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PhoenicianDream's Journal


PhoenicianDream's Journal

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PROFILE




32 entries this month
 

19:16 Aug 27 2010
Times Read: 1,093


I've been sleeping a lot lately. I've been dreaming a lot lately too. I've been dreaming about death, dead bodies, and killing mostly. Last night I dreamed I killed someone by pounding a set of biscuit cutters into their skull.

It only got more bizarre from there.



Things really arent much better when I'm awake. I feel obsolete in more ways than one these days. I live in a world where everything I touch goes terribly wrong. Yet there's question as to why I just want to sleep. Sometimes the torture I face in my sleep beats the alternative.



I have much more on my mind, but I can't say it here. Or anywhere for that matter. Its not worth it.

COMMENTS

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PAGAN
PAGAN
19:25 Aug 27 2010

hey, *HUGS*





 

01:49 Aug 24 2010
Times Read: 1,125


I'm thoroughly fucking annoyed.

COMMENTS

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Nightgame
Nightgame
02:12 Aug 24 2010

Did you have to deal with a sugar coated dip shit today too? I thought it was just my unlucky day!





PhoenicianDream
PhoenicianDream
02:35 Aug 24 2010

LOL don't jinx me woman! I haven't even gone to work yet! ;p





LadyDarkRayne
LadyDarkRayne
03:42 Aug 24 2010

Did the kitties tear something to shreds ?





 

... ramble on...

23:29 Aug 22 2010
Times Read: 1,139


I wanna see your pussay show it to me! Show me the pussay, show it to me!



My thundercat loves me, he sleeps in my room with me so I'm not lonely.



Show me how it ends it's alright

Show me how defenseless you really are

satisfied and empty inside

Well, that's alright, let's give this another try






Do you think that we ever see a true person? Do they share the best or the worst of themselves? If one were to show their soul to you what would it look like. Are what we see on a daily basis what one truely is, or a hallow empty angry excuse for a being?





would you know my name..if I saw you in heaven.. will it be the same if I saw you in heaven...



Will I see you on the other side? Will I fell the same as I did before? Will I love you, or loathe you?








Blah I'll finish this another time.

COMMENTS

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Requiem
Requiem
12:41 Aug 23 2010

Hahahah that song Pussy is on my iPod for when I go on the treadmill. I didn't realize it was there until I had the songs on random shuffle and realized I was running along singing Pussy. Loudly. And getting looks. Hah!





 

things I've learned today:

04:59 Aug 22 2010
Times Read: 1,153


There are more people on VR that have a lot of cats than I knew about. (A lot being 5+)



And...



Responsibility sucks, but it isn't that difficult. I just don't know why so many people fail at it.



COMMENTS

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Requiem
Requiem
05:41 Aug 22 2010

I am one of them. Heh.





LadyKowe
LadyKowe
06:14 Aug 22 2010

As am I. LOL. Well, not now, but I plan on it in future.





LadyDarkRayne
LadyDarkRayne
03:59 Aug 23 2010

I has kitties too although the oleman is taking care of them until i get home ... I misses my pussy cats and my wolfy and the oleman of course





 

blah

04:42 Aug 22 2010
Times Read: 1,154


Have I mentioned how much I just love bad dreams? =l



Had another one today, maybe I'll dump it in my jourrnal on my lunch break. Then again, maybe I won't. We'll see.

COMMENTS

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Bones
Bones
00:26 Aug 25 2010

See, I knew it, you're dreaming about me!



:P





 

PRIVATE ENTRY

03:54 Aug 20 2010
Times Read: 1,163


• • • • PRIVATE JOURNAL ENTRY • • • •


 

03:11 Aug 19 2010
Times Read: 1,176


I feel some writing that needs to be done.



I'm just not sure where to do it.

COMMENTS

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disgruntled little shit

04:20 Aug 18 2010
Times Read: 1,197


Well he's definitely going to be an asshole about the new additions.



Thundercat and I just had a fight. =/



I was trying to pet him and he decided he was going to go beserk. Little turd.



He drew blood, and I stuck his ass in the goddamn shower for it.



He's pissed off and licking himself in the corner. Bastard.

COMMENTS

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BubbleGumClaudia
BubbleGumClaudia
13:04 Aug 18 2010

I can imagine you saying "You little shit you drew blood!"





