feb 14th05:53 Feb 15 2005
Times Read: 630
Today was valentines day and i don't have a boyfriend. I am actually pretty happy that i don't because i have awfull luck with men. Exhibit 1: my first journal entry
Exhibit 2: I once decided to change my luck with the opposite sex. It was last April and i decided it would be fun to join match.com. So i filled out a ton of stuff, i took personallity profiles, and IQ matches, and all sorts of stuff. My first warning sign should have been the docier they sent me back. They said and i quote "men will love your long golden hair and slim body, they might not like the fact that you don't have full lips" Hello, did they not even look at my picture. I have a huge butt, i look like a blowfish, and my hair is short and pink?
However i finally met a guy. Now let me tell you something right off, pictures are very decieving, they tend to hide things such as wheather the person has such a big nose that they look like a cockatiel, or wheather this person is built like Olive Oil on Popeye. But i digress, i met Steve. Steve looked adorable in his picture, and he seemed friendly. He emailed me and said he loved my smile, and hoped we could share a cup of coffee. That following Monday i met Steve. I was standing outside of my store and an old white car pulled up, and this short little guy that weighed about ninety five pounds walked out. He had a huge nose, and he was carrying a backpack. He apologized for being late and told me that he had to make sure his socks matched his outfit. A few things about Steve.
1.He is in his third year of school, but it's a two year course.
2.He told me that he would pay for my dinner if we could find someplace decent. Steve took me to Burger King.
3. Steve loves, i mean loves ferrets.
4. Apparently Steve had plans for the evening because in his bookbag, he had porno dvds, motion lotion, and handcuffs. Not that there is anything wrong with porno dvds, motion lotion, or handcuffs, but on the first date, and when your taking me to Burger King there is.
Exhibit3-My longest romantic relationship ended this summer. It was a month long, and it was a month too long. To say my ex boyfriend was immature is an understatement of the tune of saying we have a little mess on our hands in Iraq. He would expose himself in the middle of the street or my workplace, and he would have his thing talk to me. Yes i just typed that. The final straw was when he dumped a pitcher of cool-aid on my head. A few months later i found out he had been stealing from my workplace.
Exhibit4-Three of my exboyfriends have become gay. Now please understand that i'm a vocal gay advocate and i have a lot of gay friends, but to have three ex-boyfriends that are now gay is a bit odd. I mean they are not just gay, they are wearing makeup and high heels gay. The one guy used to wear these big oversize clothes, and he didn't wash his hair too much, and he played football. He dates me, all of the sudden, he is wearing designer clothes, and glitter, and he's an avid Cher fan.
Exhibit 5-I tend to attract men that have a mental health record. My one exboyfriend started to become real odd, he came in to my workplace once, demanding free food, asking the other workers if they wanted to die, and declaring that he was going to murder Jimmy Hoffa. Then another gentleman who was interested in me, started telling me how no one where he works will mess with him because of his millitary record and his mental health record, and how he can carry a gun into any building in the city and how the mayor can't stop him.
In conclusion i am happy for all of you who are enjoying valentines day, but please understand why i am enjoying not enjoying it.
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