Have to brag... at least a little.21:14 Nov 24 2010
Times Read: 1,190
I have to brag - this is awesome. Had parent/teacher conferences today for all three kids, and I have to say, I have some AWESOME kids. Unlike their old man, when my parents would come home from such conferences scowling at me, I can only smile. All three are excelling and their teachers had nothing but good things to say about them.
The youngest, however, is a bit of a surprise. I know he's bright, and he has always tested out high with abstract concepts, logic and basic learning fundamentals, but he can be such a handful, I sometimes lose sight of how bright he actually is.
When he entered kindergarten this year his teacher was surprised that he could read. Not just read sight words and recognition cues, but actually read full stories and re-tell them in a summary. He was the only child to start the class with this skill. She sent him to the school reading and literacy specialist, who usually works with the students who are struggling and falling behind - just so she could sit with him and put him through some specialized testing.
He tested out at almost a 2nd grade reading level. The specialist keeps going to his classroom asking if he can just go and spend time reading with with her and the rest of the kids to help and encourage the other kindergarten students who are having difficulty.
They also had a standardized test where they used letters in varying font types, upper and lower case, flashing 60 of them in a minute to see how many the children could accurately name. A good score at the beginning of kindergarten is 8. Most of the brighter kids scored between 7 and 12.
My son accurately named 55 of them.
55 in a minute. I probably couldn't do that.
Whenever he is presented with this kinds of tests, he always blows away the expectations. I guess I shouldn't be surprised by any of this - the reminder definitely helps remind me to be proud, encouraging, and more patient with him.
Funny thing....16:14 Nov 19 2010
Times Read: 1,453
...ever since I became a dominar here, I feel like my time here is limited.
I used to be able to mouth off at people and be sarcastic all the time. Now I'm reminded to set a good example and be nicer to members than I had been in the past.
Meanwhile I'm expected to try and keep order and regulate the forums and vamp box, to make sure things stay within the guidelines of TOS, which are there, very much so for legal reasons.
It certainly doesn't seem like I'm above the rules at all... quite the contrary. And since I do understand how running an organiation or business works, I do my best to follow the rules now that I know I have to enforce many of them.
*shrug* I guess you can see it as a power trip, if you don't have that perspective, but... hey, in the end, it's a website.
I was asked if I would do the job... I said yes. It wasn't a goal. In fact I avoided it for quite a while... I know many other admins here are in the same boat.
Don't know what to say about all the admin bashing that happens... From what I've seen both before I was an admin, and now that I see behind the scenes... the admins all seem like level-headed, fair people who just want the best results for Cancer and his projects...
As a member, your time here.. I think.. should be to enjoy the site, what it offers and your friends that you make. If you can't do that while staying in within TOS, well, then try a different site... as far as I've seen though, they all have a TOS... otherwise they get shut down.
A place for reflection...04:24 Nov 10 2010
Times Read: 1,591
I still believe goodness abounds in the hearts of those around me. I’m not sure why – I’ve been given so much more proof to the contrary. Yet I still have a sense of empathy for the situations of the people around me. Like the mother travelling alone with three young children – trying to decide on what to do for lunch, realizing the cumbersome luggage, stroller and personal possessions of the children are inconvenient necessities and also completely her responsibility. I want to reach out and say, “Just leave the luggage next to me; I’ll watch it for you. Take care of lunch for your kids and don’t worry about this for a while.” It would be so simple – if not for the fact I know, in this scenario, we’re taught to not trust anyone. Even suggesting this out of the blue in an airport could be considered, “suspicious activity,” right? So my nature to be empathetic is thwarted by what our society has dissolved to be.
Empathy and consideration for our fellow human in need… made to be dangerous and impractical.
Yes folks, the terrorists won a long time ago.
Or maybe they didn’t win so much as humanity lost. Caring for our fellow man now needs to be licensed and approved by the government. After all, you can be sued for saving someone’s life and injuring them in the process – and lose.
Maybe the terrorists are not some evil foreign entity or radicals hell-bent on destroying the western world… seems to me we do enough to damage our own society by destroying logic, common sense and decency.
This is why I envy people like Joli. She spends her days caring for those who need it. Lending people a hand to help them lift themselves off the ground – not just giving them a free ride. Fulfilling – she’ll never become wealthy doing it, but she is richer than most of us just for owning her own heart and willingly giving a piece of it to so many.