 

phase I

12:31 Aug 17 2010
Times Read: 1,250


WildChild did a pretty good job. =) I was a little unsure wether he'd be able to follow my sketch that closely. (*whispers* I've seen his handwriting. O.O)



The girls I work with freaked out a little when I had them take this pic for me. They said it looks more painful than a tatoo. I just shrugged and told them I've never had a tatoo. It's a little more painful than I remember the last one being. Or maybe its been long enough I forgot. I'll post another pic when we complete the next phase.





Photobucket

COMMENTS

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BubbleGumClaudia
BubbleGumClaudia
03:07 Aug 18 2010

WOO BRANDING!! HOT!





 

Nice!

05:19 Aug 17 2010
Times Read: 1,270


These are beautifully gothic! Perfect to home a gift for the one you love, or for that simply vampyric proposal. ;) LOVE EM!!!

COMMENTS

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Vampirewitch39
Vampirewitch39
13:05 Aug 17 2010

Those are sweet. :)





 

well crap. looks like i accidentially removed someone's journal fom my favorites. =/ thats what happens with my touch screen. i have no idea who i removed, so let me know if it was you. thanks. =)

04:53 Aug 17 2010
Times Read: 1,274



COMMENTS

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LadyDarkRayne
LadyDarkRayne
06:14 Aug 17 2010

hmm you were the last one in my journal lol





PhoenicianDream
PhoenicianDream
11:42 Aug 17 2010

Disregard.

Just another fuggin name change. =/





I can't keep up with you people sometimes!





 

well crap

23:29 Aug 16 2010
Times Read: 1,292


It seems that all work and no play makes PD feel pain easier. *shrug*



We'll see what it looks like when its done being inflamed.

COMMENTS

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LadyDarkRayne
LadyDarkRayne
23:56 Aug 16 2010

aww that sucks well i hope you feel better soon =)





WildChild
WildChild
00:14 Aug 17 2010

Lol she is fine its some what self inflicted..





BubbleGumClaudia
BubbleGumClaudia
01:26 Aug 17 2010

Seriously I understand......too much work and no play makes Mel feel pain a hell of alot!





 

o.o oy vey

22:12 Aug 16 2010
Times Read: 1,299


here we go again





Heres's to pain tolerence.

COMMENTS

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WildChild
WildChild
23:02 Aug 16 2010

Hehehe you did alright





PhoenicianDream
PhoenicianDream
11:43 Aug 17 2010

True. I don't think I kicked and squirmed nearly as much as last time.





 

O.O

01:43 Aug 16 2010
Times Read: 1,313


Beep beep beep fire! FIRE!



Not a nice way to wake up. Yes our fire alarm actually says fire! Fire! WC was pretty amused by it.



Oh well. Movie time!


COMMENTS

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fyre
fyre
15:25 Aug 16 2010

OOOOKKKayyyyy... UUMmmm Was the retarded fire alarm on sale?????



Do you have the deaf fire alarm too? You know the one that flashes fire in LEDs????lol





 

PRIVATE ENTRY

18:54 Aug 15 2010
Times Read: 1,330


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.!.. ..!.

18:49 Aug 15 2010
Times Read: 1,333


just because!

COMMENTS

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19:54 Aug 13 2010
Times Read: 1,391


I think I over did it the last week. My lower back is killing me.


COMMENTS

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Humble Goth. Isn't that an oxymoron?

19:52 Aug 13 2010
Times Read: 1,392


haha I know. The headline has absolutely nothing to do with my entry.







It sucks how fast I get down when my friends or family leave town.



I miss when I used to quasi fit in. I don't have a whole lot in common with people around here. Granted, I'm not as active socially here either. I don't just go out and make friends.



The people I work with are drinkers. Heavy drinkers. I've passed that stage in my life. So I don't have much in common with them.



I have a few friends that I've made here I'm sure will be lifelong friends. I just miss being surrounded by loved ones.

COMMENTS

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BubbleGumClaudia
BubbleGumClaudia
21:19 Aug 13 2010

I LOVE YOU!!





LadyDarkRayne
LadyDarkRayne
20:57 Aug 15 2010

Ya.... I know that feeling I know a total of 3 people here.... mis my friends back home.





 

Oy vey

18:05 Aug 12 2010
Times Read: 1,414


WildChild is installing new bits I got for the PC.



Entertaining doesn't begin to cover this.



