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Angels mock me

with their sweet whisper of love

Why do I keep convincing myself

I matter when I know I don't



How can anyone love me

hell I can't even love myself

So it all has to be lies

told to keep me hanging



I bet right now

you're sitting at home

Laughing at how stupid I am

how willing I tend to believe anything



And when you say the words I love you

I know you don't mean them

How could you

no one else does



So next time you say them

I'll just smile and repeat

Cause in the end does it really matter

you're still gonna leave



But I'll wait here and cry

wondering why I let myself believe you this time

When I've known all along

I mean nothing to you



Go ahead and say thoes words to me

the ones that stap and tare at my heart

I know you want to

Cause the angels mock me with your love



Jessie Martin

9-21-06

8:47pm

16yrs

Whisper to me,

words I love to keep,

Angels surround me and i know you're there,

doors close but you're my open window.



My salvation,

my love.

My heart and soul,

my tourniquet.



You don't even know,

that's how much I love you.

To keep it locked away,

to never hurt you.



When I'm gone,

will you know?

Just how much,

your love ment to me?



When the blood stops flowing,

and i'm as pale as the moon.

You'll read my letter,

then you'll know.



But always remember,

it's my fault not yours.

That I couldn't make it,

life's to hard.



So when I'm gone,

I just want you to know.

I love you,

my heart and soul.







Jessie Martin

8-31-06

Darkness,

all I see.

Silence,

all I hear.

Pain is all I feel.



I cry alone at night,

and i wonder.

Do you deserve this,

does it make someone happy?

Someone smile?



The pain in my heart,

my chest beats with it.

Knowing why it hurts,

yet unable to heal it.

Memories.



Seems like just yesterday,

they were laughin' and talkin'.

They were datin',

they were lovin'.

He wasn't gone.



All we have now,

are the bittersweet memories.

Of the times we shared,

the fun we had.

I can't believe he's gone.



People say there's a god,

but what loving god could take him?

Barely eighteen,

explain this to me.

Make me understand





R.I.P. Dustin we'll miss you



Jessie Martin

8-17-06

Alone.

My best times,

yet my worst.



Tired.

Of living,

of dying.



Scared.

Of you,

of my demons.



Angry.

At myself,

at who I am.



Happy.

To die,

to love you.



Frustrated.

Of lies,

of living without you.



Worried.

Of the future,

the past.



Determaned.

To live,

to love you.



Jessie Martin

2-22-06