Hell Hound are chasing me... what do I do?
20:30 Jul 23 2007
Times Read: 884
Damn- had the Hell’s Hound dream again. Damn Vamp Box comment! Told my sisters about this last night, thinking it would go away. But NOOOO… Maybe if I write it out. Worth a shot. lol
My hound has two heads- not three. Figures I would have a deformed hound. And it’s set up as a live info commercial filmed outside in a lovely neighborhood. I am the person in front of the camera, selling the item. Yea- what is wrong with this picture, right?? LOL
“Is your Hell Hound out of control? Can you not keep him from killing the pets of your friends?” Behind me is a little poodle- and its running as the hell hound chases it. Now- remember I am an animal lover, so in my dream it’s a remote control poodle. So…guess that means it is rolling as fast as its little wheels can go. ^.^
Anyway- the poodle hits the bushes, and the hound goes right in after it. You hear a crunch, crunch…then the hound comes out. One head has poodle hair hanging from its mouth, and the other has the pink ribbon the poodle was wearing hanging from its teeth. Both heads are smiling.
I turn back to the camera, getting a little frighten of the hound. You ever had that feeling of “This is not the smartest thing I ever agreed to do.”? Well- having that.
Then a man comes into the frame and he is a mailman. Bag over his shoulder, shorts on, walking along. I start the commercial again. “Is it ruining your mail service, the delivery of all those important packages? Has UPS stop coming to your door?”
I watch as the hell hounds heads growl, the mail man looks up and the chase is on. The mailman heads for a tree and starts to climb, the hounds biting him in the ass. This is when I am thinking this is a little to real for me as his screams fill the air. From a funny dream to horror.
“Go on…say it.” I am told from the crew behind the camera. Urged to continue over the screaming I do. All I can figure is I must have been paid well. “Have you tried all the normal ways to stop the bad behavior of your hound? With little or no success?”
A man steps forward and the hounds let the mail man’s ass go, turning on him. The poor guy looks around, and back to the camera crew…who motion him forward. He steps up, and using the rolled news paper, hits one of the hounds on the nose. Both of the heads stop growling and just look at the man, stun I am thinking.
I have that moment of “This is going to work” just before the other head bites the man’s arm off. More screams. Then the crew yells out to “Suck it up cupcake and use the bottle.” I watch as the man uses his one arm, watching the hounds heads fighting over his severed arm, pull out a water bottle. Yes- a water bottle. Hey- don’t blame me… I don’t control my dreams. I mean they are like a low budget horror move most nights. *giggles*
He sprays the hounds in the faces and I hold my hand up like a student to get someones attention. “Doesn’t that just work on cats?” Another arm is bitten off and I watch as the man runs off, bloody torn sleeves hanging from were his arms had been. Thinking this commercial will never air, was so fucked up, I turn to leave but the man behind the camera tells me to finish.
“You have got to be kidding me, right?” He tells me no. I pick up the package, and smile into the lens, thinking lets just get this over with. “Stop right there. You need nothing more then this wonderful device. At only $1.99 you can afford to get two or more. The time honored dog whistle tames the hounds…” I stop reading the cue cards and look at them. “You have to be shitten me. You think this little metal tube is going to tame that freaking beast??” Now I was pissed. I know… I know… took me long enough. LOL
I hear a growl, and turn to see they had finished eating the arms. Watching them licking their lips I tear into the package, cussing who ever invented plastic that seals tightly to cardboard. Finally, I start to back up as I blow the freed whistle. The dogs ears flicker, and they stop. I smile, but then they made the connection- whistle made pain. Stop the whistle, and you stop the pain. Yes- I did not drop the damn whistle, or stop blowing it. That would have been the smart thing to do, wouldn’t it? O.0
They growl, I start to run, and that is how the dreams ends. Me being chased by a two headed deformed Hell Hound, as I blow a dog whistle. See what I get for being a smart ass toward people. ROFL.
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