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2 entries this month

 

thoughts on the five vayus

07:29 Dec 25 2017
Times Read: 444


I'm reading some things about Tantric Hinduism and Buddhism, which are the channels by which we in the West have received a lot of our esoteric knowledge about energywork. To be clear: that's not to say that's where we get all of that knowledge from, and that's not to say the knowledge we have is perfectly representative of these ancient traditions, or doesn't involve any changes.

One of the bigger changes that's been made, to my eyes, is that while the Western esoteric traditions kept the idea of prana (the thing psychic vampyres, like me, consume for our optimal well-being), we lost the idea of the five "vayus" or winds.

Which is funny, because I get the impression that at least some of these five vayus will ring bells to us.

Here's a link with more information about the five vayus. I would describe them as such:

1) prana-vayu is freshly-indrawn energy, and is sometimes described as being like an inward breath. This is prana in its rawest form, before it's fully assimilated and integrated into the human body (i.e., rendered as one of the other four vayu). This energy sits in the chest, and flows upward toward the head.

2) samana-vayu, the vayu of processing and metabolism (ranging from food, to energy, to the integration of new ideas and experiences). This energy sits near the solar plexus, and moves from the edge of the energetic body, inward.

3) apana-vayu, the vayu of expulsion, which casts out any waste products (including carbon monoxide, urine, feces, menstruum, and energetic waste). I've heard this vayu is connected with sexual energy and orgasm, but Western sources tend to dance around this fact. It rests in the pelvic floor and lower abdomen.

4) vyana-vayu, which circulates substances throughout the body, and assists the other vayu. One source I am reading describes it as "holding the body together". This vayu is situated in the cardiopulmonary system, and in terms of its motion is the reverse of samana; it starts at the periphery, and moves in.

5) udana-vayu, which is the means of self-expression and growth, including speech. This is sometimes compared to apana because it too has a releasing, outward-moving function -- but this is also the energy of self-development and cosmic unfolding, and it is not coincidental that this energy is finally, completely released at death. It sits in the throat, and circles around the head and neck.

(If these seem obscure, I really recommend you take a look at the link I provided above. They give little exercises in how to feel each vayu and I am really looking forward to trying them out, when I have a free moment -- least of all because I think they'll serve as a diagnostic of what I need.)

Here are my thoughts, most of which are preliminary, many of which might be stupid. Do not take them as gospel.

- I suspect that "mandatory" energetic vampyrism (i.e., a condition where we feel very ill effects when we're in a state of Need) is actually an energetic processing problem: we cannot, or we have difficulty, rendering the prana we take in into one or more of the four other vayu.

- I would guess that the exact type vayu(s) you need will determine things like your preferred mode of feeding, as well as any ill effects you experience.

- I don't really have any solid thoughts on samana right now, but I will say that those of us who have depression (such as me), vitamin deficiencies, or even sensory-processing problems may lack samana. I also note that samana gathers in the solar plexus, which is where many of us feel our most acute hunger.

- Apana-vayu is, I think, a very common type of energy to consume. I think it's a strong component of the (admittedly mixed, various) energy given off by crowds, and I also think this is probably the energy that's easiest to skim off the auric surface of a donor. For deeper and more intense feeding, this energy is maybe most easily harvested via sex, although I find cuddling and siphoning from my partner's breath works OK.

- I think vyana-vayu is another common energy commonly lacked. I expect vyana is the vayu of shielding, among other things. If you are a vampyre who meets your needs by overstepping others' boundaries (q.v. the "classic", manipulative, negative psychic vampyre), I'd wager that you're feeding off vyana. I think getting vyana without doing undue harm, or acting dishonorably, is a struggle for many of us.

- Finally, I think udana-vayu's link to zhep'r can't be ignored. I've gathered the strong impression that often, psychic vampyrism involves drawing not just an abstract energy, but something decidedly unique to the individual: I think this is also what we mean when we talk about an individual's energetic signature. I strongly suspect that the ability to draw from, sense, and appreciate a donor's individuality (i.e., taste their udana) is part of the zhep'r process: if you can't appreciate someone else's essence, how can you properly appreciate your own?


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two heavy dreams.

23:27 Dec 12 2017
Times Read: 450


I've noticed a real uptick in spiritual dreams recently. I'm not sure what brought this about -- it could be an increase in ancestral and other spiritual work, a shift to the dark side of the year, a side-effect of my memorization work, or something else.

Last week I dreamt that I undertook a significant initiation (hopefully happening soon, in the waking world) into the vampyre community. I thought it was going to be a small affair, but it ended up being very large instead, with a significant number of visitors from Chicago's vampyre houses (I'm not aware of any houses in Chicago) showing up in my house's great room.

(I live in a communal living situation in real life; our great room has a large PA system and hosts many concerts and other events. A quabal here isn't out of the question, although I don't think we'd have any privacy to speak of, so some dark-themed concert would probably be better.)

If I'd known better how many would have arrived, I would have made some kind of arrangements -- hospitality or something! But instead I had to take my vows in front of something like 100 luminaries in the community ... all without the benefit of a PA system, because my house requires prior approval for any events that will use speakers. I had to PROJECT! to be heard.

Everyone was very kind and understanding anyway, and my oaths were word-perfect (which is what I'm striving for in waking life). As a token of my initiation I was gifted an "ankh", which did not look very much like an ankh at all. It was made up of three distinct parts, one for each vampyric caste.

(Now that I'm awake, I am not convinced this isn't the case for a normal, proper ankh. I would wager that the "hood" is for Kitra, the blade/descender for Mradu, and the crossbar for Ramkht.)

After everyone left and I was coming down from the event, I was examining the ankh, but noticed its construction was much flimsier than I'd thought. I put a little pressure on it, and one of the pieces snapped off! (I am not sure exactly what the piece was -- under duress, I think it was a chalice, for Kitra. I remember Mradu had a blade; I don't remember what Ramkht had.) Well, hell, I thought: I'd need to solder it back on. I'd preferably do this without my elders finding out -- but maybe I could sneak a word to one or two of them about it, and ask if they'd had a comparable experience -- or if I was just careless.

As I was thinking this and beginning to make plans, the other pieces began to snap off and disintegrate in my fingers. I woke up concerned and agitated.

I am trying to not view this dream as a bad omen.

Last night I had a smaller, less-unsettling dream: I met someone who had a special devotion to the Archangel Michael. He was wearing a scapular in Catholic style -- not quite as small and flimsy as a lay scapular, but not the large garment someone in consecrated life would wear.

I recognized it as emblematic of St. Michael, and complimented him on it. We had a lengthy conversation where we shared our experiences with the Archangel, particularly his loyalty and his honor. He comes through for people in their times of need, we both agreed.

... I am a little unsettled that the spirits are basically sending me advertisements for their services in my dreams ...


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