SkullsNRoses's Journal


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6 entries this month


23:01 Jul 31 2022
Times Read: 398


Got me some kind of new life
Got me some kind of new dumb-life
Got me some kind of new light
Got me some kind of dumb light
Got me some kind of dumb-ass flight
Got some kind of pain hidden in the light
Angels with savage weapons
What God has hidden from my sight
Fire of faith is light without a life
A life kept without a fight
A life hidden from the light
A life kept outside life
A life kept frozen in time
A self hidden out of life
Keeping stoum is a longer fight
Keeping it down is a daily rite
Holding it down takes all the fight
When pain wants to win the fight
Hands down because of the light
I can't master the memorys for the fight
I can't even remember what it was
What I've blocked
Their all masters why should I care
Their all monsters why should I care
I try & stay alive longer
They don't know me
To try to cure for one day longer
I dare to care at lasting longer
At living on to see what my mind can make
Of education's
Of the power of the hidden eye
Keeping memory's at bay
Keeping thoughts of fearfull away
Keeping tearfull signs away
I've got stars in my eyes
Now the stars burn
And get in the way
And now a hard flight away
Is just a street corner away
And now another life away
Is just a blink away
Just a tear drop away
From an eye to an eye
A life to a life
Now just another year of a life wasted away
Your cold white flesh is just a touch away
Your cold black hair is just a forbidden lock away
Like a father
The power of life & death through it
The strength of your arms just a clip away
Just a blink of a clip away
Just the finger tip away
A lifetime of the lie of it
Being hypnotised through evil
The shame of the days peeling away
The shame of the skulls stacking away
The shame of the greif just like waves on the gravel
Lifting up the greif & tossing it around
Just grinding away
Trying to find the will to let it pass
Love was meant to build a bridge
But it built a tower of madness
And that's not even the half of it
Feels like they locked me away
They clipped my wings so I can't fly
I need the powers of the special eye
Like my love was a crime
Like I'm sanctioned for my time
Trying too hard to live
Death is just a kiss away
Death is just a curse away
Don't have the hands for it
Wasn't what I planned of it
Feels all fell afoul of it
Like a steel trap
Put my foot in it
But it's a game I can't play
I can't pay for it
I'm just some stranger
On the other side of it
What the masters want
Don't have the soul that's God's anyway
To stake for it
Some times the stars just mark me out
Should've been for love
It was for my love
It was for my light
It was for my life
To know him in this life
But the stars are against me
To press against the glass
To look right through the crystal ball
To look through life like it's made of glass
It's like looking at glass eyes
Instead of living ones
Like looking at crown jewels
When I'll never own a crown
But it got too cold
He's angry when he's cold
He's cold like dry ice
He's cold like champagne on ice
He's cold like a body left out on ice
Got marked out for punishments
Got marked out of choices
Got left out of chances
Got a blind black loop
A rope marked out with knots
The trap-houses
All have gates marked out with teeth
When love lives blind
When love plays dead
When lives live blind
When eyes need not to see
When the heart keeps on braking
Just from breathing
When the master says walk don't run
I don't keep the key in this life
I don't have the cards in this life)
The dogs will bark
And the dogs will bite
And the marks will come
Metals got twists in
The twists mark it as pain
That marks is with red
Clock has got knots on
Could mark it as dead
It's a dead loss
Clocks got a twist in
Time don't run straight no more
Trying not to just run
Trying not to just leave
Like some kinda knife pain
Lies hurt like cold steel in the night
Hurts like cold winds whipping in the night
Like tears in the dim light
Don't know who's been lying in this life
Got me lying low in this life
Been hiding away in this light
Been kept on the shelf
Been kept in dim light
Better off that way
They've got dead girls
They got dead dolls
They've living girls
They got living dolls
All tucked-up kept on the shell
Some souls been gathering dust
When trust dies
The silence just gets withering
The night gets too cold
Locks start getting rusted
Souls growing old
Faced turning into bones
And looks get kinda steely
Hard not to think of blades
Lives kept locked away
More better lives still on the shelf
Gathering on more dust
It's the knives that clear out the closets
It's the sirens that drown out the nights
It's the coloured lights that drown out the screams
It's the shirts with badges
That read out the rights
The fear of retaliations
Need nerves of steel
Need a will to endure
A whirring brain to calculate
Making the nights last too long
Don't care for me to know
Don't care for me I know it
Gonna fold me like a card
When the time is right
Got me some kinda substitute
Better than no life
Got me a burning light
Better than no bed for the night
Better a dark horse better than just black bitter
Rather be just bitter
Than try to work a war horse
If he's just a dark horse
Then I can't be off course
White is just another way to pain
Just another way to pawn
Colour of white is up
The road just up from pain
Colour of white is higher
The way just up from sane
Better a dark knight
Than some kind of twilight
When I'm not sure either way
Slowly going neutral
Feels like going nowhere
The light looks like pain
When the dark is that blunt
When the tongue is that harsh
When death is just that stark
it's just one up from a mark
It's like a slow circling shark
It's kinda like a snowflake
Burning in cold lights
When the twist is that hard
It's gonna be a long night
Knives go round in a circle
Till a wanton tongue drips with blood
His bark is worse than his bite
His bite is worse than his bark
At the pain just stings
And bleeds
The sting is cold
The bleed is hot
The burn is like fire
Fire without ice
All I wanted was to ice out the pain
I've lived this love all out
All out in vain
Digging my own grave because I don't know the way
The one who was meant to show me
Was born a liar
The one who was meant to tell me
Born from a liar
Just a fence of twisted wires
Just a circle full of liars
I wanted the white snakes to tell me why
But I've only got worms
To mark the way
They can't tell you why?!?
When the colour is white
It's more like a bite
When the bite is that bad
It's more like a pain
When the colour code is red
Some options look like dead
Some sounds go still in my head
Cuts more like a knife
That's one hell of a guy
That's a better style of substitute
The light looks saner
When the pain is better
When this pain is clearer
It's like some crystal
It's like something physical
When the pain is white
It's like blisters from the sun
Got me some kind of substitute
That's one substitute for a style
When my hopes are too high
That's a better way to die
When the spirits get real high
Some kind of male prostitute
Prositute to the night spirits
Prositute to weird spirits
Product of weird-ass spirits
Product of a bad environment
Makes a worser way still
He's been a slave to clear spirits
He's been a slave to bitter tonics
He's been a pawn to grave spirits
He's been gambling on others places
He's been hating on others faces
He's been in places you can't name
He's been down diggin in a grave
He's been in places you don't want to know
He's been drunk from a poison chalice
He's been drinking from a well of hell
He's been drunk in some bad places
He's been a slave to graven spirits
He's been in a churchyard full of broken souls
He's been where angels don't cry
He's been in places you don't want to know
He's been down deep where the living & the sane
these workers never go
Whore of the night
And he's never gonna change
Born with his spirits down
Born kept down in chains
Been in a cloud of smoke
Born from a spirit of mist
And he likes skull candles
That's one hell of a boyfriend
That one hell of a trick
That's one hell of a life
That's one hot-hell of a lie
That's some kinda date with hell
When Spirit lamps been looking low
When my life's been looking down
When my tides been low
When my laces are untied
And my tongues been slippin out
When the tide gets dry
Then time is out
When time out is too hard
To maintain the silence
Time goes hard
Time goes around harder than steel
Colder than ice
Harder than teeth
Colder than the morgue
Everything just goes around
And promises won't stay down
And fists get hard
Greif gets around
Crying goes around in a circle
Ringing like a bell
When greifs been around gonna be a long night
Gonna be a long ladder up to the face of justice
Could be a hanging judge if the spirits warrant it
Could be a drunken God limp on a couch
If the snores don't show it
Got myself a new whore now
He's been some kind of grave lurker
Got himself a core of steel somehow
I've got 100 ways to die
I've 100 ways of trying not to know it
I've got 100 ways to try saying bye
I've got limited ways to try
I've got 103 ways not to die
Time to find them damn keys
Before I give out from my knees
I've got 100 days of looking in his eyes
I've got all these years of trying to say goodbye
I've got 100 ways to tie the tyes
I've got 100 ways to look in his eyes
I've got more lives left
When the times still kept died
When the time has untied
When the time has died
All be all in the morgue
Before the ropes get untied
Before the clocks run on straight
Strangers coming in on the tide
Those meant to be kept out of the way
Get sucked from under
When the moon is pale
Always one way out
Another getting back on in.....





03:09 Jul 26 2022
Times Read: 653


My God's keep me where I was made
Born to struggle all in vain
Confused by society's
Always close to going down the drain
Kept drained out by life
With angels always taking flight
Wanting some kind of better chance that never comes along
Some kind of difference that never turns around
Some of reverance that's wasted by the sound
Your God's keep you at a distance
Your God's keep you on a pedastool
You condemn others
Totally decry their lives
Try to use up their lives
Dependent on turning on them
To stay in the circle
Your depts keep you in a shit-circle
Your seat has a carpet of thorns on velvet
A throne of hot coals
Then moving out & moving in again
Then just suddenly gone
Mine keep me frozen
Frozen up from all the years of fear
Broken down from this well of tears
Wretched from the wall of silence
My God's bring me up and all around
Stretched out highs
And stressed out lows
Vacant stretches when nobody knows
Well of silence where nobody goes
Wall of screaming if you walked me in
My soul keeps on shifting in silence
Trying to fix my spaces
Trying to remember the keys
Trying to stage my ages
Silence scares me like a broken cause
Treading water
Fed-up of stagnant waters
My soul longs to grow
Your just stuck on the treadmill
You just stick with the dead wheel
You know what you like well
You go around in circles
The doors of life briefly opened
Sweet lies make things happen)
Then slamming closed
Sometimes you seem real close
And you seem okay with me existing
But that's just another illusion
That's another lie
Being kept by a fib
Being kept up by another lie
An answer that I already know
But really the treadmill keeps you busy
And the revolving door
Is like your soul
Kept in tighter circles
Smaller world's
Twisted circles
Of bitter resentments
Where nobody goes
Where noone can grow
Where everyone's stifled
And logic never shows

Your God's bring you down all the way(s)
So many ways to bring you down
So many ways to spite the soul
So many ways to hate the heart
So many ways to spike the crown
Your like the downer-King
King of promoting all lows)
King of the lowest-brow
Always seeking to be lowly
Your lower down is your other way up
Seeking to stay lonely
Liking the low-blows
Waiting for the weakness to show
Watching the clock
Waiting for some blood to flow
Cause you know it will
Around the clock
Seeking to steal the better circuits
Never needs to try much
That circle already has the rush
Never put to trial
Never put to the test
Never seeks to try
A real deadborn addict
Right from the start
A real Street addict forged from neglect
Never gonna be book smart
Never gonna depart from true meaness
Never gonna change
Never trys to try trying anything new
Older ways just knaw on through
(Don't knock on wood
When your already bleeding
Cause your time was already due
For the thoughtless few
The hate is seething
Why the war is settling in)
Never needed anyone
Never needed to know why
Always repelled by what's considered Holey
Always down for something hokey
You like the base of the pyramids better
And rarely climb the rest
Don't need a better view
You'd only climb to kill
No other reason
You don't carve to care
You just carve to kill
Never really up & down
More just down & more down
I never knew there were so many layers down to Hell+
So many ways to not feel well
So many ways to die
Spell of sick
Upon spell of sick
Spell of death
Upon spell of death

My God's keep me in Darkness
From the mobs
Hidden from the rest
Always at rest
Always in repose
Always surrounded by the arts of resistance
But the swords I've kept are rusted now
And the eXcuses are drying out
Trying out new trials
Trying out new tests
Making up new ways to exit
Always knowing new ways to test it
Trying to make resistance last longer
eXits always better when the will is stronger
Your soul is everywhere at once
Like your souls set up a new prescence
It seems to wander about more
When I'm always holed up
Locked out of it
And out of it now
You are of this world
Always out & about
Some kind of bad scene
Wish it was badass
But I'm pretty sure it's just bad
Some kind of travesty of justice
Others sufferings
Your just gonna love it
Some kind of dive
I have some kind of badass love
I have some kind of kinky love
Some kind of kicked-down love
Doesn't bother you none
You've always gone spit on love
You always piss on lovers
You always shit on gifts
Your always down on God
And that's why
Your the downer King
King of downers
Prince of theives)
Like the list you keep
Like the lust you steal
Heart of hate so deep
Worse than a gun
You have some kind of hate
You don't care as you carve
You like hate candles
You like hate circles
You never seem to take a break
You never seem to brake
A real formentor
A real tormentor
A real torturer in training
Always torn-up
Always heading out
Always heading down
Or turning up upsidedown

Your God's are the lawless-ones
Always in unrest
Always in contests
Always trying the worsen the best
Always try to torture the beast
Always trying to weaken the test
To water down those resting
To tip them out for testing
To kill off all repose
No friend of silence
Always somewhere an atmosphere of violence
Always the cause of iron
Clash of swords
Counted and courted by the Great-Deceiver
The great contester of God
The great detested of humans
Hater of mankind
The greatest upheavals
Tareing and tarring up this world
Tarring and lying on his works
Ripping and tearing up this world
Tearing up this world
Taring up this world
Taring holes in anything
Taring holes in everything
Espically human minds
This world is yours
To take whenever
The words are his
The Great Deceiver
His words are yours
And your always his
He gave you the world
Your always good at using it
Poison in the well of life
Deadend Gods up from hell
Only the Gods know how you got up here
I wanted to stay around and see you there
Where you dwell
The walker through this life
The sleeper in this life
Saw you as a man
Maybe forsaken
Maybe as forgotten
Had too high hopes
Gave you too much rope
Never thinking you a hanger
From too much strife
My hopes too high
Now I'd bitten on the lure
Like a fish with no eyes
Just time passing now
Waiting for you to turn the knife
Not a friend to evil
Not a brother to a liar
Not from the devil's spawn
Which is your true role
Behind the hopes
Lies just another kind of death
Trapped by the worse kind of dept
That's who you always are
That's who you always were
Where your at
His soldier boy
Now & forever
But it's all gone past me now
It's all gone around me now
My time with you there
Able to ask
Able to speak
Able to try
Trying to try turning around this shit
What won't come back
Cause you don't carve to care
That time had come
Down on me
To deal
To know the steal
Now it's down & out
Knowledge comes like death at the door
Like a messanger killing off the floor
And now it's gone
Now it's done!!

