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This is a good one!!!



30 Things to stop doing to yourself....



30 Things....

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NLW
22:29 Jan 09 2012

These are good things to remember!

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SOCIALISM

You have 2 cows.

You give one to your neighbour.



COMMUNISM

...

You have 2 cows.

The State takes both and gives you some milk.



FASCISM

You have 2 cows.

The State takes both and sells you some milk.



NAZISM

You have 2 cows.

The State takes both and shoots you.



BUREAUCRATISM

You have 2 cows.

The State takes both, shoots one, milks the other, and then throws the milk away.



TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM

You have two cows.

You sell one and buy a bull.

Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows.

You sell them and retire on the income.



ROYAL BANK OF SCOTLAND (VENTURE) CAPITALISM

You have two cows.

You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows.

The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island Company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company.

The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more.

You sell one cow to buy a new president of the United States , leaving you with nine cows.

No balance sheet provided with the release.

The public then buys your bull.



SURREALISM

You have two giraffes.

The government requires you to take harmonica lessons.



AN AMERICAN CORPORATION

You have two cows.

You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows.

Later, you hire a consultant to analyse why the cow has dropped dead.



A FRENCH CORPORATION

You have two cows.

You go on strike, organize a riot, and block the roads, because you want three cows.



A JAPANESE CORPORATION

You have two cows.

You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk.

You then create a clever cow cartoon image called a Cowkimona and market it worldwide.



AN ITALIAN CORPORATION

You have two cows, but you don't know where they are.

You decide to have lunch.



A SWISS CORPORATION

You have 5000 cows. None of them belong to you.

You charge the owners for storing them.



A CHINESE CORPORATION

You have two cows.

You have 300 people milking them.

You claim that you have full employment, and high bovine productivity.

You arrest the newsman who reported the real situation.



AN INDIAN CORPORATION

You have two cows.

You worship them.



A BRITISH CORPORATION

You have two cows.

Both are mad.



AN IRAQI CORPORATION

Everyone thinks you have lots of cows.

You tell them that you have none.

No-one believes you, so they flatten you with bombs and invade your country.

You still have no cows, but at least you are now a Democracy.



AN AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION

You have two cows.

Business seems pretty good.

You close the office and go for a few beers to celebrate.



A NEW ZEALAND/WELSH CORPORATION

You have two cows.

The one on the left looks very attractive.

COMMENTS

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JustinV
12:32 Dec 12 2011

Who the hell needs Econ 101 when you have THIS!?!

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This past week was a very trying one for me. On an occasion, I get bouts of insomnia usually only lasting a day or two tops. This past week from Sunday morning until when I got up on Friday morning I guestimated 16 hours total for the week and a few of those were 1-2 hours in a nights worth. Finally Thursday I drank a lot of wine and went out like a light! I had a doc appt for that day and he gave me some Lunesta. I slept great last night and I am afraid to take the drug even if I need it. It is classified as a hypnotic.

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JustinV
04:12 Dec 09 2011

I always feel bad for people with insomnia. I've never really experienced it. I don't count staying up to all hours as insomnia and since, once I DO crawl into bed, I drop like a rock, I just can't imagine it. Hope it's temporary!

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tr1n1ty01
04:23 Dec 09 2011

You don't want it, trust me! I did not need the drug yet and back to normal. I also can stay up all hours without a problem ;) Just when I should be sleeping and can't UGH! Glad it happens on an occasion.

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