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DrowVampire's Journal


DrowVampire's Journal

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2 entries this month
 

First Poem ever

03:01 May 19 2008
Times Read: 970


A woman who actually loves me for me

appears to me only in my dreams

Rare moments of bliss and happiness



But the reality is: This world is out punish everyone

happiness will never be mine.



I dont think I can ever trust again.

Never again.

Anger may always be my primary emotion.



An inner conflict of mine

I am not violent

But there is a lot of people I want dead.

Brutal deaths. Gallons of blood.

Make them scream

Beg for mercy

while I take them apart with medical blades,

Cricket bats

Announce their execution in 24 hours

then leave them all alone for a few days.



I tried to prevent revenge fantasies

from playing out in my head.

That did not work.



I was wronged by many people

School counselors

My ex-girlfriend

My parent

Evil step mum and her kids

Kids Help Phone



All alone I have suffered.

The burden is gone

But the memories remain.



I want blood.




I wrote today, mah first poem, not added to, recycled and rewritten, from songs.

COMMENTS

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SpellOnU
SpellOnU
00:34 Jun 02 2008

Sad, beautiful and angry.. The order varies..





 

Random Bits of Songs and Poem Snippits

12:44 May 15 2008
Times Read: 981


Emotional, vulnerable, insecure.

... for who would lose,

Though full of pain, this intellectual being,

Those thoughts that wander through eternity,

To perish rather, swallowed up and lost

In the wide womb of uncreated Night,

Devoid of sense and motion. - Unknown



**



The world is full of strange behaviour

Every man has to be his own saviour

I know I can make it on my own if I try

But I'm searching for a Great Heart to stand me by

Underneath the African sky

A Great Heart to stand me by



I'm searching for the spirit of the Great Heart

To hold and stand me by

I'm searching for the spirit of the Great Heart

Under African sky

I'm searching for the spirit of the Great Heart

I see the fire in your eyes

I'm searching for the spirit of the Great Heart

That beats my name inside

Sometimes I feel that you really know me

Sometimes there's much you can show me



There's a highway of stars across the heavens

The whispering song of the wind in the grass

There's the rolling thunder across the savanna

A hope and dream at the edge of the sky

And your life is a story like the wind

Your life is a story like the wind



Guka 'mzimba (body grow old)

Sala 'nhliziyo (but heart remain behind) - Johnny Clegg, Spirit of the Great Heart



**



We aren't angels, so in the midst of the pain of living,

when we look our own weakness in the eyes, we begin to realize the meaning

of gentleness. Don't fake the smile you gave to others. Sincerely

letting your tears flow also requires strength. We aren't angels, but

we can spread the wings called courage, and embrace each other with

a definite warmth, instead of with the sorrow engraved on our hearts.

If you close your eyes, I'm sure... (a song I cannot remember who)



**



Mother, looking at me, tell me what do you see ?

Yes, I've lost my mind.

Daddy, looking at me, have I crossed the line? - TaTu



**



I knew a man who lived in fear.

It was huge, it was angry it was drawing near.

Behind his house, a secret place

was the shadow of a demon he could never face. - Qkumba Zoo



**



Starry sky ...

Can I still see the light ?

What have I got?

What have I done?

What has it cost me? - intro song of Phantasy Star Online



**



Like a game of pickup sticks, played by fucking lunatics. - TaTu



**



Just to be the best I can be, sets the goal for every human. - In my African Dream, Vicky Sampson


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