Our God's always kept in perpetual greif
Left over from a different age
Your God's are well-practised in the arts of deeper deceits
Your own emotions
Made from the modernist wars
Kept tough on the streets
These deep deceptions are your own brute conceptions
Your own emotions as spurs
Kept in perpetual motions
Going round in circles
Sickened creations from your own perceptions
Your own well of confusions
Angry emotions take hold
Angry emotive memorys tell the seasons
Frustrated reasons
Mark the circles
(From some bad strangers
Bad makers
So long ago)
Coming up from some other deprived kind of souless hell
You don't like anyone to know you
Espically yourself
Always surrounded by shades
No mirrors on your sense of self)
Your mirror is the world of the streets
But they don't know you much
Or even care
You don't carve to care
And nor do they
They just carve to kill
They just want your spells
Others people's ideas
Other people's feats
Other people's fears
But it can't tell you well
It keeps you in distress
It keeps you in deceit
It marks you down
Kept that way brute
Kept constant incomplete
Well of anti-social disorder(s)
Social well of hates
Twisted arch of fates
Social well of weird
Spirit tongues that twist and turns
Like snakes snaking along on a pole
Spirit tongues
Wetted from a well of silent led hells
From others halls far away
Messages of boasting
Victims and Kings
Black candle to this world
Kept blackened
Kept spittled
bound by spites
Made from strifes
Killed by knives
Bound from ancient hatreds
Made for the mobs
Dirty deeds done in the dark
Quick knives turned over cheap
The wounds kept a lifetime
Scars mark the timeline
Taking a better way could change the timeline)
Kept down by the slobs
Crept around by the jobs
Falling apart at the seams
Noone gets their dreams
Made sore from the constant slogs
Tripping over your own tail
You never stop turning
All my lives I've been yearning of some better place
But some place else I'm just kept burning
Like a spit roast I'm just kept turning
That evil eye still on me
Won't stop burning

I'm always kept up
Kept up tired
Kept wired
Kept up worried
When it's my own tongue that's too long
And my imagination strung out wrong
Always like a headache
When my mind is wondering off
Always like series of shorted-out nightmares
Your own souls edits
Really perplex me
But God knows I'm better off not knowing
Your always kept bored
To much power to even bother
Too much power abounds
Too laX to need to even care
Keeps my ink-wet up through the nights
And when the nights are bad
Your spirit feeds the worse
And sometimes I get it up
To feel it for you
And get some relief from the agony's you can bring about
You never made the good form
The god form last long
Just long enough
To keep me hooked on good enough
To keep me blind & stupid
Dumb & dumber
Hoping you'll go change
Hoping you'll go God
Instead of just going back over to hate

The deeper well of your self was yours
Of course your God made it that way around
Problem is all mine now
That I wanted it to be ours
Guess your not to happy that I'm stealing
Glimpses into your well of soul
Goes cold
And then goes sticky-black-hot
Bad magicks keep me reeling on out (logical)
Stubborn shit lures me back on in (illogical)
Some eXperts say that danger is a key
Sex & danger
A trigger
An impulse
To those so inclined
A passion
A psycological stir fry to the brain
Always some others problems
With some other reasons
Your well is frought with dangers
Your hell kept well stocked-up with strangers
Never gonna see Heaven as a relevance
Never gonna see true resistance rise up again

My God's keep me in reverance
My God's try to keep me in severance
Your God's keep you in vicious-contempt
My God's keep me in bitterness
Your God's keep you in petty-spites
My God keep me in gravelly contempt
Your God's in precious-always spent
Sometimes wonder who's gonna be next?!?
But why should I care
No more hope in this life
No more helping hand
Now dead throughout the land
Noone even to tell well
All the ears gone deaf
Not even on the market anymore
Won't be me no more
Never was me anywayz
Sure you've got your market
By then you'll have your targets
A whole bunch of suckers
Spirit wives for the taking
Kept in the makings
Whores kept on tap
Dogs on a leash-end
Pain loaned out on the weekends
When the whips have knots on the downend

Just as well I'm out they'd all say
Those who have their says
But don't walk these ways
Don't understand those who stray
Those who get lost
In a system full of bad ended knots
Entanglements that don't unthread
But what do they know of wicked-ways
What do they know of blacker stays
What do they know of wasted dreams?!?
What do they know of crooked seams
And deadened knots
Can't get anything undone with fingers all gone numb
We all want to be beautiful
Even when we just feel bad
Or wasted up we still want to be wanted
or need to feel sad
Cause logic trys to dictate to me
And I kinda know shit
I've even read up on stuff sometimes
Taking on theory's
Trying on lives to see what might fit me
But I undictate to the dictates
That you've just gone too far
When in reality guess your all over bad
And bad for me all over
Bad to me
Does bad by me
Every kind of gift he charges you a fee
Looks bad on me
Looks bad through me
Looks right through me
Just bad through & through
Look bad on me
Look down on me
Look badly down on me
Wanted you madly about me
But you make me look badly drawn
Wanted you gladly about me
But you just like stealing from me
The life that lie that could be ours
But I got shit so damn wrong
Too many pretty lies
Didn't hear the tongues go sour
Got all the circles named out wrong
Jigsaw peices upsidedown
Sweeter fruits were the bitter ones
Thought bitter fruits not the better ones
Reading the wrong books
And the cards upsidedown
Stupid bitch
Try to take wiser choices
Or the cards stay bad
Better turn myself around

Maybe I'm out
But I'm not better
Maybe I'm better but just still bitter
World strewn with letters
Eyes jump with letters
Words just bouncing around my head
Words almost dripping off my tongue
A wordsmiths way of pain
Web of words swim before my tired eyes
World strewn with questions
When trying answers hurts my head
Bad ended answers
I'm better off dead
Maybe I'm down again
Too long to know
When depression becomes a master
It's like a maker
It's a real evil shit marker
Taking all its time
To be king of the rest-bed
Fading off my days
Draining me all out
Maybe I'm better off without a master
Just feel bitter
Don't do well kept on a leash
Love the lash for sure
Love the spikes
And the bright lights of pain
Love the pain of denial
But ask too many questions
Even though I'm down
I'm not out
I'm not out & through
I'm not out & free
My mind is in peices
My peace of mind a longer Jigsaw puzzle
Where you hold back peices
If I'd known I couldn't do it
I wouldn't have started it
Thought I could prove it back together
But the peices just don't fit
And now the box is split
My picture won't get made
Even if I'd done it stage by stage
Yeah I've done the out part
Got that box done
Got that ticked off
Even held out
And held it down
But not for the better days
Not going forward with the better days
I'm just kept out the way
I'm just away rotting away
I'm just resenting all the ways
You know to win
I'm just inside a mental fish bowel
With just my eyes looking out
Reality has a weak hold
That's what they all say
Just walk on out
Get going to get on out
Yeah I've done that
Managed many times
To change my mind
Till the revolving door smacked me back
In the face
Put me back in my place
Then my demons tell me lies
Wanted to be held down
But not just kept down
Just feel kinda trapped
Just feel kinda sapped
From the war of nerves
Wish I'd chose some other place
A better let-down
Like where tar comes from a tree
Everyone's tapping
Everyone's leaving
Sometimes I'm just leaking
Depression brings in real bad scenes
Even worse than my situation already
Know we're just not speaking
Like a snake with an old skin
I'm not done with shedding
So much shit so much in conflict with reality
Your translations took all of my sanity
Reality ain't my best friend
When I go on down deeper
Know I'm a real touchy-feeler
But I fucked it up
I couldn't really feel it
What was happening to myself
Till it was too late
What I touched was more layers of illusion
Lies miXed up with truth
Some truths stirred in with lies
I saw everything in crystal clear motion
But yet I saw nothing
Didn't see the roots
Or your bases
Saw your eyes just as eyes
But not the laughter hidden up inside
You have a ruthless store of ambition
I have some kind of dedication
We live in different ages
My loving trust
Not seeing that you'd only be around
To go hit & run
Your love of deception
Nothing coming
Masks & promises
Are layers of illusion
All laid upon
Layers of lies
Layers of broken trust

It's a bad joke
You not being here
Me not being there
It had a bad taste when I was still in there
Your just going somewhere
I'm just going round & round
Really fancy ways of going nowhere
Me still being down for it
Quite bloody shamefull
Can't turn the tables
All kinds of crazy
Whatever you gave me
Some kinda dating drug
Everything that keeps you smug
Seemed a lot
But wasn't much
I'm still paying for it
Cost me too much
Cause of what I wanted
Got kinda rushed all up
Didn't calculate the cost
The body fades kinda over easy
But the soul never learns
The soul always yearns
To de-code this affliction
To de-tox this addiction
To blot-out this intrusion
To wipe free these images
These mistakes
They say to get on out
To get on going
But your eating away the days
Finding other ways
To control from further off
Trying to flip you off
Sometimes I don't care
But long term it burns
So I'm losing all down the line
It seems easier to be there
With you for real now
Than just being haunted half to death!!!
To just eat your shit & die fast
Than go through all this shit real slow
Alone & feeling deep in dept
But you gave no real options
All just nasty opinions
My suffering
Your unreason
Your sadists crown
Like thorns without roses
And what the hell shit is that?!?
I'm not all roses without thorns
Some evil assed shit

My logic knows facts
But facts have to compete with lies
And facts have to compete with illusions
And trust with lies
Lies have to run on lust
My better instincts don't want you
Cause your just so murky
So clouded
And so unclean in your spirit
Your body is fine
But your attitude so shit
You always did start so well
You speak so well
But then start to lie so bad so quick
Then just speak bitter
But facts can blur to fiction
Pretty quick
Lust is blind
And love just isn't out done yet
It's been outdone by twisted fate
Those who live in the past
Just lie in the past
Gets masked by liars
Who didn't really mean it
Who just cannot feel it
Who never read a book
Or paid for a meter
Or were stuck for a cup
Your attitude is just so full of contempt for agonys
We all have our own trajedys
You can't see yourself yet
Stay at this stupid distance
How far is difference
How far is distance
Too far
Not far enough
It all depends on persistance
All in the mind
When your still just over the bridge
This far away is already too far
Open minds can open gates
But broken minds can close them
I'm out
Feel down & out
Not out & clean
But I'm so done waiting
For nothing much
Just welling up
For thorns without roses
Lurking on self-pitys
Forgot to see the light of reality
You could help me back up
But you won't
Care as you carve
Out my soul
You'll just kick me back down
Kick me back out
I'm out
But only cause you put me out
I'm down because you put me down
I want to get back up
And walk on straight
On a straight line
Not like a freakin drunk
But I'm still an addict
I want your taste
I'm out but I'm still under
Chemical addiction
Some kind of affliction
Hard to have choices
When chemicals act like chains & leashes
I'm still bonded
I'm still in bitter bondage
Wan't a better bondage
Someone who cares as they carve
About others souls
Not a bandage that just leaks
But you won't care as you carve
My chemical brain is leaking
Your bastard soul is still leeching
Still latching on somehow
I know it
Noone would believe it
But I just feel it
I'm still chained up in my mind
And that's worse than the body
Want you to suck out the poison
Take out the potion
That your spells put in
but you just damn won't
Your poison mind keeps the drugs in circulation
Don't care as you carve
It's all just numbers
Soul hoarders
Soul carvers
Don't hear the screams
Just yank the chain
Just count the numbers
While elsewhere pathologists count the bones
Keeping me in chains
I'm not what you even want
I'm not who you even think I am
I'm not what I even am
Or doing what I even want
I'm trapping myself I am
Putting myself down
You don't even know me
Your not even what I needed
Your gonna get so mean
Soon enough & roundabout)

