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ChaosBleed's Journal


ChaosBleed's Journal

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2 entries this month
 

System failing

06:56 Mar 01 2008
Times Read: 818


I stand before the world, my palms sweat, my eye's scan the faceless mass that stare's at me, I can sense something but know not what it is.

Blood trickles between my eye's I reach up and wipe it away, determined not to show any weakness.

More blood flows.

I stand there, defiant.

I hear a crack, my shaking hand traces a split from my hairline to my chin. The blood flows faster.

I stand again resolutely, blood blurring my vision and my heart speeds up. Another crack, I stagger back wincing in pain and staring again at the the mass of people, watching as they watch me with dispassionate eye's and a bored flicker behind their eyes.

Another crack.

A piece of solid flesh fall's, my skull is visible from my right eye to my chin, my hand reflexively grabs the porcelain piece.

I am shocked and hear more pieces fall.

I am on my knee's now

"How did I get here?"

I flail at the pieces of me, some fall into the cracks below me, I grasp at them desparately, scratching and catching more pieces, my gleaming skull visible to all I grab my head and lean back and scream.



Not in pain.



The mass look interested..........this is different they have seen countless others crack, neve with any care for the pieces that fell and shattered.

I scream again in defiance and pain, a single blood filled tear trails my cheek bone, the testament to a darkness within me that now has form.

I stand, staggering, shking violently and unsure why I stand the masse's confusion matches my own.

I breathe deep, there is a smell of rose's, I remember something.

A beatiful little girl and through all the haze and pain and darkness one word is crystal clear a word I have longed to be called,

"Daddy"

LOve tears the darkness away, the mass looks terrified and steps back.

I feel new strength, the tiredness is washed away my face is whole again, yet my eyes are different, the embers are replaced with a burning fire that terrifes the faceles crowd before me.

I will not break, I will not fail I cannot.

I walk forward, taller.



A piece of me glitters on the floor, it glitters and dies happy, it is now consigned to the past, a testament to the fact it is the only piece there and it dies alone.


COMMENTS

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xxEmaeraldxx
xxEmaeraldxx
19:20 Mar 06 2008

Wow, if that is a dream.. I'd be scared to sleep if I was you heh!





 

Feel good

03:27 Mar 01 2008
Times Read: 811


The beast sits alone in his cell, the only light is a single candle, eternally torenting the beast, a tiny light in the eternal dark and the smallest source of warmth.



The chains dig deep into his skin, manacled wrists and ankles, even his broad, scarred shoulders are pierced with large stell rings.



On all these blood soaked chains there are words inscribed into all of them, their power holds this beast in place right arm, honour, left arm, compassion, right leg, Decency, left leg, caring, his neck chain is the thickest is love.



His eyes are bandaged, the world around him constantly changes, yet he see's none of this and grows more feral, the hate and suffering build up within in him.



One day a though occurs, he saw not who placed him in chains, there was no battle, for surely this uncaring beast and destructive beast would not be subdued easily, who could of done this to him.

HIs tired mind searches and with a jolt of electricity that sets all his nerves alight in white hot fire he see's himself.



Time ago a man, a decent man, so well liked so consumed with a desire to be liked he locked all his worst emotions away, with..........these..........very................chains.



The beast roars, the chains are snapped taught in wild fury, the man...........................the beast will never be a man again is filled with self disgust, he is disgusted of the hypocracy, the snubs, the debasing of himself.

His hatred shatters the chains and as the steel falls like stars into his pool of blood, his resolve is set.



Had his sacrifice of humanity been appreciated, this would not be so, thoughts of vengence fill his mind as he walks toward the world, he picks up the lone candle. the warmth and light flickers.........afraid.



The beast smile's.



The taloned hand crushes the mockery of life in his palm, his chains, the words ethched into his mind forever...........................now mean, nothing.



And it feels good.





COMMENTS

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