The cat has stolen the box, and the packing shizzle. He has scattered them about the room and filled them with little toothy puncture holes. (Kinda reminds me of WC's feet. Heheh)



The four letter words have been flying since last night. Originally we had the wrong part, but we exchanged it this morning. It's kind of fun to watch him dick with it. I should give him more projects like this.



So I'm laying on the floor minding my own bidness with my back to him, and I guess in the installiation process he gets bored because he shoots me in the ass with the canned air. O.O I yell 'gaawddamnit! Don't shoot me in the ass with that shit, I told you my sister burned me with it when we were little!!!' In an almost cartman like voice. In reality it was probably frostbite or something, but it burned like a sumbitch. Luckily today I'm wearing jeans so no frost bitten ass for me.



I go back to minding my own business, and I feel/hear *BANG*BANG*BANG* I sit up. "Why are you beating on the electronics?" O.o? "Because I'm shortbus like that." *I think about it for a few minutes* "oh, ok" and go back to what I'm doing.



Well after several verbal rounds, and a little abuse he has it functional. I swear the man thinks that things work better if you spank them first, be it electronics or women.

COMMENTS

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PAGAN
PAGAN
18:19 Aug 12 2010

i swear i think you are right about that, if its to be fixed, hit it or holler, a-men.





FiliaOfAbyssus
FiliaOfAbyssus
18:51 Aug 12 2010

Yep, I don't know how many times a week I have to ask gusion to stop hitting the dvd player...





BubbleGumClaudia
BubbleGumClaudia
06:30 Aug 13 2010

Ha!!!! Spanking the electronics! I would love to see that





 

:(

06:26 Aug 12 2010
Times Read: 1,419


my sister leaves tomorrow

COMMENTS

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o_0

18:12 Aug 11 2010
Times Read: 1,446


WC is rearranging the living room...



























*wait for it*



























...... in .... the.... buff. o.o

COMMENTS

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WildChild
WildChild
20:06 Aug 11 2010

And french toast?





Vampirewitch39
Vampirewitch39
20:29 Aug 11 2010

EWWWWW!! *covers eyes* The horror.





lol





PAGAN
PAGAN
20:43 Aug 11 2010

badass!





PhoenicianDream
PhoenicianDream
20:50 Aug 11 2010

Oh yes, how could I forget. He made and brought me breakfast nekkid too. =)





BubbleGumClaudia
BubbleGumClaudia
00:05 Aug 12 2010

LMAO!!! OOO Its time for a mooning picture!!!





BubbleGumClaudia
BubbleGumClaudia
00:06 Aug 12 2010

I think its cause he wants some LUVIN!!! PD STYLE!





 

not happy

04:38 Aug 10 2010
Times Read: 1,462


would be a good description of me at the moment

COMMENTS

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birra
birra
04:40 Aug 10 2010

Need... happy ending?





BubbleGumClaudia
BubbleGumClaudia
21:11 Aug 10 2010

what happened?





 

PRIVATE ENTRY

23:44 Aug 08 2010
Times Read: 1,471


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PRIVATE ENTRY

23:42 Aug 08 2010
Times Read: 1,472


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13:14 Aug 08 2010
Times Read: 1,487


I think I'm going to avoid VR for a bit.



I have too much other stuff going on.

COMMENTS

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BubbleGumClaudia
BubbleGumClaudia
14:44 Aug 08 2010

NO NO NO!! I Need my Balls! buddy





LadyKowe
LadyKowe
22:28 Aug 08 2010

Long as we keeps in touch other ways, I'm down with it, and I hear ya.





ElizabethRose
ElizabethRose
19:06 Aug 09 2010

We'll be here when you're ready. We all need our down time. *winks*





 

04:49 Aug 08 2010
Times Read: 1,504


I had a great time at rocky mountain national park with my sister. After a very exhausting 18 hour day I could pass out for about 12 hours. Wouldn't that be nice.

COMMENTS

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LadyDarkRayne
LadyDarkRayne
04:59 Aug 08 2010

Sounds like fun, hope you get some well needed sleep =}





 

PRIVATE ENTRY

04:46 Aug 08 2010
Times Read: 1,505


• • • • PRIVATE JOURNAL ENTRY • • • •


 

10:28 Aug 06 2010
Times Read: 1,522


hmmm I'm itching to get branded.



I wonder when I can manage that.

COMMENTS

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Requiem
Requiem
12:14 Aug 06 2010

Ow ow ow ow ow ow





BubbleGumClaudia
BubbleGumClaudia
13:26 Aug 06 2010

LOL!!!! WOOO Violet Wand BRANDINGS!!!





