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Deliberate, conscious feeding has been a struggle for me, for a long time. I'll be honest: I carry with me a lot of guilt about feeding (I am still dismantling it), and I think that's affected my process of learning how to consciously feed.

(This never meant that I couldn't feed; it just meant that I was feeding in destructive, under-the-table ways.)

The existing instructions on how to feed (distributed in the Psychic Energy Codex and others) aren't bad. But they're written primarily from the point of view who senses energy visually (you "see" it) or via tactile means (you "feel" it, as though it's an extension of your body).

I am realizing, as I refine my energy work, that when it comes to feeding, I operate primarily with smell and temperature sensations. If I feel for "warmth" when I'm standing in a crowd, I can come away with a perception of where the most readily-available energy is. If I can imagine someone's smell (or in the case of physical proximity, if I can actually smell them) I can lock in on that person's energy very precisely.

In the process of dealing particularly with smell (which is, of course, strongly related to touch) I'm beginning to expect that energy really is different from source to source. Everyone has their own "smell". Some people really do "taste" better or worse than others. And I expect that some kinds of energy will assimilate into the energetic system better than others.

(I think this is the approach the Kheprians take, with their caste system: they basically propose three "polarities" of energy, three basic types that assimilate differently. In a Kheprian triumvirate, Priests will prefer to feed off of Councilors will prefer to feed off of Warriors will prefer to feed off of Priests.)

In the process of really getting to know how I sense energy -- and not trying to force a square peg into a round hole, in terms of visualizations and the like -- I am also becoming more aware of energy in general. One of my big goals is to maintain a constant awareness of the energy around me, and taking those feelings seriously (while not looking completely nuts to everyone around me). I'm not there yet, but I am having some realizations at times when I'm not thinking about Nightside things -- which is good.

Finally: I am also realizing something simple, but powerful: the point of devouring energy isn't necessarily its quantity. You have to taste your food. Slowing down really does seem to allow a more thorough, and more nourishing, "pull" of energy -- at least for me.

I am gracious to the Undead for helping me come up with these methods, and helping me realize why I was having trouble sometimes. I also appreciate my adra's encouragement in thinking unconventionally (although any errors or stupidities are my own).