Sitting at this gate reminds me of a trip through Orlando a long time ago – I believe I journaled about it – woman struck up a conversation with me. She was distraught, moving to Washington DC, having exited a bad relationship or so I remember… looking for a new career and a new start. I became an empathetic ear for her for a little while. Maybe I made a difference. Who knows? It isn’t like any one of those random connections I’ve made on the road ever turned into an established friendship. Everyone thinks that other person is out for something. I don’t care if they are – they’ll be sorely disappointed that I have little to give aside from my empathy and friendship. Personally, I’m just here to live my life and enjoy it.
And it is more enjoyable when you can enjoy it with other people.
Right now there is this woman scolding her child for getting ketchup on her hoodie. Scolding her husband for “being so stupid” for getting honey-mustard pretzels. Ahhh… good, quality family time heading home from Disney. High maintenance at its best. You know, they’re kids, sweetheart. You’re going through an airport, not a fashion show – the spot of ketchup isn’t going to make a spot of difference in their lives. Them hearing you call your husband “stupid” over something this trivial will.
Boarding time…. The woman with the kids hasn’t returned from lunch yet. I’m sure she will push it to the last minute.
She did… one of the last on the plane. There was no call that they were out of room for luggage on this sold-out flight. Proactively, the gate crew went around convincing passengers to gate-check bigger bags – amazing. It worked. I think they need to be a little tighter on the size limits on carry-on anyway.
But here I am babbling about meaningless observations. Maybe it’s the comfort level – on a plane, having a drink, typing out my thoughts listening to the hum of the engines masked by music in my ear buds…
...
But it is always nice to have someone to enjoy it with. After all, I wouldn’t have met Morri if not for my traveling. And that has been an incredibly positive, happy and life changing consequence to the opportunities that I had. The times we spent on the road together are forever etched in my mind, and all over my heart, as are the last few years of enjoying her company in my life; mind, body and soul. I can’t say enough positive things about the person that she is… I just hope, deep down, she can see her self through my eyes.
The plane is rocking with some turbulence… Pink Floyd, The Wall is playing in my ears… I am in my happy place…
Self reflection going around in circles…16:10 Nov 07 2010
Times Read: 1,628
It is easy to convince someone to believe in something unapparent. For example: Religion. Religions have been convincing people that the unimaginable exists for eons. Scientific discoveries are another example. People will believe discoveries of science without seeing it, without experiencing and without understand how it was discovered….
But try and get someone to believe something about themselves, and in most cases, they resist. Especially if it is something positive. Maybe they can’t see it – but why should that stop them from believing? No, there has to be something else in the way…
…and that something is usually a long history of seeing themselves a certain way, whether self-visualized or made to feel that way by other people. An inability to escape the past and look at the present and future with an open mind and open heart. Once a belief system has been put in place it is a very difficult thing to break. Like casting a ceramic mold; once it is set, it is nearly impossible to change it without breaking the integrity of it.
It has to be a slow process – it is not something that can be done over night. Like stripping off the layers of the sealer that protect the belief… the paints that give it a façade for people to see… the dried, hardened shell underneath it all… and without cracking or splitting it open…
But of course, in terms of people, the first step always has to be the want to change; the desire to see yourself as something different and someone different. Whether you’re battling a defeatist self image of who you are, or fighting an eating disorder, or an addiction or depression or an abusive relationship… the person has to want to change, then the process can begin.
And in many cases, the process isn’t just changing the mold… it is healing the cracks and chips that already exist as well.
It takes time. Sometimes I think, twice or even three times as many years to change the mold as it took to make it what it is. A lifetime of work to constantly change; to reinvent yourself. To shine a different light upon your skin and reflect it the way you want others to see you, and more importantly, how you want to see yourself.
So what is the trick?
Maybe the trick is to never set the mold in the first place. To teach our children to always be flexible, open minded, forgiving – especially of themselves – to hold no regrets, to always work on moving forward and not looking back, to remain malleable to their own fire and hammer. To focus not just on physical health, but emotional, moral and social health as well.
…and never lose sight of the fact that they are an individual… imperfect, but beautiful. Unique and special, but no different than anyone else. Another passenger on this little planet but the pilot and navigator of their own destiny.
Is that a lot to ask of a parent?
Really? Ok.. I'll play, Pagan...
