You know yesterday I thought that I was going to be alright after all, most of the day I wore a smile on my face and felt rather buoyant. Then when I went to lay my head on my pillow at the end of my day I burst out in tears sobbing uncontrollably. I cried for all the pain I have suffered in the last year, lost loved ones and lost love. Today was a new day and so I tried once again to pick up the pieces and of course this just happened to be the day that a certain person that has been holding my heart hostage for so long decided to give me the answers I had been asking for. Needless to say they weren't the ones I had wished for but the ones I had expected. I tried my best to deal with it with as much decorum that I still might have held and it was quite a trial. But I walked away with my pride intact I am happy to say and I know that someday these wounds too will heal.
Well today is Valentines Day and this is the first year I have been single in like 20 years lol. What am I whining about, thats a pretty good streak. But the one I thought I would be with I am not and it makes me kinda sad. He lead me down a path, got scared and ran away....haha, oh well. I'm still holding out for true love maybe I'll find it someday.
Well Friday was my birthday and I had a kick ass time. About 16 of my friends and I reserved a room at a local restaurant and met for dinner, afterwards we went out to Boom Town a local bar and danced and partied till we shut the place down! I hurt everywhere, I haven't been dancing in so long lol. Got to meet a lot of hot guys which was a bonus tee hee....wow did I get wasted, spent all day yesterday recovering.
I finally got to talk to you know who about things and our visit. We are thinking about making another go of it, but not sure yet as to how I truly feel about things. Do I have the patience to wait for him? Does he even deserve another chance with me? I'm really confused and need to remember my pride.
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