Sentorans are Vampire Rave administrators that focus on Vampire Rave Profiles, Portfolios, and Journals. It stands to reason that these Sentorans need infinite patience, a good sense of humour, and probably have to give up their lunch to help maintain ToS...
Birra is one of these Sentorans and I knew I simply had to interview him to find out his views on his VR position, how he finds the time to ever relax, and if his sense of humour ever fails him...
I knocked on Birra's office door..."Feh..." said a voice and I knew instantly it was him. Birra being a man of few words seems to ably convey meanings with words I'm sure are entirely his own but now permeate e-dom (feh, heh, meh), and so I wondered if I'd get him to tell me what I wanted to know. Who is Birra? I asked:
"Who? Me? I'm just a guy. I'm pretty much what you see here; relaxed, easy going, not easily upset or offended. I like dinners by candle light, long walks on a moonlit beach, watching the Russian Women's Tennis Team wrestling naked in a vat of pudding... I used to joke that I'm your average guy online - filthy rich, twelve inch penis and I date exclusively European Swimsuit models... but everyone who knows me knows how untrue that is. I mean, I've never been to Europe... sadly, they've all been American Swimsuit models...
...and a few Canadian ones, too".
Heh, I thought, that was a good answer. Birra was a funny guy but I had suddenly realised something: Birra was so busy, he'd taken to using these short but very meaningful words simply because he juggled work, life and VR (a brilliant idea I thought, I'd better not take up too much of his precious time then) and I next asked him, why did Cancer choose you to be a Sentoran and what exactly does a Sentoran do?
He thought for a moment and I could see he was being modest when he told me:
"I haven't the foggiest idea... on any of that. Really.
Maybe it is all because I invented the words "Heh.." and "Feh.." You can claim I didn't actually invent them, to which I would respond, "Maybe not, but I made them what they are today."
You used to be a Dominar but your position has now been changed to Sentoran, is there a difference in the workload?
"Yes".
How do you go about keeping folk within ToS given that folk can be very 'protective' over their written stuff?
"It hasn't been an issue yet".
Is there a particular strategy you use?
"No".
Feh. I got the impression that Birra was now so busy, he didn't have time to answer frivolous questions like these. I hoped I could squeeze just a few more answers out before he got back to work...
I knew that Birra was a fantastic photographer. I wondered if it was just a hobby, or did he have aspirations to becoming the next Ansel Adams?
"Hmmm... Ansel Adams, eh? Probably not. I mean, if I were to become famous for my photography, I would hope the images would be far too offensive to be put in a mass-produced print rack at K-Mart..."
As I listened to his reply, I noticed his music collection...Pink Floyd, Talking Heads some seriously brilliant artists there, and what the feh? Oh, I'd better not mention that I noticed the Justin Bieber cd he was using as a coaster for his mega-strength coffee, dude that would destroy his VR-cred right away...swiftly moving on, I probed Birra more...you are the master of innuendo, does it get you into trouble much?
"Only online, where jokes tend to not translate well and people take themselves too seriously to find the humor in it.
Justin Bieber? Is that who this is? Hmmm... I think this is Morrigon's anyway... Heh".
I smirked at that, Birra enjoyed a snort and a guffaw as much as the next person. I wanted to know what he did for fun, or if he ever had time to kick back and smell the coffee?
"I make the coffee, I drink the coffee, I clean the coffee pot. I like to consider myself "well rounded" in the world of coffee.
What do I do for fun? Well, I like to spray water on sidewalks in winter and make videos of people falling. It's funnier because I don't know them.
It's also enjoyable to cook. I always say, the ability to cook is only limited by bravado and creativity. You can pass off anything as gourmet with the right attitude about it.
Oh, and I really enjoy discussing uncomfortable truths just to watch people react! Like mentioning something like, you exist because your father had an orgasm inside of your mother. Most people never really consider that, but the mechanics of it are, your mom and dad probably had a LOT of sex in their day. Hey, maybe they still do... maybe they are, right now".
Meh, it had been a good interview, but I wanted to squeeze one last titbit out of him. Three words Birra - no, not feh, heh, meh - give me three words that describe you please: mad, bad, lad, or...?
"Three words? Hmmm... let's see...
I
Smell
Good".
Gah, I should have known. Birra did use the English language competently after all. It was time for me to take my leave. I had enjoyed speaking to him and hoped it wouldn't be too long before he'd completely re-written everyday language, gawd-knows we all needed a break from words of more than one syllable.
"You mean like, Heh and Feh? Yeah.. I think I should rewrite the language, for sure! Heh".
Thanks Birra!
All pages by PAGAN
Page last updated: Jun 30 2011
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COMMENTS
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DarkMemoir
19:54 Jun 30 2011
I LOVE this!
Sulks
20:06 Jun 30 2011
Birra is cool.
ChaoticWhispers
20:12 Jun 30 2011
haha spraying water on sidewalks in winter, bad birra. but he needs to record anbd youtube those ! haha
birra is definatly cool :)
TheArtistRose
21:05 Jun 30 2011
"Only online, where jokes tend to not translate well and people take themselves too seriously to find the humor in it."-Quote
His words are so true and once again, even though I may not type to someone like him I do read his journals or kismets and laugh. It's enjoyable. :) His humor is witty.
PAGAN
21:09 Jun 30 2011
I have to say, I laughed lots when I read his answers :)))
I agree with that quote Rose. Being online, its pretty difficult to tell if folk are taking offense to something we say because there are no facial expressions to judge a persons feelings by.
I can only hope that whatever I say online is never taken as offensive.
Vampirewitch39
09:36 Sep 03 2011
Having meet the men a few months ago I can say- He does I smell good. lol And has a smile that can melt butter.
Great person. :)