On life and love... part 2...04:20 Apr 18 2009
Times Read: 1,308
Ok, so a little bit of expanding on that last entry and what prompted it…
The other night my father decided to have a talk with me about my… life. Which was weird enough, but all of his opinions stem from religion, which he has rediscovered since he got remarried about 15 years ago.
This isn’t to set up religion bashing, but after being raised Roman Catholic I think he assumed I still subscribed to some kind of religion… which I don’t. That revelation, which seemed to shock him, came about in the conversation after he suggested I read this book about making relationships work… that of course, was written by a priest, or a minister… whichever. Regardless, someone I wouldn’t look to for relationship advice ever, really.
Anyway, he went on about this book, explaining the theory is women want to be loved and men want to be respected and apparently relationships are as simple as that and if you have both of those elements in your relationship life will be blissful and you can have one of those marriages where nothing interesting happens but both people stay comfortable enough until death does them part… assuming they don’t kill each other to get there.
*ahem*
I call bullshit.
Relationships are not that simple. Not that black and white. Not that easy to define. Each individual person cannot be defined solely by his or her gender that way.
Just like the notion “Just unload your man and he’ll stay faithful” is bullshit too.
It’s a good idea, of course. ;)
*ahem*
I’m not about to spout off on how relationships should be. No one person should try to define what works and what doesn’t for two other people.
What I’ve learned in the last 1/3 of my life is… no amount of advice from someone else can replace YOU looking out for YOURSELF. YOUR happiness. What YOU want for YOUR life and YOUR love and YOUR relationships. And only YOU knows what it is YOU want.
And when it comes to relationships, you won’t always get with the person you want to be with… and that’s ok. That other person is looking out for his or her own life too and maybe having that with YOU isn’t it for them. But you can’t stop trying and stop living just because of that. Move on. Be happy for the people you care about. That happiness will make you more attractive to someone else and your heart will mend and move forward if you let it.
My father, being divorced from my mother… a marriage that resembled something closer to the dividing of Berlin than a relationship, should understand that as well as anyone. And at this point in his life, taking advice from a book written by someone who doesn’t know him or his life at all… well… maybe that’s fine for him, but I choose a different path.
He claims that the few times he’s been to marriage counseling in his first marriage and his current one, the counselors have done the same thing… listen for a few sessions, then tell HIM what HIS problem is… not focusing at all about what he wants out of the relationship and isn’t getting. Maybe a lot of it is his problem... who knows, but this is his current solution. A book… based in religion… not getting to know him or his wife as individuals yet telling them how they should be living… in the eyes of god.
I’ll take a pass on that advice, thanks.
COMMENTS
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Morrigon
23:32 Apr 26 2009
Not even five minutes after you put them out some long haired dude came wandering up the driveway and asking about them!
faeriemoon
04:46 Apr 27 2009
So does this mean I have storage space? :p Holy crap I have to pack!
birra
18:15 Apr 27 2009
As long as my car isn't parked in there... it fits now!