the face.

01:16 Mar 18 2015
Times Read: 1,565

I had a dream about you last night. You were happy, you had found someone new, and she was lovely. You deserved that happiness. And, true to form, I come along and attempt to ruin your happiness. That's been on my mind all day. And while it was just a dream, I do want that for you. You to find your happiness, to find where you belong.

00:04 Mar 17 2015
Times Read: 1,596

That moment when you've said the wrong thing, when you've pushed someone beyond the breaking point so they just simply walk away.



I wish I could take it back, that I could just make them understand that what's said is said because I'm hurting.

08:51 Mar 15 2015
Times Read: 1,634

I take one step forward, then ten steps back... I'll never get out of this if this is the way I handle things. Falling right back into old patterns.

22:01 Mar 14 2015
Times Read: 1,656

I went and saw the new "Cinderella" today. I wasn't expecting to like it much, as I have never been a fan of the original cartoon Disney made 50 years ago, but I was pleasantly surprised. It was actually quite good. They kept to the source material rather well, yet they also fleshed out the characters far more than the animated film did. It was sweet and romantic and full of innocence. Be kind and courageous, great lessons to teach any child. I really love that Disney is making these live action films of their amazing animated features. And that they allow you a different point of view, as with "Maleficent," another film I greatly enjoyed. It's making these awesome stories more relatable to this day and age. Granted, we don't have fairy godmothers and a prince is not likely to become smitten with us after they see us riding a horse through a forest, but even so, they are enjoyable and can still teach us lessons.

00:25 Mar 14 2015
Times Read: 1,692


"I wish I could make it easy... Easy to love me."



I feel like I should come with a warning sign sometimes. Something to give potential friends, lovers, so that when I eventually lose my shit and revert back to that monster I always become, they at least had some warning.



I'm feeling very melodramatic today. The music I've been listening to hasn't helped my mood much, either.





Do you miss people? People you've never met but know that you could have, had you walked a different path? Can you miss someone you've never met? I don't know. I feel like that, though. And I feel like parts of me are missing. I'm not whole. Like, parts of me are with those people who I'll never know. Key parts. Important parts. My mind is a jumble right now.

04:34 Mar 12 2015
Times Read: 1,717

02:52 Mar 11 2015
Times Read: 1,734

So, a PlayStation 4 may be in my immediate future. It's something to think about.

07:15 Mar 09 2015
Times Read: 1,796

I'm thinking about trading my Xbox in for a PS4. I need a new group of people to game with, since mine has...well, since I can't really play with most of them anymore. I may just stop by GameStop when I get home on Tuesday, talk to the guy who's always there and see if I can't do that.



The only downside is no Halo on the PlayStation. But, I still have my 360 and all the Halo games for that. I'll lose Master Chief, but, eh, honestly that game wasn't really worth it. I don't need the pretty graphics all that much. I will have to start over on Destiny, though. And I'd have to rebuy all the DLC and shit, but, meh. It might be worth it.

PRIVATE ENTRY
16:22 Mar 08 2015
Times Read: 1,821


• • • • PRIVATE JOURNAL ENTRY • • • •

PRIVATE ENTRY
11:17 Mar 07 2015
Times Read: 1,856


• • • • PRIVATE JOURNAL ENTRY • • • •

PRIVATE ENTRY
03:26 Mar 07 2015
Times Read: 1,873


• • • • PRIVATE JOURNAL ENTRY • • • •

08:54 Mar 06 2015
Times Read: 1,885

Sometimes all we need is a push. Just the slightest push can set so much in motion.

11:26 Mar 05 2015
Times Read: 1,912

Changes are coming. Real, honest change. Things have been the way they are for far too long. It's a great feeling, getting this ball rolling again.



I've been feeling more like myself these last few days. Sure, I have those moments where everything seems bleak and dark and like it'll never get better, but with each new morning I'm working towards a better me. It's not all okay, not yet, but I'm getting there. It will be alright soon.

07:34 Mar 03 2015
Times Read: 1,961

It's the greatest feeling, being ignored by people you thought were your friends. Knowing that they choose someone else over you. I can't handle all of this rejection. I feel like I'm losing everything that matters to me. In my current state of mind, all of this is definitely not doing me any good.

PRIVATE ENTRY
07:11 Mar 03 2015
Times Read: 1,963


• • • • PRIVATE JOURNAL ENTRY • • • •

PRIVATE ENTRY
09:17 Mar 02 2015
Times Read: 2,018


• • • • PRIVATE JOURNAL ENTRY • • • •

10:34 Mar 01 2015
Times Read: 2,043

This is for the best. It's for the best. It hurts now, but it's for the best...



So, why don't I believe that?

08:42 Mar 01 2015
Times Read: 2,048