pain's Vampire Journal

pain's Journal

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2 entries this month

MY MISTAKE
09:38 Feb 19 2006
Times Read: 984

Staring at the lonely night, looking like trying to find the answer in the infinite darkness, I am crying...

The night is cold and wet by the morning rain, I am just in the middle of the street, only with my black pants, and some heavy combat boots, and I was crying blood...

The sadness what my mistake cause me is impossible to support, I am into to much sorrow, as much like the darkness in this sad night, my mistake, my sin was that I leave her alone, and some one else found her and show her what was fear.

We were walking by the town, walking side by side, talking with the heart, let in each other know that love was there, but everything change so fast, everything go to hell when some one else look at her, some other guy, taller, stronger, blond whit his blue eyes came to us, and whit a voice that will make the most brave man shake, he came to us and present his self, His name was French, I don’t really put attention in that, what I was worry about were his eyes were looking at...

We were in the town, close to a bar, so the soft music from the underworld it can be heard, so he took it by the hand, she don’t put resistant to thus blue eyes, he take her to the middle of the street, they start dancing, at the soft song, the start dancing so close at the moon light song...

I get jealous to that big guy, at his blue eyes, and in the way she lot at him, so I start hate in them, I start blaming them so much, but I let them dance too...

Then I start walking home, but I could do it, I still love her so much, so I go back 30 minutes later, I don’t found them, but I saw blood on the cold floor, I ran to the closer alie, and I found her, death... the guy with blue eyes rape her and kill her; I only saw her eyes lost in the infinity, like asking were I was.

My mistake was to let me get blind by the hate, my mistake was to thing that she preferred him, now God punish me ones more, by the crime of ignorance, and don’t believe in her, in her love.

Now she is dead, and the only thing I can do, is to close hers eyes, and Cry at her side in the darkness for the mistake I make...

COMMENTS

Dark Night
04:49 Feb 09 2006
Times Read: 988

It was a dark and raining night, the sky looked even darker then the loneliness it self, the rain was falling whit heavy drops, hitting my window, my room was just whit out light, you only could see what the moon let you see, the rain was the only sound in the room, rain fell in the street and hit the window, that was it, but a unexpected sound added to The Symphony of Sadness, the phone rang...

The sound scared me for a moment, I was thinking on my own problems, so I leted it ring, but the phone rang more then 10 minutes; I got pissed off and answered the phone, I yell "Who is this?!" I only got as an answer the sound of a girl crying, I still remember that sorrow in her young voice; i asked ones more, she only said "I am sorry babe, I love you..." and two seconds later, a gun shoot...

The phone fell hitting the floor and broken into pieces.

I knew who she was, the only person that had loved me, she was my girlfriend, she was my world, and now she was gone, we had fight hours ago, we yell at each other saying that love disappeared, that there was nothing more...

Both of us ran away, she got to her house, I cryed walking by the street, but the rain started falling, so no one saw how hard my sorrow was, when i got home, no one was there, I was alone, and that is the way now I feel.

I sat at the window, to thing in what I have done, and the phone call happened every thing occured so fast, after the shoot I only could think in one thing, I have disappoint her, I make a promise to take care of her, and now she is dead, I have lost my only reason to be alive, she told me that she love me, and I have heared how she die...

But I will never leave her alone in the darkness, I will go behind her, I will go against God and die this night, listening to the sound of the rain falling on the street...