20:52 Nov 04 2010
Times Read: 1,740
INTERVIEW WITH A VAMPIRE DOMINAR
One of the busiest sections of VR is the Forum. Being such a hive of activity means that there is a need to administer and maintain the posts that VR users make and this task is the responsibility of the Dominars chosen by Cancer. It stands to reason that these Dominars need infinite patience, a good sense of humour, and probably have to give up even their sanity to maintain law and order in the Forum, where now and then opinions clash and humour can take a backseat...Birra is one of these Dominars and I knew I simply had to interview him to find out his views on his VR position, how he finds the time to ever relax, and if his sense of humour ever fails him...
I knocked on Birra's office door..."Feh..." said a voice and I knew insantly it was him. Birra being a man of few words seems to ably convey meanings with words I'm sure are entirely his own but now permeate e-dom (feh, heh, meh), and so I wondered if I'd get him to tell me what I wanted to know. Who is Birra? I asked:
Who? Me? I'm just a guy. I'm pretty much what you see here; relaxed, easy going, not easily upset or offended. I like dinners by candle light, long walks on a moonlit beach, watching the Russian Women's Tennis Team wrestling naked in a vat of pudding... I used to joke that I'm your average guy online - filthy rich, twelve inch penis and I date exclusively European Swimsuit models... but everyone who knows me knows how untrue that is. I mean, I've never been to Europe... sadly, they've all been American Swimsuit models...
...and a few Canadian ones, too.
Heh, I thought, that was a good answer. I then realised something: Birra was so busy, he'd taken to using these short but very meaningful words simply because he juggled work, life and VR (a brilliant idea I thought, I'd better not take up too much of his precious time then) and I next asked him, why did Cancer choose you to be a Dominar and what exactly does a Dominar do?
He thought for a moment and I could see he was being modest when he told me:
I haven't the foggiest idea... on any of that. Really.
Maybe it is all because I invented the words "Heh.." and "Feh.." You can claim I didn't actually invent them, to which I would respond, "Maybe not, but I made them what they are today."
I knew that Birra was a fantastic photographer. I wondered if it was just a hobby, or did he have aspirations to becoming the next Ansel Adams?
Hmmm... Ansel Adams, eh? Probably not. I mean, if I were to become famous for my photography, I would hope the images would be far too offensive to be put in a mass-produced print rack at K-Mart...
As I listened to his reply, I noticed his music collection...Pink Floyd, Talking Heads some seriously brilliant artists there, and what the feh? Oh, I'd better not mention that I noticed the Justin Bieber cd he was using as a coaster for his mega-strength coffee, dude that would destroy his VR-cred right away...swiftly moving on, I probed Birra more...you are the master of innuendo, does it get you into trouble much?
Only online, where jokes tend to not translate well and people take themselves too seriously to find the humor in it.
Justing Bieber? Is that who this is? Hmmm... I think this is Morrigon's anyway... Heh.
I smirked at that, Birra enjoyed a snort and a guffaw as much as the next person. I wanted to know what he did for fun, or if he ever had time to kick back and smell the coffee?
I make the coffee, I drink the coffee, I clean the coffee pot. I like to consider myself "well rounded" in the world of coffee.
What do I do for fun? Well, I like to spray water on sidewalks in winter and make videos of people falling. It's funnier because I don't know them.
It's also enjoyable to cook. I always say, the ability to cook is only limited by bravado and creativity. You can pass off anything as gourmet with the right attitude about it.
Oh, and I really enjoy discussing uncomfortable truths just to watch people react! Like mentioning something like, you exist because your father had an orgasm inside of your mother. Most people never really consider that, but the mechanics of it are, your mom and dad probably had a LOT of sex in their day. Hey, maybe the still do... maybe they are, right now.
Meh, it had been a good interview, but I wanted to squeeze one last titbit out of him. Three words Birra - no, not feh, heh, meh - give me three words that describe you please: mad, bad, lad, or...?
Three words? Hmmm... let's see...
I
Smell
Good.
Gah, I should have known. Birra did use the English language competently after all, how else would he maintain the Forum so well. It was time for me to take my leave. I had enjoyed speaking to him and hoped it wouldn't be too long before he'd completely re-written everyday language, gawd-knows we all needed a break from words of more than one syllable.
You mean like, Heh and Feh? Yeah.. I think I should rewrite the language, for sure! Heh.
COMMENTS
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PAGAN
12:27 Nov 30 2010
hell no
RedQueen
21:38 Nov 30 2010
Just good business, sugar- you know that...lol