My God's keep me wrapped in a wreath
Stupid bloody flowers
God's promise lost by the hours
Losing God's love through all those hours
Really that's just the burden of greif
Like a shroud in waiting
All these years you've been faking
Took so long just to say those words
Won't be long till I'm down
Didn't react too great to you leaving
Kinda tough when I wasn't even started on you yet
Like a passenger on a ship
I was leaning into the waves
Your primordial water so guess you'd just wash me away?!?
I was gearing up to deal
Should've seen you'd just played cat & mouse
Till you'd gone down left on out
While I was still above going on right along
What a blind mismatch
What a turn about
Poor old-gal it's just another blinded stunner
He stung you
He rung you out
To get his fiX
Then he just made you a wreath of white roses
Made up of blind-faith
Blind light in the eyes
Innocent expectations
Limited liasions
from a section of society
Better done without
Now I know well worn out lines
From well known liars)
Sometimes words are like worms
Bookworms seeking souls
Editions taking on a hold
I've been time out with imports
Paid more for better access
To this world of sin
To this ghetto whore of love
All roses have thorns
All promises lost
From better educated liars
While I work my way out of hell
Kept out of the way
I spy on life
From the goldfish bowl
My eyes still see to work around
Just about
Don't know this world
But my eyes are trying to calculate
To see new works
They know how to brake the silence
Should've been seeing red by that time
Was already red just kept inside
Strung on up with the wire full of lies
Keeping the roses from falling all apart
Keeping the language of silence
Kept tight from the start
Easy to pick a bitch up when she's so far high
(Was I too far gone
Looking at the skulls
Where the sun could've shone)
Set up the traps
Work on the wraps
And then eXit when the goings going to get tougher
When the cups gone dry again
Then the well of life has truly run dry
Now it'll be the gray shadows
And the ink-well has run dry
Only death is left
He's coming for me next up in line
The reaper is up next

My God's keep me greiving
My God's keep me underneath
Your Gods keep you heaving
Maybe you feed on corpses?!?
Maybe I'm just down on dreaming
Maybe you get your works done on the graveyard shift
Don't want to know what your fixing
Or what you've been finding
Curiositys keep on binding
Bad chemicals keep on finding
What your sure missing
Ain't that a blinding
Your God's keep you searching through graves
Lawless is always lost
And lost is always lawless
You never see the prices spent
Or the graveyards kept
You know your own secrets
But don't feel others
You don't feel for others
You don't care as you carve
Or count as you crave
Only to chalk them up
Then you know where there at
When your the one who's coming down
You'll find the memory's then
Of who has what
You don't care as you crave
You just carve to kill
To feed on minds

Sinister in style and somewhat depraved
Or maybe just from background of deprecations?!?
Well sounded in depressions
Like a king to a slave
Suffering in deprivations somewhere
Always lurking to attack me somewhere
Always sour and sore in all ways
Trying to even the score
From a war that others made
Trying to scratch out my days
And wick-out my eyes
And work out my lies
It's my business how I've survived
Trying to tare out my pages
Making shit of all ages
Making spit out of sages
Making shit out of ages
Making lives out of lies
Bringing back the worser pages
Touching on the worser stages
Always someone to blame
For all your hatreds
Come round in stages
Lust didn't sit with you well
It makes you angry
And being ignored makes you nasty
But you only deny yourself in this life
I've gone back to the light
For one more time
Even though we'll always come back around
Sight & sound
Pain & blame
Highs & lows
Atmosphere & atrophy
Depression & defeat
Ego & conceit
Dead & deadbeat
Go back into the earth
Till I rebound back again
Like a bird on a wire

Better off gone
Better off dead
Better off done
But we're never outdone
Like a sun that's never shone
The light brings me back up
And the dark brings me back down
And you can afford to lurk
Knowing my signs
Just working it around

Too tired to even hurt you now
Too tired to even hate you now
Too weak to push you back
To hunt you down
Or kick you right on out
Right out the circle
One of these days
My God will find the better days
We do owe you that
To be black & blue
On me of course
Through on through
Then you can sleep like a dog
As we often do
Tormented by thoughts that kill off true sleep
Wondering what went wrong
When it's just that I got it all wrong
Marked everyone with the wrong tips
Too much conscience
For some kind of leech in the system
From some kind of overkill
Some kind of overspill

Your a buzz kill
Your a sickened clown
I wish I could shut you down
Wish I could shut you up
But I can't shut you out
Goes round on this loop
Playing stupid
When I know I'm smart
Like jumping through hoops
Can't shut my mind down
This is some kind of affliction
This is some kind of addiction
It just steals away your life
Slowly treading water
Drop by drop stealing from the blood of faith
Stealing from the well of light
From the well of life you drink
Like you can truly give
But it's always another turn
Your just made from his deception
Made from the great deceiver
Another trick
It's my own mind that's all turned out
Like some kind of open purse)
Shocking kind of mistake
Weird kind of mirage
When hate feeds on hope
What a shit loop when your mouth is out
Constant verbage as you chew right through souls
Gotta have to hear you
Just can't be near out
Just can't stand your mind
Or take your vibe
Can't just shut you out
Opened up the gate
Can't seem to steer it
Shouldn't be near it
Cause your shadow is too near
And the barrier is too sheer
Your shadow leaks on over
Even though it should be all over
Beast of burden on my shoulder
The day gets longer
As the day gets older
The pain gets older
And the shadows just get longer
Your hate never gets much sharper
Not like my ice-cold hackers)
Your a slippery shadow
Not some skull cracker
Always somewhat fuzzy and vague
Somewhat suppressed
Kinda like written through water
But the day gets longer
Always seems like a lurker
Should be a lover
Well that was your stupid idea
Should have just shut it all down)
Should have known
You've been around
Causing trouble
Should have stayed in my bubble
Acted like a lover
But that was just a ruse
All billshit from a stealer
Should've been a rose)
Another agenda
Bad message sender
Gonna soon be a stranger
But more like a jerker
More like a joker
More like an undertaker than an awakener
Guess you acted as an awakener them changed your minds-mind
And your eyes-own eye?!?
Wanted to be the leader
Well that's what we figured
Took a while to get triggered
But then to just pass on by
When it was all just a set up
Set up by my own mistakes




πŸ’€πŸŒΉ A BAD MEDICINE-MADE GOOD-PART-A} πŸ’€A BAD MEDICINE MADE GOD PART B} (D.K/M TP) Re-written from the lost edits)