PhoenicianDream
PhoenicianDream
14:28 Aug 06 2010

Haha electrical branding Req. It doesn't hurt that much.





Fizbop
Fizbop
07:04 Aug 07 2010

to quote nike



Just do IT.





 

my WildChild

19:23 Aug 04 2010
Times Read: 1,573


I adore him. Very much so.



We have our good times, and our bad. Just like any relationship.





We started out rather unconventional. Something new to me, but not to him. I'd never been in a relationship with someone who was already in a relationship before. It was interesting I'll give it that. Fun at first, but not for long. He and I being together was his wifes idea. He gets a toy, she gets someone to watch her mob of children while they work. It worked out pretty well for all of us. Until she developed the delusional idea that *I* was the cause of their marital problems. I've been told on more than one occasion and from several different people, that ship was sinking when I climbed aboard.



I'm not going to go into all of the petty details, as I'm not completly done being angry about all of them. To sum it up, I was not provided the financial funding that was agreed upon for all of the childcare I provided. And I was being treated like a leper by the person who's idea it was to move me out here with them. She then decides that she wants to throw me out of her house with no money, and no place to go. Keep in mind I had been nothing but nice to this person aside from one moment of brutal honesty when I was tired of being pushed around by her. I was nice to her, even after she had the nerve to fucking assault me. She really showed her character that night. I never thought I would know someone cowardly enough to punch someone in the back of the head while they are walking away from you.



Anyway, WildChild wouldn't let her throw me out. He knew the problems in their relationship were the two of them, and not me. He refused to let her use, and discard me like she's proven to do with so many other people in her life. He put his foot down when I really needed him to, and he did it without my asking. That, to me says something about *his* character. He and I didn't even love each other at that point in time, and he stood up for me. He protected me when I had no one else.



Since then, he sat by me when I was in the hospital. He left my side only to sleep and eat. He's comforted me when I've grieved, held me when I've cried, put up with me when I've been moody, yelled, and even stood by me when I made the decision to take meds to take the edge off. He's shown me that I can trust again. He's proven to me that I can be with a man and not worry about if or when I'm going to be hit out of anger.



Yes we get on each others damn nerves sometimes. I haven't lived with a person who hasn't driven me absolutely crazy at some point or another. Are there things I would change about our relationship? Sure there are. Are there things I would change about him? Maybe a couple. Don't get me wrong. I'm no fucking saint. I'm just as flawed as everyone else. I'm moody, I sleep too much, I suffer from depression, I'm somewhat of a slob, and my energy levels are downright sporadic. We all have issues.



Yeah, it's been a while since he's worked. But I'm not a nagging bitch. Nagging or shaming him isn't productive in my mind. It will happen when it happens. I know he tries. I know somedays he doesn't try as hard as others, but I know how discouraging job hunting can be. Sometimes you need to take a break to be on top of your game.



I support him because I love him. I support him because he supported me when I didn't love him. We've given to and taken fom each other. In my mind that's how things are supposed to work.



Will we be together forever? Hell if I know. Will we be together next year? I don't know that either. What I do know, is that we're together right now, and even though there are days when I'm frustrated with him or vice versa, I still adore him. He may not be perfect, but no one is. He IS however, a good man.



COMMENTS

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WildChild
WildChild
19:29 Aug 04 2010

WOW...





MooniePie
MooniePie
19:37 Aug 04 2010

It's hard to find someone who will stand with you in those times when you need it most. If you are happy then that is what should matter.



I adore both of you. And I am happy for you that you have that person who stands next to you when you need it. Just enjoy one another. It seems like people lose touch on how to do that sometimes.



xoxoxox





Vampirewitch39
Vampirewitch39
21:50 Aug 04 2010

Sure you are not talking about the cat? :) Ok ok... having a partner in life is very hard to find. I saw it in my parents, Dad still giving my mother little gits every week to show his love as she is homebound.



To just have someone stand beside you means the world.



I have been staying out of this stuff- but WC reads as a man I could like, and glad you two have each other. :)





LadyKowe
LadyKowe
21:54 Aug 04 2010

I'm so glad for both of you...you both rock!





Fizbop
Fizbop
22:50 Aug 04 2010

As long as you love and care for each other it doesn't matter about what the future holds..



Problems can always be solved.

This really gives insite to ya'lls relationship. thank you for sharing this.