18:04 Jul 20 2022
Times Read: 795


Got myself a new old lurker
A real tear jerker
A twisted kind of joker
A real page turner
A real rope-jerker
A real prayer-maker
A real soap-slipper
A real salty stunner
A hot bring-down-er
Pain so hard
Stings like a blinder
Born down lower
Bound up to make you higher
Not one for the love
And the flowers
He prefers his crazy towers
Left up alone without living love
Surrounded with the dead
Living nightmares from his head
Skulls of the dreaming kept like a wall
Pulled like bones
From his sated dreams
Outdated schemes
Not one for the roses
Unless the roses all have wicked thorns
That turn in and carve out
Slice to make you bleed
When love is a well proven lie
When the origins are worse
Then hate can seem much truer but more crueler
Longer lasting for sure
Emptyness is the worse
Deadness throughout
Or pain seem realer
When the lash is better than some others
Than just a pale shade of some happyness
Belonging to someplace else
How do you made good medicine out of bad?!?
Make a God out of a bad-guy turned out of mad?!?
How do you take a mad-gal back out of sad?!?
A sudden change of pace
A sudden change of pain
A sudden shower of stars
A sudden shock of evil
A real rock of ages
Taking it real-hard
A real blowhard
Aggressive and violent in Art and in mind
And inside my mind
Seeking out my magical eye
Blow by blow
Snow by blinding snow bury me alive
Can't count my soul out for five)
And likeing it that way around better
And knowing it that way better around
When life is harder
Hearts get harder
Life gets older
Teeth stay hard in the light
And attitudes get colder
Soft love is all on the surface
Or so it seems
It never grows down or out or back
It never digs back in
It never cared that much)
Forgetting that I'm better off out the back
Off the track
Kept locked in the closets
Kept back from the targets
Stigma & dogma fill their minds)
And the star can't work it
All arts just drown from it
Struggle out from under it
Feeling stronger urges
Drowning in Souls so wicked
All down & out
And all shot-out
Don't have a block out
Need a better black-out curtain on my mind
Keep on trying to not fall
Keep on trying to not to fall for it
Keep on trying to purge it
Keep on trying not to urge it
Fight to manage it
My urges are too blind
Too slippy from taut mistrust tangled up lust
Tension and anger just tangled all in turmoil and blindness
So I pull back out
Just a taste
Just a take
Just a snapshot
Just a clip-shot
Like a pick me up
Like a poison tonic
Like a pick me up
Like thorns on a rose
Don't really understand why?!!
Bad medicine is all they ever have
It's all that's ever bad
It's all they've ever known
Noone lives on showing honestys
One remembers all the trajedys
It's all they can sell
It's all they can tell of this world
Bad medicine from bad-gods
And I should know by now
Dark energy flows always like a river
It's just blindness to the mind
Morbid sea to wash me away
And pull me off track
But I manage to hold on back
From falling in to the dark rivers
Seeking anway into my soul
Didn't really contemplate
Didn't really consent
Just pull back
Before i go swept under
Every kind of no
Got turned into a yes
Every kind of yes got turned into a no
Every kind of twist got put on this love
Every kind of hot burned in this oven
Every kind of pain got turned into a buzz
Never understood for sure
Only in parts
What the fuck God did
What a bad-ass God did
What a whore God made of some men
What a core God made of some men
What a monster God's made out of human men
The Masters & the whores
The whys & wherefores
God just forces me to write just to burn down the candle
To get some real sleep
To turn round the handle
To try to not lose all my marbles
Or finish-off my haunted-out eyes
Getting fish eyes from staring so much
Soul getting worn from trying to much
Till I can know true self-preservation
Or just self-starvations
Self-reservations I keep a plenty
To step outside of this life
And out of the way
Drowning in my own mind
Yanked about by my own heart
Ripped out from my own parts
Drowning in weird arts
Drowning in weird-ass guys
Trying to look beyond their eyes
Try looking between your thighs
Can't help but notice
Though your sure a pin-up heart jerker
When you have a missing heart
There's a case of missing brain
Kinda like a zombie
Outside of the lights
There's always a better part
Trying to look into darker-eyes
Knowing his eyes-mind-you
Better to look away
Knowing your evil eye mind you
I'm better on my way
But even if it kills
I'm sure his looks can kill
Knowledge is a driver
Holding myself back from them
Feeling the pull but not drowning in them
The soul reapers
Resisting this all-powerful urge
To just go drown
To just go down
To just black it all back out
Went down the wrong road
Got stuck down the back way
Not enough energy
To turn back around
Negative attention was all I got
I'll intention
Bad inventions
Is all you get
That's all there was
Felt like the older
Witch burnings
Unwanted hangings
Others dyings
Going down on me
Hatred of society
Felt like all the shit on my plate
Life going all to waste
Got too used to the taste of bitterness
Got too hot for it all to go to waste
Cause the fire was already there
Got twisted all up on my own tastes
(Never tasted sweetness from before
Always belonged to others
Those with real mother's
Those without this dreaded weight
Those without a bitter fate
Not some other from the gutters
Some stranger with some others
Who just kills from screaming
Never had the protection of the law
Never had that place to belong
Some kind of cripple
From the South gate) SP/M
Salt to salve the sore
Taste was always bitter
Got used to eXpecting others attitudes
Being the regular scapegoat
Or others emotions?!?
Always hate fear lust pain
Always the same shit
Always the same
Never good medicines
Everyone just got sick around us
Everything righteous just got twisted
This love took on all kinda twists
This love soaked up others shit
Bad medicine made good
Bad medicine made God)
By art twisting it around inside my mind
Like a coiling black loop
Like a licorice kinda sweet
Trying to see it better
Trying to taste it better
Always tastes so bitter each time around
A dead God made
much better from the potions in my mind
Artistic notions
made arts out of strange guys in my mind
The eye of my own mind
Broke it's own heart
And still stayed out cold
Trying to calculate souls
To get a better handle
On days of old
A real cold hard turn-around
Stone cold faith
Stone dead turn-on
A stone cold death-faint
A total drop-down
All faint & all pale from his might
Pale in the moonlight
Left out with too much rope
Now hows this godarned shit gonna end?!?
Fallen for you
Like braking my neck kinda falling
Feels like falling out
Someone's stacking my deck
Someone's fiXing my clock
Feels good when God's got all twisted
Some sick set up I've just visited
Now I'm gonna fall-back-out of this life
Fall back from the light
Fall back outta line
You want me in your hard-sights
You want me ground down into mincemeat
But I'm out of the way of your hates
You want me be burned by the mainline
But I'm out from the mainframe
Can't take my name in vain
Gonna drain from that bastard vein
You can be the sacrifice too
Don't need to Die from you to live in this life
Sometimes in my mind you look real good dead
Real God
Beautifull that way
So good it's scary
Better in this life
I just want you to learn
I just want you to lean
To put me back to rights
Ain't gonna touch me in this life
Now now or ever
Already touched me in the neXt
And that don't get much better
Ain't never gonna touch me in this life
But I go one better
Though it's freaking scary
It's a malady
It's a near sanity
And that's how it works
The remedy is nearly worse
Than what it's supposed to go cure)
Can't stay here long
Souls not made that way
Gotta find me some strength
Someplace else
Gotta go rest & repose
Away from you
Away from your killing eyes
Away from your killing lies
Away from your killing lines
Gonna find my way back around to the album-covers
This new found older way of joy
The portrait of your blacker soul lurking under
Your soul gets thicker from some spirit lives
Your weird white flesh
Makes my spirit flare
All pale and all scarred
Some ink some pain
Some life some death
Seeing you talking
Seeing you walking
Kinda normal guys stuff
But it's just too trippy
The images you made just go change
I look and keep seeing shit that's not there yet
Skull just gets in
Other pages
Other stages
Other ages
You stuck a star in me
Sharp points like metal
Gray like steel
And the pain just kills it
Burns out my lights
With crying from the burning ice
My brain warns me
Something kinda creepy
Makes us all go weepy
My brain thinks your dead
Your kinda made as two
Two lives
Two souls
One sure body
That's just too weird
Not really sure
What is imagine
What is real
World of the shifter
Brain goes out on a bender
As the brain goes slippy
As the mind gets trippy
Slippy vague
The light get loopy
Slightly sloppy in my head
The senses get duplicates
Upstairs run upwards
But the mind runs down
In my my trancing mind
Your going up like that film
But really out all around
Trying to catch others as you are now
Your other frames
Spirits going all out slippy
Given to a name
Should be written in bones
As they just slip on past
Every time we think we know you
We have to lock it down
Pin you down again
Go into rewind again
To it through again
To get back around you
Cause you'll change again
We gaurd against the loss
Cause I sense others are you also
You elsewhere
Your grin is ghoulish
And the other teeth are smiling from under
The photograph in my mind
The autograph of your soul
Like a mad-ass recall
What the hell makes me fall
What the hell makes this happen
We searched from a land like dreams
To unearth these nightmare dreams
Dreams of old
A life that I should've had
Before it was sold out from under me
Don't sign your lines
Just marr my mind
The eyes just bulge
When the soul walks blind
Just cut my flesh
And press in with clean salt
Just scar my mind
Don't buy my allegiance
With obscene Arts
I buy into your sickness
I buy into your arts
I buy into your lines
You rip off my face
And melt my ears down and out
With my eyes like Sausers
Sometimes it's scary
You replace my face in the mirror
I can see you with my eye in the better life
I've seen you in this life with my failing eyesight
Now buy into my soul
Now fill out the void
With the blackness of your self
The lust of your soul
The eye of your evil
The dead mass of your soul
The heavy weight of your still fertile self
Gone on out
Got on out
Out back again
But the greedy eye
Wants to feed
This lust for your dead-end flesh
Much more than your body
Yet still within my sights
Yet still within my rights
Yet still burning
It's all outta-sights
Crazy cosmic universe
This universal curse of lust
And Bondage of soul
Bondage of self
My Soul-struggles against all deaths
To Die as I would wish
In my own style for my own Gods
But not his kinda plan
Not his better plan
Somewhere his master plans)
More like
Plan for a worser pain
From a shit hell place
Grinding me into dust
The muse
From the museum of Death somewhere
Probably a Waxwork somewhere in there
Shows up in time everywhere
Behind my living lines
Are his own
This flame
Spirit bulbs kinda blurring
Like a camera eye
Bulbs kept flashing against the flesh
Gets kinda blinding)
Urges for all kinds of pain
Coming alive
Weird shit we can't even name
Pain in so many shades
It's just nameless
This spirit lamp skull
Got in somehow
Never ceases to burn
No pain in hell can kill the pain in heaven
No pain in heaven can kill the pain in hell
No force on earth can move this curse
No force on earth can unlock this chain of just like worldly lust
This curse of unworldly death
Eating into my time of flesh
I hope to hope before my death
I get some other
Or just get free
Or marry an actual body with a soul
To know empty
Instead of overload
But all bets are down against me
To get free
Making it through
On a high and still alive!!
Making it through atall
Maybe one day
I'll take freedom as a right
Need no more fiX-ups
No more reasons
But not on this life
Nothing & noone
Can unlock me from true hurt
When the nightmare was so bad my memory just buried them
Lost them all
Sometimes evil is kinda like a sheild
Can uplift me-up when I'm too darn heavy
I'm dragging down with these weights
Fighting other Souls
Taking other tolls
Doors always slamming
Eyes and hands always turning
Locks and keys always sealing
Eyes in private often streaming
To see you again
To target like a man's eyes can
Locked-on like the eyes of a hawk
Locked-on like the crystal eye
To see from templates what I can
From doorways in my mind
To see from temptations-curse
Through the veil
And outside the web
Tantalising glimpses
Bits of your history
Glimpses of your soul maybe
Trying to see what I can catch with my own minds-eye
When my body has no access
When I have no life
No society
And my legs can't walk
And my mouth is just barred
And no words will work
When noone listens
And my tongue is all knots
When his cold brown eyes say no-way-in-hell
When his harder heart has no human notions
It's just packed full of hells
When he'd just brake my neck like a killswitch
And throw me down the stairs
I just go into denial
Spirits start burning on my bones to kill the pain
It's my mind that saves me cause it shapes it as I go along
But I'm only part blinded
Cannot see what others see
Cannot see how others see
Him or others I can just sense
Like a film I'm watching from far away
I use other senses
I have a minds eye
It means to re-run the only pictures that got made over & over
Ever trying to go-on-in in with the eyes slower
Trying to take stills of what's actually moving
To capture micro-impressions
Of his self unseen
His private soul so mean
Lurid & obscene
Not much to go on when society is so mean
To those seen as obscene & nasty
Not much given of that life
Not much stuff to read
Not much left out for the crows
Not made famous in this life
More infamous to those who know him then
Always looking perfect in our sight
So mean and obscene in living life
This living leech of a lie
Stupid torrid surplus runs over muck
Satanic prescriptions from the vicious house of suck
Trying to open out his soul like a book with pages
Can feel them all flitting past
Seeds of ages will bloom opium blooms
To stain more pages
Speed of light perceptions
Constant rotation of screens
The wheel moves along in triangles
Trying to catch what cannot be caught
Trying to find what cannot be sought
Trying to see what cannot be seen
Trying to move both heaven and earth
But it's just made from hell on earth
He is from scorched on earth
He is from a death-pile
Born on a shit-pile
Walks from an endless mile
King of a cruel hell
Now everysingle card is down
Because the will is there
To do this
To do him over and over
To know him
To triumph over all expectations
Of life and death
To bare through all pains known and unknown
Till the purest diehard fuel
The most bastard shit
Being ground on out
All that's left over by then
Whatever the shit is?!?
Or will be by the end
Bits of a metorite
Or sticky black tar
Or a pile of dust
Maybe a pile of old bones
Whatever element of earth left behind
Whatever the material is left then
Is burned down from there
To own him through feelers
To know of him
Through & through
To get a hold up & never let go
To squeeze it all out
To suck the spirit clean
And burn down the fires
Till the urges
Till the ages are all through
Till the urges are burned down to nothing but dust?!?
And my will is free
My mind a vacuum
All in black & white
Like a monochrome made heart
A real heart maker
A real heart breaker
A harder marker
A real modernist taker
Made from older under cultured styles
From other coveted styles
Nighttime viles
Moths of the night
Deathawks of the soul
He can be the tool
To take the blame
To be the God who never came
To soak-up the pain of life
To be this pain in life
Twisted-up limbs in this life
I'm sure if your tongue is off
To take the eye off the ball
To mark the ways of strange
And walk through the lands
Knowing there's a throne
And another eye out there
Even though I'm kept out alone
Kept punished & unwed
Ive still got the supergods eyes
I've seen how the human Gods style their thrones
Never to be humane
In Arts & Icons to the Gods of Death!!
I've seen the maddened prince inside his tower(s)
Where he talks to himself
From spirits most dire
Every brick is just a skull
That builds this tower from the nonebodys
Parts of once body's
Now just from the skulls
Some unknown face
From unknown place
All pulled out like teeth
And arranged all neat
Think he remembers them
On & off
Thought he talks to them
But he talks to others
Parts of himself
Like spirit mentors
Talking in tongues
Of spirit vessels
Who's rims run out over
Not to those he took
All dying from their screams
All floating in his dreams
Catching on his seams
Spinning from his wheels
Dying for his dreams
Still alive to know his power
But he's more like someone from a book
Pin up from a magaxine
My private muse
My perfect choice of ruse
To see this inner world better
I am still here yet
And just about
We use pain to shock us just to check were still alive
Surprised me more than my enemys did
Trying to get me gone
Living regardless of the worldly powers
His prowess is a power out through us
His bad power catches us
Trying to make good medicine out of a bad old God
So many surprises from his reign
Every time we think we're done
There's more
All in black & a real black marker
He's a real pace-maker
A real heart breaker
A real heart-ripper
Gonna put you through hell
Gonna put you on life support
Gonna still your heart
Till your turned into ice
Till you learn to think twice
Till your bones are all awkward and broken
Like his spirits have all spoken
Till Death this pain always and forever
Grinding on through
Till our crossed-out souls do part
Till the crossed out eyes don't speak
Till the dead dolls learn to walk
Always gonna want more pain
Always gonna need more control
Sometimes there is lust
Struggle with controls ends in pain
True Icons always cause crash collisions
Feels like a crash course
Too sudden too fast
Like a smashed in windscreen
Of my own stolen vision(s)
Never was a good dream maker
More a nightmare marker!!
A best or worse nightmare marker
He's the best of the worse
That's why we like him
See for yourself
Truss yourself up
Mess yourself up
Turn yourself over
Do you have the will
Do you know the wheel
To turn sweet over from what was once still) bitter
Coursing with confusions
Fighting off illusions
Making some madness out of intense visions
More pain than ever
Wanna try every angle
And work every triangle
A better style of image
A binding kind of icon
True icon of true evil)
A blinding kind of handsome
A binding kind of souless handsome
Makes me live out life under randsome
Live like I'm already a gonna
My eyes gone blind
Cause he's a real cold hard stunner
A real cord snapper
A cold hard non-starter
Can't turn over without a hot wire starter
Like I've waited forever
Like I've held on for longer
Like I live to Die+ better
My own page turner
Stung by salt & burned by fire
Pushed out by the darkness
Pushed back from the weirdness
Not liking it left out like that
Everything we want to know
Just driving us on
Made madder by hardwired icons
Strange kind of evil
Walking high up on the wire
(Won't come back for any less
Not now or for ever
Even if I pass right out
It'll never be over)
Cause the loop is feeding-on-through
Fucking endless
Did try to stay cut
Do try to stay back
To stay on out
But it just created a chill
And then war
As my self fights me to go back
Bad timeouts just leave us still stuck
And the stage is set
Could go right on through till the end?!?)
My Soul on a leash
Going round the bend
Only God knows how long I'll last
He knows me better than I know myself now
God has angels
He alone knows how it will end)
Some kind of jaw-braker
Some kind of law-breaker
Some cold page turner
Hard fist maker
Die hard blow-hard
Hard fist shaker
Some kind of coffin maker
Some kind of coffin starter
Gonna see life live/unlive
Got some views starker than stark
Darker than dark
Some kind of deal-breaker
A real ball-braker
A real heat maker
A real hard twister
A real heart pusher
Gonna fill you up with fire
Gonna yank out your beating heart and just laugh
Act like a deadbeat
A teenage joker
Got a infantile kind of humour
With a fertile sense of self
With an arrow for the centre
Walk mad in the wire
Feel higher than high
And lower than low
And deader than the dead
A hard & fast fiXer
This deadly kind of dread!!!
This deadly kind of denial!!
Can lead to your own earthly death
Just brainstorms your head!!!
Gonna blind out your eyes
And bind-up your mind
And tie up your limbs
Gonna short out your true sight
Soul-stealer straight-up ahead
Stealer God's
Gonna re-fiX your head
And re-wire your human heart
His evil eye just goes right on through you
To laugh at this world
Always looking for souls to lure on through
Got the eye of the needle
To pull you on through
It's a better shot
It's a bitter kind of plot
It's a harder kind of shot
It's a harder type of luck
A twister on the spot
Another gamble
From a born gambler
A shuffler of Souls
Or just another stumble
At not dieing
And not lieing to my God
Dieing and still living for my Gods
It's a better/bitter way of reaching my own Gods
It's a better way of dying to reach my own God
It's God trying to eat God until the end
Still held in deep confession
In chains of words
Kept bound to confession
Still born from this affliction
Holding fast while I see Sins+ held fast till obliviin
Is deadbound straight up ahead
Hoping to see the lights of oblivion soon)
Living alone to aid conservation
But the emotions are so high
Kept on blazing
God's get tricked on even now
Not knowing what's even out there so high now
Still so high but holding out
But I'm more grounded by his weight
I'm held on down by the earth of his soul
Held on by the weight of his bones
Baring down on me
Spirit against spirit
War against war
Snake against snake
Kept lower down I'm seeing him with other eyes
Still raging up inside
High on fire as the pages aging
Blood & ink are drying while the world is still staging
Acts of deception
Out in the open
Pages are still turning
Even in silence
Minds are absorbing
Only God's know what
Isn't spoken
Inside others
A life of separation
Kept intact through separation
Separated out from fantasy's
Protected from realitys
The ultimate conclusion is no contact
The restricted contract is limited contact)
The best contract is the lies like the truth
Which make the pages turn by themselves
Words like a wind
Words like a web
Like a web over my eyes
Making my fingers turn loops
No contract
No chains
Just freedom)
Just freedom from illusions of granduer
The pain overtakes the glamour
Glamour & Art overtake the pain
Lust pushes back against those insane
And burns away at the lines
Visions tell of lies
Lies tell of visions
But the truth shows up as stillness
Then the images show me up as knowing violence)
Crazy God's show-up like liars
God's of evil
Snakes like liars
Bad history kept separated out from art
Art kept apart from bad history's
The deepest Soul
Still full-up of mysterys
Like I've never even started
I see a better part
I see a better past
Which is just an illusion
To stay intact I've seperated
I've segregated out & that's a hard fact
Not knowing what was before that now
I still have the middle
That's were the begining started
Though the ends just fall apart
At the edges
Story's getting buried
Story's getting burned
Before they can be born
Though my web of lives
Though my web of lies
The breeze of words
The lace made of words
Web over my face
Always a gamble
And that's a hard line factor
For a cleaner kind of pain
For a better kind of act
From a top on top
To find a better drop down
To avoid bad side effects
A partial brake down
Mind splitting apart
Self splitting from self
When the rope is thining
When the spirit isn't strong enough from self
self-acceptance like a tonic
So hard to get right
Still got remaining strength
Still got some will to fight)
Always try to win
They've fixed it up to lose
I know for sure)
They'd drag me down
And drag me under
Without even knowing I'm there)
Ground under the wheels
Dead and unseen
To go harder for longer
To hold onto the frame
Before it slips from under
Tie your mind down
And turn your coin over
Crystal focus
Like a hawks claw still holding on to a target even when dead
Don't let go
Don't mind the pain
Don't turn up the pain
Just look for his eyes
To hang-on for longer
The Soul turns more elastic
Mask gets thicker
Soul more bombastic
Some kinds of pain can turn estatic
Some kind of agony's gets fantastic
Some kind of visions got turned up perfect
With a main-line fiXer
A vein-through-bleeder
Turned up with blue veins
A Hot/cold stunner
The minds a real burner
Sucks my breath right out
It's a darker Summer
That burns up faster
When the lies/lines get set out better
I'm strung up like fairy lights
Down on a hook
Bleeding slowly from the line
And heading for the noose
Got myself another life
Got myself another line
Buy myself another time
Go ahead & lose a life!!
Go on live through a living lie
Go on live through a living hell show on earth
Yet knowing it's not real enough
For others to believe you
For half a chance
Of taking this all on
For half a chance
Of taking this all in
Slowly but surely the bonds built up
Like his bones build us up
The aspects unfold
The story's still untold
Of taking-of tasting -that
all- testing-kind of pain
Of another spirit taking hold
Or a character profile turning up bold
Or a person's character showing up all twisted
Of a person's aspects all the rage
Any image can take hold
And hold me down
Or hold me back
Till it's been tested
Testing me
Till I've got the knack
Till I'm ready to see more
Given up some lines
Till it's been tasted
And I've been bested
When confessions have been wrested
When I've suffered some more to unlock
Out from under
When my pants have been vested
And given me some rest
He's a real bad looker
He's a real better looking liar
For a funeral style guy
Too pale to be holding on much
Not much hope
In this life
Not much life left
Turned over to Death
Not much hope & too much lust
Real large he just towers
Laid out on steel stone cold
Peace fills my mind
Strange beyond beleif
I'd love to see him mine
And down on ice
From dubious capacitys
From no need for morality's
His soul as strong as eternitys
From a Deadborn candle maker
From far away
His soul is so thick
Crystal so clouded
So clouded
So engorged in energys
Primative strengths
He grows like larger snakes
Sneaking off real slow cause he's so heavy
He was the fertility God before he got rotten passes
His senses go so slow
Like a ghoul his barren visage
(Something goddess from the past brings feelings of older securitys
A spirit avatar who knew him from before
Not yet remembered?!?)
Old enough to mystify totally but not actually old
Kinda ageless
Kinda deathless
Live forever like that
Keep us breathless
Not old enough to die but his flesh feels strong & timeless
How long has he been there like that?!?
Just a bit grizzly in his mind
His flesh just amazes
Cause the walking dead
Leave you blinded!!
To this spirit-of-flesh our souls are binded
Cause a Dead-ghoul needs a spirit vessel
Some kind of body
Flesh of the Gods
That image
Close up
Looking there older then than the others
Bit of a shock as the familiar
Acts as a begining
A starting point over & over again
Each time-exact same place again!!!
But not our first image that was much younger before
That was just a mind-tease
From someone who sold on dreams
Who lied on screen
Who filled up our screen
With substance made from dreams
Making him look heroic
Youthful and erotical
Not like an older-gaurd
Fantastical and we'll girded
He fills out the screen closer up
Before he was behind this life)
But like butterfly's taking off wings
It flits away from my mind before
It grinds on in to my senses
Sensing all these unseen pages
Flickers like a hundred ages
Seen him known him before
So totally sure-im sure
That it's realer than real
His Soul is the swimmer
It swims around me
It sucks and floats around me
Then it's like reading braille
Cause I'm seeing through touch
My eyes are so weak
But I'm feeling out to him
I'm filling out on his Soul again so thick with life
Like he seeks to live as a story through us
To live as a glory through us
As we give him a way to live on
He gives us a private place to go Die-down
He gives us death as spirits
Parts of others lives in other places
And therefore we are united in God's
We are made more whole
We are made more strong
Noones that familiar without recognition
How can a mind touch an eye
And make a up a fire
An eye has a storm
A storm of fire around the eye
An eye that sees and hears icons of humans
An eye that feasts upon human Arts
And a crystal
Which knows the human heart
An eye that touches upon flesh
The flesh just binds the living
Flesh to flesh
And then touches the soul
That then sets up an altar of devotion
An altar of deviation
An altar of salvations
An altar of Damnations
An altar bound to Death+
Surer cognition super-mind in play
Super play on minds
The minds of the eye
The Soul knows before the world is ever written
The soul knows the words before they are ever written
Our spirits have known him
& knew of him before the sudden collision ever happened
No-one from nowhere
Noone can just suddenly appear
From out of nowhere
As if he always had a place
As if he always had a space in us
And take their righted place
Just like that!!
From out of nowhere-never written
Is out of everywhere-everwritten
As if he's got the right
As if it's just a right to bleed through
To just burn on through
To just cut on through
As if a contract just gets written on through
Like a world always kept behind?!?
Push him away
And the will just fights
Shadow & light just converge
Try to kill the flame
And still the bleed
Never want to know his seed
Never want to hear this need
Be complicit through these deeds
Living for these words
Dying for these works
Shutting out my God for his needs
Try to push him back
Now I'm trying to push back the world
Trying to push back the word
Like God has a say in this
Try to put him back to black
Back into the unknown
Unknown darkness
A place we never knew
Like it's a gift from the curse-gods
Like a gift from the hearse-gods
Before the emergence
Before the convergence
Before this character-profile ever got given
Before the life ever got given
Before the creations ever got driven
His Soul just pushed-on-in
Or we pulled him on out
Like a rabbit from a hat
There is room for his soul
Like branches of a tree
To grow on us
To grow through us
To show through us
Feels so much better know we know him
Full of mystical creations
Cut from God's left stations
Feels so much worse when we try to just go away from him
Try to seperate the cords
But the light just dims
My soul is just screaming
Cause I'm scared of just dying
My soul just sings to know him near
Just drawn to this soul
Just sucked in like a ghost to this soul
Sucked in like a bigger breath
Without this sudden chance
This wild card of the day
Taking on trust that music will heal us thus
We didn't live to know this day
To know of him
To grow to want to own him
Maybe never live to know this day
We may never have known it
Sudden suprise from what escaped us in the past
Sudden passage of desires
Flooded on past
Supposed to be kept from us unknown?!?
But the glimpses are not slowing down
Can't capture the stages/ages from before
Educated soul knowing it's hidden inside there
Seeing him it's like doors opening up all around me
The books of his Soul tantalising for sure
Burning me with hidden memorys
Pleasures of the past)
Terrible memorys of the past
Pain & pleasure are like hidden ectasys darting suddenly & then flitting away
Like butterfly's taking wing before I've grasped them
Pages spinning in my mind
I've touched his soul
Feel it for sure
Cause it just throbs full of life before my eyes
I am rising/riding with the eye
And then goes dead out cold
Smacks right down
I am falling out below
Smacks out on the stone
Gonna live and die from this hidden violence
Life now has edges
And silence now has time
From each and every death I've laid out my lines
Like the lense just isn't there as a barrier
Like I'm stood right there in front of him
Like I could sick him right through the lense
Like a spirit dancing on my tongue
And suck his spirit inside
To eat this glob of light
Spirits from the night
Maybe stealing from his thoughts
Sucking from his life
Such short glimpses my soul is just aching to get inside
I've tasted his souls urges
Seen him from the edges
A stronger Soul will take me inside him more
But it costs me
More than I can calculate
More than I can know
To touch on evil
To see of evil
Everything I have
What I know & don't know yet
Paining me from all angles
Don't want my Soul all in tangles
Trying from all angles
His mind has some dubious ticks
His eye has some evil-ass-shit
His marker is a Darker-trick
Full basket of evil tricks
A black haired goodnight from
A coffin barer
He'd fuck you right outta this life)
Didn't get any better
What a Soul-buster
From a bader God on another mind
gone on lower from an evil mind
Who's gone down lower stratas
Made from the loco-mind I've just gone
And gone-on-up-higher
Where all artists go
To try to seek the word
To try to heal the spirit
Out from the world's of men
Away from the liar
To find a better way with words
To seek a better world

Some kind of God-forsaker
Some kind of heart-formentor
Got a dead man's heart in the middle
Got a chain made of steel round the block
Quite shocking the acts I could clock
Can't really know of it
Can't really care
He's not made as mine to keep
Not made as mine to know in this life
Or mine to care
But regardless of rights & wrongs
Some kind of pain is just too right
From some side of Hell)
Got a blood-soaked sizzler
Makes like a riddler
Always a real puzzler
When he's up in his towers
Can't easy read up on his Soul)
Knows he's drunk on powers
And talking to himself of madness
Easy to lose-out on having control
Get distorted & end up stuck out in hell)
Only pure will can bring it all back!!
Lust is the other begining
Bringing it all back to ground
Gonna soak myself in style
Gonna lose myself in this life
Gonna pray out for Holy-Mothers grace
Cross out to the other side
All bad-ends point to this compass
All kind of tamperings of the Soul
Can cut the mustard
And ring the changes
Couldn't call out this truer Bastard
It's hard to negotiate in chains & shackles
It's hard to judge when your soul gets tackled
I'm all-in when I'm all out of this shit-pit
This life like a shit-lie-circle
Can't free me from this pain
This shit kind of leaning
I want to cut on through
Cut through the lines
To see right through
Cut like a sword
But I'm kept back inline
Kept in cages of self-portraits
When I wanted best photos
A betrayal of reality
A slice of a colder society
To try to survive)
A life we can never know
Places we can never go
Flesh in hand
This seed well never sew
Never gonna walk out on this challenge
Don't know how to end it
Hardwired to these short-curcuits
this standard of purest-pain
You just gotta know it
Before all-life is gone
And the fear goes blind
Self-doupht can warp the templates
Like frames melting
When the targets/templates should last all the ages)
His Soul almost throbs with strength
Trying to make the pages
Trying to meet my eyes
It's a real bad-pain
It's a real strong key-in
Can cut you down hard
Seeing my avatars cutting back in
The Soul I had vecated gone back into its shell-form
When everyone's else's gone deaf
And no-one can see him any better
Than I know him myself
From all the lurid flowerings-
flowings out of spirits
I steal their images
They steal my mind
From what my eyes can see
For what they give
They steal my imaginations
Which run out riot
Like a thread on a spool pulling out
Colours keep on changing
No way out once the key is turned
(Without taking the pain baring it right
The keys cannot work)
When I fall harder
When I try harder
And bleed on longer
I've held out for longer
Trying to get it right
Trying to find a better reason not to die
Or just a better way to die
A better style to death
To fight a better fight
To find a better life
But I'm always pulled in to the bitter ways of men
Because the bitter poison kept me from a worser hell
(Before I could remember the worst
The shit-pits from hell I can still remember
It makes some older sense to the memorys
What before was just a horrid mess
But not to society
Society in a non-beleiver
Never a her
Only a hero
Never from a bitch
Never from a witch
Never get a stlnitch from a broken down bitch
Or a row of stitches
Always from angels
Never killed off by a snitch
What do they know
Of places in hell where some kids try to grow) SP/M/T
Useless when I'm left alone anywayz
FiXated on the death-barers
Trawling on back
Falling on back
It's gotten so hard to take
I've got some bader-tastes
To trial me
To try me in this life!!
Trying to live without making the profiles
Have another life
Life comes in blinding
Life comes in binding)
Life comes in like a killing
I'd rather hang on his rope
Or die on his hook
Than just slip away
Than be totally blind
(Other factors are a worser deat
There are worser places in life
Kept in hell
Where children's brains just kept on the boil
Where I don't get to even come back again
Never again
She's dead to us
And always it was that way) SP/M
I brace myself
Till my soul can turn itself back around
It's just a tool that's all it is
He's just a tester
he's just a known terror
for my own self-knowledge)
It takes it all
To bare this shit
Makes it takes it to my unfeeling Gods
Just to find the right plug-in
The right plug-out
Life & death hanging in the balance
Can't lose this life
Tried too many times already
Just lose your mind
Or lose a soul
Life on style-Death on style
Gotta be right
Or it just knocks out my lights)
Without a bitter master
I just give-in to this cruel life
Where death is seeking all around
Where death is just creeping all about
I wanna just cave-in
No longer fight off a worser death
Let's the maggots crawl in
Have there way
Or keep them out?!?
The mind just splits apart
Like a skull in two peices
Upper & lower come apart
Diverging yes & no
Going into two lives
This is my own unseen pill
Like a stalker alone in life
Left without true choices
Left with two chances
From some starker choices
No-one wants to be morbid
Trapped in a death-zone
Lured to the bone players
The Soul slayers
Those who live from hatefull tomes
Those who are outside of society for good reasons
Taking my own medicines
This is my own pill
If it was in boxes I'd get through lots
If they were like pop-throughs I'd lose track of how many I've popped
Made from my own spirits
Spirit lamps sing out in the dark below
The bitterest pill in life
The necessary evil
Some bitter potions?!?
I'd rather taste poisons
Than face the original destroyer
She's been overlaid with others
She'll never get back through
We can use others sheilds
Strangers souls will push her back out
Like pop-outs the tools are my invisible pills
My tools fo survival
Some stranger reactions
To different souls
To other cultures
Can't find my markers
Without a better master
Can't meet my maker
Without this pain coming on through
Stifle it
And I'm self-stifled
Now I'm self-stifled
The pain is next to this life
Coming in from the centre
Go on deadened for so long
Feeling thinking knowing nothing
Just dead-on-out
Lurking on out
Here but not here
Seen but not seen
Here but not sure
So numb to the heart
So blocked from this life nothing left to fight
Down so soon
No reason to try harder
His hard-ass-ways
Will eat away at all my slack
Need more strength
Every time I'm going on-out
Stuck on the same channels
Sucked through a funnel
Sucked right back on-in
Feels so much better
Till I freak-out forever
At what I shouldn't have seen
These black channels?!?
Making bad-progress
Every act of will is a digress
So hard to digest this life
It makes me puke-up
And fall-on-out
A lifeless life-like void
Where my life should be set up
Looking right
Nothing on tap
Nothing on tape
All tapped-out
All focus crushed
All focus crashed
Trying so hard
To will myself back on in
Icons of evil
Masters gone out black
To bring myself back
To will myself back into life
Back on track
From the heretic-souls
That steal all my imagineings..... 💀