GrieviousDemon
GrieviousDemon
04:18 Aug 05 2010

You both are great people and this is one of the many reasons you are BOTH like family. No one is perfect in this crazy ass world but your perfect together in all of its craziness. We know WC works his ass off when there is work out here to be had. I myself have been looking for a better job since Jan and put 20 apps a day at times with nothing. So with 100,000 peole out here looking for work and 400 jobs do the math.. right now is a pain in the ass. But really this is no one elses business whether one works or not. All that matters is your dealing through the tough times together. How many other's can say this. You both have some of the biggest hearts of anyone I have met and we love ya both.





BubbleGumClaudia
BubbleGumClaudia
12:51 Aug 05 2010

I knew there was a reason I hated that psychotic bitch!



You two are like family to me especially at this point in time............You both make me laugh uncontrollably at times and our talks PD have been entertaining!



You both make me happy to call you my friends and its something I don't have very many of....... I know that you are trying Wildchild and I know that PD has loved you through thick and thin!!!!



I ♥ you two!!





 

Getting a bit out of hand don't you think?

03:20 Aug 03 2010
Times Read: 1,622


Anger breeds Anger

Hate breeds Hate

and adding fuel to a fire doesn't help.



Did we think, just for a second, that I might perhaps have an opinion about all of the crap that's going on? Considering I'm in the middle of it. Not because I want to be mind you. I was GOING to stay the fuck out of it and let you all bicker it out like kids. Guess what? I'm tired of my name being thrown around. I'm not a mother, a teacher, or a childcare provider. I shouldn't be dealing with childish behavior. I have half a mind to avoid the goddamned internet until you all either sort it out, or just stop talking to, and ABOUT each other already. It's all petty and stupid.



I like the internet, I really do. I like to learn new things, and meet and banter with those with like minds. I don't like fighting, arguing, and I especially don't like having my name thrown around. My life is MY business. I love who I want, when I want, and why I want to. I have yet to have a relationship without a struggle, or some form of hardship. I find it unlikely that anyone else has either. It's up to ME to decide what I will, or won't put up with from the ones I love, and no one else.



Putting people down for their shortcomings isn't a nice thing to do. I'm sure we've all been on the giving and receiving end of that at some point in our lives. It doesn't make us a better person for doing it, and it doesn't help the person you're attempting to shame at all.



Stop threatening each other, stop fucking fighting already. If you don't like each other don't talk... not about each other either. Let it fucking go. It's a website. It's nothing to get worked up over. If you all really think you're going to get together and brawl over petty shit like this... I will point and laugh at you like the rest of the people in the world who do such idiotic things. =l



You people are my friends. I care about you. Which means I unfortunately expect a lot from you. I expect you all to be better than me. Better than you're being right now. Let it go.

COMMENTS

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Bones
Bones
03:24 Aug 03 2010

Mmmm, strawberries! ;)





sahahria
sahahria
03:34 Aug 03 2010

This entry could be applied to more than just the Internet. Kudos to you for voicing it.





atyourwindow
atyourwindow
03:55 Aug 03 2010

you have a point, sorry pd.





LadyDarkRayne
LadyDarkRayne
04:07 Aug 03 2010

Yes I totally agree with you.... enough is enough.





LadyKowe
LadyKowe
05:32 Aug 03 2010

*applauds* You've definitely said it, PD!





 

It's the simple things =D

02:19 Aug 03 2010
Times Read: 1,630


I have strawberries...





I have whipped cream....





Oooooooo yeah!









And I'm making waffles for breakfast!



Hells to the yes. *grins*

COMMENTS

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WildChild
WildChild
02:20 Aug 03 2010

yum waffles...





LadyDarkRayne
LadyDarkRayne
04:09 Aug 03 2010

mmm waffles with special butter too ? mmm breakfast for dinner si always good. But well ebing you work over nights wouldnt dinner be your breakfast anyways ? 0.o





 

oh kiddo

09:51 Aug 02 2010
Times Read: 1,651


well.. someday if you're up for it we'll have a conversation about your obsessive loathing for your maternal figure, your oedipus like relationships, and the viscious cycle you live in.



I guarantee you're not ready to hear it yet though.

COMMENTS

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QueenxMorbid
QueenxMorbid
21:27 Aug 02 2010

LMAO Go get 'em, PD!





BubbleGumClaudia
BubbleGumClaudia
12:54 Aug 05 2010

I'm ready to hear it!








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