DUMB & DUMBER } (VP/M TP) πŸ’€β€οΈ

15:45 Jul 20 2022
Times Read: 833


Never gonna know why
I have to answer the call
Of nature made angry at my birth
Live life like an endless loop
Get caught on a jagged edge wheel
Yet again
Memorys playing weird ass tricks
Mind turning like a roasting spit
Memorys playing sick
Not counting out right
Unable to reach the lights
Being protected by the highs
Sucked on down too low without the highs
Left too black too warm without the colder lights
To hold the frame
Cannot hold the pain down
Without the flame
Nature's playing on blind
Sadists playing with binds
Pain that should no longer matter
Blinded & more blinder
Never caught the rope
Or found the keys
Or turned the key in the door
Been down
And I've been dumb
Believing in shit
Without checking
Not knowing what matters most
Taught to be obedient from the very start
Been seeing with eyes
But without understanding
Society lead by traps
Kings made out of the hunters
Been dumb for sure
Now even dumber
From another era
From an older burner
Marrs me
Blinds me from the start
Lies I just believed as truth
Till a better allowance
Till the books I read just tore me apart
My scars set me apart
Made me see the better start
That could've been
I'd never had been broken-in
If I'd known back then
Can't start back over
Now I know it was hidden from the start
I see I've played my part
Sucks out my minds sense
To turn up with nonsense patterns
Memorys are counting out sticks
The faster to burn me with
Rolling out blame
Pray to separate us out again
Too close is a killer
Separate us God
Back into the 2 sides
From God's & Satan
Try to rewire my guts
Full of wires and plugs all tangled around
Like a climber on a rope that slipped
Just left hanging out badly
Can't get back down safely
Or climb back up
Cold Wind is just freezing me out
Now I love you madly
When my life's gone sadly
It's a hazard in your mind
Where I go trip up
Full of dirty webs in my mind
Left alone with the darkness pulling along behind
Chains of all this stupid ass shit
Clank along behind
Been feeling like shit so many times
Distorted in my reality(s)
Grinding away underneath
So off kilter
Like a turning top spinning out
Sick of turning
Want to freeze out still
Feel dizzy from the sick
Trying to stay upright
Script upon script
Trip upon trip
Trap against trap
Song against song
Trying to work it out
Trying to use my will
To change the song
Keeping at a distance
For so long
Doing my bit
Being rational as expected
(But hidden away my soul is full of hell's
You never guessed it but come inside one day & you'll soon see
Hell is for two not just for one)
Not just for me
The right way
Staying silent as eXpected
Could cut the tension with thunder
To clean out the air of menance
Rather cut you with a knife
Hearing you scream would be better than the dumb silence
I'd rather hear some hate
Than be a victim to this pregnant silence
I'd rather be a dumb bitch
Than play your stupid ways
Your stupid works
Are like a broken wheel
No real words still get spoken
But you live inside my mind
Much too real
Why your still in there?!?
Were you ever invited inside
I'm the masochist just trapped on the outside
Or I'm just so crazy too long outside it?!?
Till I'm stronger
Then your out
Too much left undone
Freakin so fucked up
Your like a curse I want you out
Your like a spider in a web
Like a spider in my head
Your living inside my head
When you should be out
Outside of me
Outside of everyone
Staying out on ice
Alone with the weird ass pains running wild
While time stays frozen
Life isn't righted anymore
I've done my time
Surviving in the deserts of life
My roses turning to stone
Then the stones cracking up and crumbling
From too much neglect
Phases out of phase
Time outta time
Snake eating its own flesh
Without you caring
Without your touch
Without your reasons
All given up to others
Sense & sensibiltys
All just too convieniant
Life without sense
Is a dulled out memory
Just half of a life
Checking it's not just some dumb & dumber phase
Like it's been a weaknes
For how long
Gets hard to truly tell
too soon to remember?!?
Too long to forget
When a lifetimes been far too long already
( I sense the background story is just as long
Story's will get written if I stay out strong
If I pull away from murder I might live that long)
Of I live that long
I'll know a murder
And have to still just carry on
Times just on the ground & crawling along
I've been down & dumped on out
I've been up & helped on out
But not for long
Pleasure marred by pain
Married to the pain
It's so much more reliable
I can switch off out
Till it all tolls rolls on back
Then I know my body still works
I'm still alive on some level
And life marred by poisons detours
When the mind is too mean to make sense
Of anyone's emotions
Or give endings a proper timeing
Just a broken record to my songs
Doesn't dull the memorys
Not for long
In daily life I'm settled to my unjust fate
Rattling chains of inner rage
Black fires of sustain
So angry at being alone
So angry that you lied
Even when left out alone you lie to man in the mirror
Talking to Satan
But not talking to me
A person who knows you
Someone who loves you!!
Just lying to everyone
Lying to God
For some shit reason
Some unkind reasoning
Crueltys for all the seasons
Reasons for no real reason
Won't ever get permission
Won't ever get confession
Won't ever get approval
Just a load of backlog
And silence turning black
My own black heart turning back
Forgetting where it's going
Not knowing where it's been
Wheel of life turning on back
Time & tide heading in black
When the tide won't turn in my favour
Sea of memorys just left floating
Flirting with death without consolation
Flirting with Death till it's a reservation
Become just a backlog in my soul
Even more shit piling up
Karmic gutters getting clogged
So much pain without meaning
So much blood without bleeding
So much eyes without seeing
So much will without actions
Time just keeps on marching on
So many old secrets just keep on seeping
Bad closets full of keeping
Bad old wounds keep on bleeding
Seams like songs
Means everything so keep on ripping
So much turning without seeking
Seeking clarity(s)
God will never send truer endings
A better life
A hidden reason
The conclusion to this Passion play
Wasted endings on wasted lives
Wasted death on a wasted life
Or why it just endures from life to life
From time upon time
From lie to lie
From day to day
From soul to soul
pain is on a wheel
On my knees up until then
No more questions till then
Not able to chose
Until the pain goes right on down
Too a tiny flame
And it never ceases to grind
Grinding me on down
Turning me out from the life I've had
Tipping me out of my seat in life
Making me headsick
From the visions
That keep on streaming in
Have to draw back
To try fade you out to the back
But I think your poisons already in my blood?!?
All my life I've been aiming for better
All your time
You've been twisted & bitter)
Trying not to be a quitter
All my life you've been complaining
About what I am
Hatefull spitefull lust filled bitter
Pointing me out
Like some kind of monster
It it who I am?!?
That marks this fate
That signals all your hates
Have tried to be better
But I'm still one foot near from the gutter
And one foot away from the pathology table
That one field far from being lost with the worms
And still from that kind of a mother
Born as some other
It's the life of the ghetto
It's those that dont matter
But why do you care
If I'd been a man could you hate me better?!?
Never good in your eyes
Never God
Been good to you
But you don't care
You like your girls bad anywayz
Never good on your end
But I'm not changing much either!!
Always the bitter endings
Dragging us down
Not the better parts
Because you have to pass judgement(s)
A lifetime of judgements
That never ends
You recycle hate & lust
Like I've recycled hope & pain
To excuse sadistic profiles
To excuse scars
Miles upon miles of bad deeds
Bad deeds
Crooked smiles
Below the deceptions
Kill off all my conceptions
Better ideas plans perceptions
All laid out to waste!!.
Because in your eyes I'm just another
Just another target
Burned out from the chase
When I should just be still
All just wasted
I should've just cut off from the phases
I've lost my life in places
I've never been seen
Accuser to my case
Accursed to my fate
Stopping the wheel from turning
Gonna turn back in my favours
Always suckered back in
To doing your will again
To knowing you again
How can being a stranger be this hard?!?
We know you must be gone
And coming back around you again
Till I'm sick of myself
Sick of trying
Sick of turning
Want to smash the chains
When I'd rather brake the chain
And take on off
While I've been sustaining
Hanging on lifelines
You've been thriving
Living off-of lying
You've been blaming
And thriving off hate
Maybe you've got it wrong
But you don't care anyway
Gates of life are closed on me
Always from the shame
Thinking everything left alive is yours
Thinking anything I've saved it just yours to crush down
Always kinda like a brake down
Misfunction of the memory
Mines too strong
Yours is too weak
Both brains miscalculate life
Both brains get each other wrong
I chose to fight
While you just drift along
No-one should care about those no longer caring
Those who have distain for all life
Those never built for sharing in this life)
Trying too hard
Trying to capture time itself
Aspects of time
Till all circuits just go overload
Trying to capture lust & desire
But bitterness & hate turn it into a dark swamp
Too bloody soon
Good images get lost in the mire
Of story's partly captured
Partly unwritten
Popping-up unbidden
Peices of memorys like torn up pages
Images marr my mind
Like desires long left forbidden
Dark & tacky
DaRk & sticky before I catch my mind from thinking
Before I stop my mind from turning
It keeps on rolling
Keeps on turning
Turning over the ground
Looking for better memories
Or just bitter enemy's that have solutions?!?
My brain says there's a problem
But my Soul is off sync
My Soul is off sick
Before I get the lines written down
The pains are just not setting in right
Everything is off alighnments
I had all these lines I write in
But the pen keeps on slipping on out)
Guess you want to marr my mind?!?
And scar my memory bank
Your nobody's friend
Or even would be that?!?
Just minister to the daRk
Gotta feel bad that I've know you ever
Gotta feel sad that I can't even know you yet
Because the short-time just came & went
I'm sick of watching myself being stuck
And turning over like a record
Needles took on the scratch stuck deep in this groove
Too many questions with no answers
Too many answers with no questions
To many reasons without reasoning
Scary how off end im ending up
Stolen cup
Bitter chalice for too many ends
Too many seasons without end
It's never gonna end
Even Death won't bring salvation
Better words would make a better situation
I know your lies are seeping in
Your dead body won't get this spirit shadow off me yet
Try to seek a solution
To sustain a resolution
Too much pain without an end
Just a respite till the next call-up
God wants me to empty out my closet
And split out my spleen
Spill out my guts
And empty out my mind
Take the deeper cuts
If I had seed too he'd have that all emptied out
God knows what shit I've got stuck with?!?
You always get back in
But I let you get back in
Walls not stronger yet
Your still not a true-stranger yet
Shit memorys impair the test
I'm not cold enough yet
Too push you right back
Just feels so bad all stuck within me
Like I'm glued to myself
Never look good in you
Or look good on you
Or look right anyhow
Dark was sucking out the light
All this shit ends up on me
You end up with your own lizard king
Or a two forked tongue with a troublesome eye
You end up down & out
Holding onto the ledge
The edge of sanity
Fingernails crumbling
Lungs all burning
Got coffins in his eyes
And hate like a fire in his funeral heart
Funeral pyres through the powers of the mind
An unended state
A badder mind)
Just stuck on a loop
And the nails all rattling in my mind
Like God has the hammers
The begining of the/this end
All over again
Know you need me hanging on
You like me clinging on
Bleeding all along the parapit
Stung by the cold winds of treachery
Know my eyes keep on roving
Seeking throughout the ages
Like trying to reach god's own air
With a coffin lid down
And no way out
No way to protest against the fate
Only tongue full of nails just hanging on out)
Know I'm hanging on too fast
But countering too slow
Holding on for too long
Know it's causing Death to come back around)
Know I'm down & out
Know you wanna kick me down
Know you'd kick me out
Split my lip
And heave me out
Burning me on down hard
And burning me out
Trying to hate didn't last long
Trying to love didn't last
Trying to just split didn't last
Trying to remember the important threads
They all ended up cut-yet again
As you marr my true memorys
End up distorted by your ill-read lines
Just tangled up in webs
Like a fly wrapped up in silk
Waiting for the fangs to drain it all out
Know you want me giving up
And losing out
Lunching out & falling around
Giving up on life itself
Every time I'm turning myself back around
Like a ship that ran aground
Don't want to tare-up my bases
Just need this pain in paces
Every time I'm tired of being tired
And sick of being sick
You turn me back around again
Like it's all shame
Terminally insane
Always insensitive
While I'm too curious
Always mal-ajusted through you
You just like sickness better than health
You breed my bitternes
You breed your own stealth
Always the stronger one
Cut from the meaner cloth
Always the wrong one
I chose without real choice
I know your the wronger one
Never meant for such as me
But still I'm tripped-up
All over again
And I'm tangled all around again
Gasping for air
Searching for the keys
Trying to get out from under
Trying to bypass the angry god's thunder
Got glued back into the web(s) again
By your sticky mean minded self
Drawing me back to bad places
Drawing me back to bad spaces
Nowhere that I needed to be
Better off out in the desert
Sucked out by the sand & sun
Waning away from the blinding heat
Than dangling out
Hanging out like a corpse
Just waiting to get back in
To come on back inside myself
No-one wants to lose themselves
Or leave behind parts of themselves back in hell
I feel they've found "the one" when really its just images from some kind
Of place most folks would call Hell
The Soul-reapers damned domain
Evil liars live off others pain......💀❤️




πŸ’€πŸŒΉ THE HUNGRY EYE} (DK/M TP) Added to July 12th) πŸ’€

03:56 Jul 04 2022
Times Read: 867


Everything that I have is real
I tell you that for sure
I feel it so strongly
But as it comes and goes
As it's clear
And then clouded
How can I even know
Maybe it's just nothing
But just my own illusions eating through my mind?!?
Like maggots chomping through flesh
Kept restless & turning
My thoughts get restless
My thoughts are playing with themselves
Turning over & over
Like a crocodile churning
My own Demons seducing me to want to fall?!?
Everything that I feel I have is real
At least once in the timeshot
At least once in the clipshot)
Realer than reality itself
So much better through the veil
It cuts through my mind like a sure sword
Like cold words
Cooling like cold metal
While the flesh burns like fire
At least once in a timeframe)
But never really real
I see what others won't see
They won't believe what my eye knows is a living thing
Mad spirits let lose
Lustfull eyes eating out the eyes of the world
Knawing at the roots of life
Knowing of all life
But what is real now?!?
Not what we believed in once
What once made sense is from the Vampires of the soul
The Soul changers
The Soul shapers
Tampering unseen
Behind the scenes
The mothering
The smothering of life & death
Now I can see what was unseen
Where everything is made of dreams
Sluiced through with moonlight
And turned by vampire souls
Who make life slippy
And now made from mirages
Sucked out from hidden souls
It's been torn
The picture holding just near torn in half
It's been warped it's been turned
It's been like a dead worm turning over in the soils so cold
All truths & all lies untold?!?
As the wicked way of tampering goes on untold
But real enough to serve my wasted Souls purposes
To seek me out
And to drive the masters purpose
Wasted waning
Unable to walk talk feel touch speak
Can't leave the room
Can't leave the cell
Unable to reach out
Unable to speak out
My tiny world is shrunken right down
My life is dim
Time is empty
Just drips away wasted
But this eye
The special eye
Will come & set me free
Steel has no key
But the crystal ball & the eye are a Key
It watches like a hawk
The eye has a will of its own
And hungers for this world
And can see all around
It can see inside of me
It knows me more than I know of myself
My true time keeper
Wings ways outside of this world
It's always been there
To know the world(s)
To leave this prison of steel
Cage of metal steel & stone
All I have is the power of the eye
And then gone again
And then pain again
Called back again
Pain has to be real
When it comes down this hard?!?
Coming back in is crushing with bone pains
My flesh no longer just my own
Because spirits has loosed it
Lined it out
Shook it's shell
To give gifts most profane
And bizzare
Out in the world that I am forbidden to know of)
And lust is a driver
A distraction
A bad pain to try to lose
A bad need to try to lose
When the eye wants feeding
I try to lose these spirits who listen to my mind
And flicker images of emotive content
It knows my contexts
My private weakness
Or my spirit strength?!?
I have no will in life to be in chains of society
But my flesh burns
Behind the iron grille
And they feed off my weakend self
Opening the doors to my body
Where my Souls purpose quietly leeks out
The love that can't get out)
Until my flesh clenches
Weaken my mind's eyes
Till they see what's unseen
Maybe real elsewhere?!?
Driven from the mundane
Locked away
Solitary confusion
Naked isolation
Part desolation
Part desperation
Till dreams quicken my soul
This Soul turning Ghosting
Soul is thinning down
Getting weak
From hungers angers
Illogical logics
Useless faith
Gets overturned
In anger(s)
God won't heed my calls
Or know my hunger(s)
Hunger is blind
And Sin is just naked hungers
Naked angers at God
For leaving me alone
Born into a life of sin
Left alone to rot unseen
And I am naked to this eye that sees inside me?!?
Tilted turned by the eye
Towards distractions
By wanting to serve strangers
Who don't feel like strangers anymore
Profound urges
Of profane stupiditys
Blunted realitys
Painfull exposures
Stupid designs
Stupid desires
Stupid dangers
Danger of death
Just for fleeting pleasures
Of the spirit
Escaping through the body
Over riding the minds locks
Spirits slipping out underneath doors
That locks cannot hold
A crystal ball
Like a hawk
Has an eye
Like an eye but not like another eye
A Darkened eye
And it saw this world
From far away world's
Of men unknown
And the eye grew itself strength just from images
Pictures and sounds
From afar
Like a growing living thing
It captures dreams
And senses the Dark Souls of some men
And the eye sees the forms
Strange cultures
Strange ways
Strange symbols
Burned into flesh
Winking at the spirits
Clues to the keys
Signs of a man's powers?!?
Who see etches symbols on men's bodys
The flesh of men
And the wonders behold it
And the terrors
The tares
The errors in their Souls
Kept enwrapped
In the fear so raw
And lust of what is unknown
Meant to be signed & sealed from us?!?
The world of media(s)
Makes the dead still look living
Scars my Soul
Even though it is inert
It has powers over the living
Over all the ages
Stages of man
Beheld once again
And the images may be old
Displaced now
The scene is now gone
Maybe no more words
No more works are now made in them?!?
But the image can never die
Even if the flesh should leave either
Even if the body fades away
The eye has sucked out the life already prepared before
Sure of its will to see
It's will to live
Sucked on the essence
Sucked out the lights
Inside of its self it's sucked in the darkness
Inside the man's Soul
Clipshots of his madness
And it throbs it grows
It has dark pulses
And the darkness spins around the centre
And darkness moves inside like snakes
As it sucks in desires & designs
It sucks on images
That it likes
It loves & hates
It lives & dies
From perfections in its visions
And it sucks draws in to the dark eye
Energy's it to its core
It sucks on pictures
Sounds images
Profound & profanes
Sucking on flesh from far away
Dreaming of men
Like tentacles it can touch
Spirit feel
The aspects of self
And from spirit of what it can sense
It retains time
Moments hours days
And it eats them
Absorbs stuff
It eats images as if living flesh
And it grows there life
Holds on to memorys
Like a hidden bank
Taken wings that it can never grow
Because it is only an eye on the world(s) of men
Not knowing the words of men
It wants to speak of what it's known
And touch their skin
See their eyes my closer
But knows the spirits of evil men will contort them
Make them speak of lies
And lies will burn the eye
And pain turns the eye from black to white
Because they can't see what it sees
Or know what it knows of
Those times are gone
And those doors are closed
Now gangland rules the streets
Ages of sages are gone
They never cried out like us
Because those souls are born-dead
Kept bound to the land of the dead
Flesh and soul never known of other Gods
They know no light
It feels a man's Soul even in darkness it can see
Sense energys
It feeds off a man's Soul
Senses what's underneath
Knows one from another
Soul signatures
Of men who boil-over with twisted spirits
Talking in tongues as the cup overflows
Likes the energy's
Even if the human psyche retches
And the human soul distorts with pain(s)
The human mind caves in too soon but
The eye stays strong)
From the evils living off of men
With a crystal ball to freeze the eye
With an axe at hand in case of evils)
And a bag of salt
Like the burning pain of ice
And an eye alone
An eye alone in the world
Yet it been around
Yet it yearns to live
To taste the lips of men
Though it can't be seen
So through seeing through human eyes
For those who have the sense of it
Those who can feel that eye
And not the other eyes
The eye has even more life
A soul can find life through this eye
Even though if found
The living would be killed
Without mercys
Those who keep this eye alive
Would find Death quickly
In a world duty bound by hate
But everything is stolen
All hours away are just borrowed
Burrowed inside I've made time better
Made time bitter
I've lived & died through the power of the eye
And been hated & feared
For trying to use the eye in this world
Just for wanting to see
And my desires belie my beleifs
With the morbid need to know
What's better not known
Lie to me as I've lied to myself
Not knowing what's real or unreal
Clean or unclean
Mine or just others
Stolen or borrowed
All hungery wolves will steal to eat)
Just borrowed quietly
Or outright fought for?!?
How far would I go
To steal back some of what maybe already mine?!?
Because seeing others Sins+
Others souls so far from mine
Some Souls I long to taste as they taste
See as they see
Lust as they Lust+
Die as they Die
Never mine kept so far away
Because they are forbidden to us
They live in towers
Full of madness they speak to spirits
Cast out by sane society
They are insane
Possessed by aspects of self love
So strange so distorted
Possessed by evil spirits
Unclean tongues
Bad eyes
Snakes in their eyes
See the world t9o darkly
Too starkly
Without faith
They are too close to madness itself
And bound to corruption itself
So we have to see from far away
Their spirits would strip away our flesh
Down to the bone
Bitterness & hate would turn us into sacks of bones
Ground into dust
If they knew is
In those places
I forget my own God's
I lose loose my own mind from fetters
Just for a while
Knowing I could die
Lose myself
Lose my soul
Beauty is the barer of Death
Because it comes with tongues of madness
Tongues twisted like snakes
Speaking of love in a land of knives
Trying for desire in a world of blinding violence
We try to know them
Know of them
Never able to be like them
Be as they are
Steal what should be mine
But caged away
Time slips away
Do I've learned to live oddly
Watching those nearer to the moon
Than the sun
Lies within me
Trying to find truth
But wrapped up in Sins+
Only pains unknown warn me that this some kind of Sin+
I have stolen from the Gods
And I will live to Die a thousand deaths for that Sin+
Forbidden fruit is the most strongest taste
Dripping with juice like the thirst)
The more bitter fruits
Hide anger & dispair
As black hates drips & drips away
As rage burns over my bones
My own soul has holes in
Made of disrepair
Made of immortal longings
And born of mortal dispair(s)
Like a taste of a mind
Want your brain in a jar)
Soul toucher
See outside
Want to see inside
Everyman tastes better
Every man's mind tastes bitter
I can suck on the marrow bone of hate)
When life has turned over sicker
No shame in the bitter shades
Only love from above like a lie)
Like a taste of a life
Like a taste of a soul
Like an eye for an eye
A tongue for a tongue
A taste for a taste
A taste for Death from another races tongue
I trade a Death for a death
A life for a life
A soul for a soul
Inside & out
My soul dies
Just to know of him
I lose a skin
Lose pages of my life
I try to touch without hands
I beg to know him
But the Gods will throw me aside
Rather than see me wasted
On blunted bitter seed
I pay in wasted time
Wasted dreams
Dying inside dreams
Born the the wrong way around
I like the bitter dreams
When Death won't wait
I'm wrong side up
Trapped inside the wrong dreams
Of the wrong men
Going where I should not go
Knowing where the Godforsaken go
Knowing what I should not know
Therefore the God I have known of
Is Not the God I knew before
A sane God is now tainted
I was aware of the unaware
Kept better that way
Left unawares I was without pain
No fear or unreason
Now because of my Sins+
Now too many too name
So many prices stolen
Too many to even remember of myself
Come through myself
As a living vessel
That brings about the end
As Sins+
Sins+ of knowledge that God did not want us to have
Nor to hold
But to slip away like a snake in the night
Unconscious sleeping and slipping
Because of so much pain
So glorious in rapture
So terrible in evils+
So painfull to the body in coming back through
Now I don't sleep the same ways
Or dream the same ways
I have seen without the veils of the Gods
Who kept me sleeping bound & dumb
Now I have knowledge of true pain(s)
And true pleasure(s)
Even ghosts can feel
Even ghosts could tell if anyone listened)
True burnings
A soul torn and tilted
Partly held trapped elsewhere
Longing for sane life again
Pure greed's
Desires still ungrasped
Desires of fleshly lust unknown
Out of bounds
Totally denied in this life
Coming to life in trances
Dances in my mind
Dreams while I'm awake
In & out of dreamlike states
Coming in and going out
Becoming flesh life inside my body
Wrapped up in spirits
My body craves release
My mind is scratchy
Need to ink the page
To drain the flame
In order to sleep sane
Bound by crazy to untold flesh
There is no release without offerings
To feel small in a world this big
Of a pleasure that just wings away so quickly
No release back to sanity
No sanctuary to return back here without lust
pain pleasure confusion illusion
Illusion is the release
Reality is the pain
Returning to offer up tributes is the release
Coming back up again is the leash
That act like a lash against the souls purpose
The way back up the stairs towards the light outside
Is a bondage within my own flesh
A bondage in my own mind
Caused by the sudden convergence of my soul
And the power more than ever the flesh that binds
More it is the eye
Which trys to translate the crazy
To understand what can't be understood
Better in sight than I
Better memory's than I have kept
Bound to a leash unseen
I know I must go outside my own God's
My own Laws
To Lust after Lords unseen
Like a feeding/feeling ghost
Living off of dreams
Of past treasures from before
Once seen it is encoded/kept in check
Real & unreal
Living flesh
Made unreal
Unloving and stilldead
Like the dead suddenly coming to life
Pleasures of a blinding eye
Lust as a passing madness
And then suddenly fading out again
Every time it feels real
I must pay for the Gods+
Pay to the Gods
For what I have touched
Only with my mind
Never with my hands
But my probing spirit
This rebelling spirit
Has roamed abroad
Escaped it's chains
Broken the Laws
And rebelled against fate
Hated being alone
Kept in waiting
I've rebelled
They kept me waiting for too long
And I've seen the world with a full on eye
And remembered it too much
Sucked it in too much because the eye replaces true touch
Love has noway to live
Except through the eye
Disconnected it cannot try
It's an eye that cannot speak
It cannot cry
Got involved in strangers places
Touched on living scenes
Through memory I've lefty own soul naked to this world
Just to taste another
To my shame
Got lost in imaginery scenes
Seen what it shouldn't have seen
Been in places I can't believe
Now I can't explain
My own will
Has partly caused me this pain
Endless amounts of pain
Mind body spirit kept in a bottle
One touch of poison
One taste of poison
From a bad snake
I writhe around in the masters wake
Not truly dead to my own Sins+
I remember enough to know of troubles
I can suddenly remember some of my Sins+
That my ways are wired over wrong
And I pay in anger
In arrogance in rebellion?!?
I pay in Deaths
For a taste of poison
Part of hating the world
But mines kept a secret
Not naked in display
But never as much as he
Never born as him
My own private wars against God
They kept me waiting much too long
And I weakened
I lusted after him
Seeing in the good the God of god's eye
But I forgot the rest of the deal
The doorways
And tasted some of the wrong ways
I'm clung to the vessel
Until I can find a way back
From where I've been and what I've done
I've stolen
Because of my madness
To try to stay alive
I've tried to cheat God
And I've cheated myself
Maybe I've used the only way left to me
I've borrowed from my enemy's
Drugs for my Soul to feed off
Safe spaces
To help find off madness
So that I can stay alone & safe still locked up
Now I'm trapped by his shadows
In rising & falling
Tempted by the Devil
Lies & Sin
God has betrayed me
Left me alone voided voiceless
And locked away
If I ever try to go to him in this life
I'll Die
From a monsters punishments
Better to create windows in my mind
And see with the eye
Through the eye
The ones who could kill me
Far beyond sanity's
Far beyond Sin
Far beyond ryhme & reason
In ànother life
In another time
In another place
Trapped on this cage of steel
Still gifted with the living curse of spirit
The roaming eye......💀




πŸ’€β™₯️ BAD MIRROR} πŸ” (SP/M TP)πŸ’€

06:28 Jul 02 2022
Times Read: 939

💀❤️ ©KNOX SCARLETTE BANE-ALL RIGHTS RESERVED🔏💀♥️ Prog Rock Record-Turn on Tune in-Turn up-Utube ♥️)

Turn me on in
Or tune me on out
Turn me on
Or just turn on me
I know you could)
Or just vibe me out
Just block me out
Just lock me out when it's your time to roam
An uninvited guest in the lair
Unexpected fly in the web
Drunken wasp in the trap
Sometimes the pages turn by themselves)
Brain got rewired
Non sensical
Bad memory stops me seeing why
Reality no longer works
Bad drops knock me out
You turn evil and time never works again
You turn spiteful and time goes off track again
It's logical
That you'd pass on me
That my taste would make you spit
That on my life you'd shit
Sat on that pedestal
Blind like a bitch)
But love has a blinding eye
And lust has a binding eye
And Q's never answered turn out that way)
That never seems to ware away
Like stones on the shoreline
Softened up brain
Goes Marshmellow
Goes down the wrong tunnel
Spider looking for the wrong light
Spider catching the wrong thread
There is a switch to stop the pain
And the brain-storms
And the stupid answered Qs
And I have the switch somewhere
But my self won't tell me where
But I won't use it anyway
Because I'd rather take a serious Death-trip back around hell
Yet again
Than get a brain that works true
Thats not a rain jacket
A form of protection)
It's just planning to fail
It's like planning to fall
than make serious plans in life
I can't try commit to myself fully
Always tilting off of life
Bad dates drag me down
I drag myself down
I waste my own life
With unmade promises
Of guys who are strangers
I undo my own best plans
I'm sorry for what I've let be done
I'm sorry for what I've done to myself
In another's name
The shit that goes down
Crap that keeps on going round the bend
I've outmatched again
Outmarched myself again
I am the one who makes the Death-match(s)
I end up alone back on death marches
I'm the one thrown back in the ring
(Always will be the one
Denied that golden ring
That life
That light from above
Could get myself a studded collar
Could bet on another colour
Could bet out on my bottom dollar)
By my own mistakes
These pitfalls
Blinded eXpectations
That cut me down again
I've slighted myself again
Don't like myself as seen in you
Don't see myself as liked in you
It's a Soultide full of hate(s)
Strange spirits of contempts
Your bad for me to know
Bad for myself this way
Your like a bad mirror
Always making my best look like shit
And my worse look weaker
When I've had enough pain then the game(s) will end
And the cycles in the ring will fade away to
Unknown ends
But not in this lifetime
Not without a better plan
Not without a better man
It's just not a masterplan I've finished up on yet
Going on up
Or just falling on out
Man I'm so down
Slipping towards the mud slide
I cut myself down
I cut myself in half
One goes white one goes black
One just goes on back outside again)
By wanting you now
I betray my own body
I hurt myself smartly
I've marred my own mind
Which was pure before
I cut myself out by wanting you now
I cut myself deep by knowing the rest
Better the pain before knowing
Better the pain before seeing
It's not just love when it's all just bleeding)
When I just couldn't see
When I couldn't have known you yet
I wouldn't believe
I couldn't have conceived
evil gets out jail time free
Bastards get off because society sets them free again
And some go kill again)
I cut myself out by lowing on the pain
Shouldn't have asked for what was never mine
Shouldn't have dined out on bloodwine
Or held onto the wire
Or believed too much shit
Without ever checking
Coming to rely on downright lies
Or just memory's of half lies
Of half lights
Like eating canned worms in the dark
Makes all my meals taste cold
Shouldnt have died when the memory's come back around
Memory's have there own place in time
Staying frozen on a relay in my mind
Turn me on I know you could
Tune me in I know you should
Turn on me I know you would
What should change everything
to their society changes nothing much in me
I should be free to be me
But trauma makes a mockery out of me
All changes are just from theorys
Aware of what the eXperts say)
I'm not afraid of pain as others are
Turn me right up high on the switch
And I scream when I'm awake
Awakened suddenly
Like white light
Like mad electricitys
From the pain(s)
I bleed for the scene(s)
To taste your contempt in my dreams
And I'm alive in a scene
Before the reels get lost
In other realitys
In other schemes
And other half ended dreams
Let me live this out live not just tuned on out
Kept stuffed in the closet
for the reasons I've known
And the ways I just can't understand
Don't be a bastard
Don't be a screw in my dreams
Don't be the pin in my ballons
Because your never there anyway
Could have been a better man anyway)
And even then you'd never understand
Your lies & hate haven't helped
To make this bad-ending so screwed on up
Taste less sour
I am gifted with this death-seed
I can touch the gift-curse
I can touch the broken lip
I'm better on up
Always moving on up
Even when your at your lowest
Your still clinging on out there
I am gifted & I am touched
Your just a sadist soul
Lusting after numbers
You only see some others
You don't really know anyone
We're all just trophys
Kills you made
And objects
Kept in waiting
Your hatefull faith
Your faithfull hates
Building up the pyres
While I burn with the light(s)
I am the cup that overflows
Memory's of a better life
Your side is the bitter life
The dregs at the bottom
Your on the bad side of the bed
Bad side of the head
But your just deadborn still
Not going to be reborn soon
Hanging outside of life
Spitting in your own embers
Poison in your own menorys
You'll never come back up
Trenchland is your (broken) backbone
Contempt is the comforting pillow on your dead man's throne
Holding on with your cold dead hand
To ignorance
This calculated atrogance
now getting outlawed by the better societys
Hate is not the only king in this land)
Knowing it's a lifetime and you'll never get to understand
Your never gonna be there for some me
Or for me some kind ever
Always a placeholder but never a keeper
Knowing it's a lifeline and your nowhere near caring yet
Not even lifetimes can take the strain off
Or bleed the leeches off
You've turned the lights off
So I inch along in my mind
Longing for a flaming torch
Wishing for a better touch
When I'm just trying to inch along the line
Wouldn't matter to you much
To pretend on some tolerance
To let me have a (substandard) style of life
To try to understand
Let me make a stand
To try to have a flame that won't drown out in the wick of your spit
You've made the stand to beat me down
You've come around to keeping me down
Your living off a flame
Getting off of
Keeping me down
All the time
You've built a life off of my pain
Cause it makes you feel good
Acting like God
After lying you've got a better plan this time
For a half owned life
Even though it's all just empty plots
Promises already broken down
And messages already lost in time
If the rope brakes we both brake our necks
Even though I'm way ahead
And far up high
In the frozen air
Your always there lagging on behind
Deadend shadow keeps on clinging on
If we both fall off this mountain of burden
We both end the rope of life
Gone snapped
Left behind like bones just twisted
Times just frozen right out
Cut me on out
And I'm already dying on down again
Once on top I'm on trial again
Can't tie me down to me
Or tie me to your evil shadow
I'm free in this life
To live for nothing
To live for anything
To Die through you
Pretend to ignore you)
Can't keep me down I've always said
Till I died in your bed)
It's a headfuck in my own head
It's a selfuck I've come to dread
It's just a trip got outta hand
Outta sight a hand kept hidden
Plots from my own self image
Peices of a broken mirage
Like pages from a broken marriage)
Shouldn't go that far
Home kept upsidedown
Mirror kept sliced down
Mind kept freaked out
Outta sight and outta my own mind
Better than just staying locked out
Double up on my poison(s)
Double up on my potion(s)
Like veins full of drugs
A slowed down motion
Visited stranger notions
Too wacked outta line now
To get back on straight
Because it's like a substitution
For your dreaded institution(s)
Shit life inside my headspace
Stupid substitutes
For the pain I really wanted
Having you around again
And all the shame you bring
Just kept hanging in the web
Just kept dangling on the line
You are like a crippled institution
You have a sick constitution
I have a sad destitution
Makes a sad destination
Makes a never ending end
When I'm tunneling on down in my own mind
Doubled back and bearing down fine
Takes so much willpower to stay offline
So much effort not to trip over the lines
Don't want to get tangled
Your judgements are just like death-cycles
Empty motions
No way to over-empty
Better to be just empty
Being an empty vessel would be better
Being finished would be better
Being dead somewhere hidden
Than being left half-alive
Kept all wasted and all stricken
You sick on me and
Your judgements just sicken
God is the only judge who remembers before you came and lied
You lied me down real hard
He's the real judge on my time-in the end
But until then I'm holding onto silence that just eats me
Holding on the line
I gave you all this power anyways
Mind just kept in a daze
Uncashed cheque
Soul never required
Kept unrequited
Life you never wanted
Contracts never finished
Time after time
If I could crawl back up and stay just stable
Stay on the flat
But you rock the ledge to make me fall)
Able to hold on
I could wait for the storm to blow over
But I know you'll drill a tiny hole somewhere
A constant wound
Some bone-chip missing
To ware me down
Everyone says a poison
Everyone says a lie
Been called a downright liar
Died-on-down before my time
Dying all down the line
Didn't ask for no mercy's
Didn't ask for any more than I've already known
All I've lost coming back with the tide
I'm so down than I'm drowning
Got too close
Even from a safe distance
There is no distance when your down and out)
Broke all the rules
Knowing I'd take the fall
Stand alone as the loser
Get ground down into bone-dust
Felt too much of a loss
Blind thirst makes time go off-track
The blackness just oozes out the frame
Didn't ask for no more mercy's than God could've give
Pain is a trap
And so is pleasure
But worst of all is guilt
Lost all my measures from knowing you
And that's a hard-line fact!!
The pain traps
Same evil shit backed up
Send down and back out
Again and again
Same trip same trap
Acting like an addict
Wasp in a jar
Still wanting it to end
But yet my brain malfunctions
To start this shit up again
Pain spins me on a wheel
But hate just gluts out my memory's
And blinds my perceptions
Getting screwed around by a recorded message
Images that always return
It's my own trip remember
If I can care to remember
How to stop you killing me
Got to take back consent
Got to take back my own time
Letting you hang me out to dry
Dying out before my own time
Everyone has poison
Everyone says die
Making mistakes over bad merchants
Making mistakes over bad deals
Taken over by bad turns
Bad times
Bad tides are turning
My mind is just churning like the tide
Evil seeds floating on the wind
Lost body's coming back on the tide
The bad man's hand turns the moon a pale kind of ill
Left out in the cold too long
Like a worm on a hook
But time hasn't taken away this ill-fall
This life-fall
I've had a bellyfull of being blamed for your shit
But time doesn't take my hints
It won't let me out
Set me free
Or help me through
You make living with your madness
So much easier than living on without!!..... 💀



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