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18 entries this month
04:47 Sep 30 2010
Times Read: 543
I am moving into my apartment in 2 days. =) I am getting super excited!
So.....I may or may not have any internet access. If I don't, I won't be on for about a month or two.
Not sure. =S
03:41 Sep 21 2010
Times Read: 560
I am getting a cold. I can feel it in my ears.
You know that stuffed full of cotton feeling?
Started with a bit of coughing and runny nose, but now I have pressure in my head, and I ate some chicken today and had a mild reaction to it.
THAT is when I know my immune system is down, when the things I have a mild allergy to start actually giving me reactions.
=(
I just got over a cold dangit!
01:32 Sep 21 2010
Times Read: 564
I sometimes miss you....
The only thing I miss is our conversations. You were my best friend after all, first.
You will always have a place in my heart, and I will never forget you, even though I never really knew you. Even though you lied about many things.
I honestly cannot wish bad things on someone. The last year has taught me a lot. I have grown and learned from things. Even if some were harsh lessons.
I just had to get that off my chest though. I miss having that friend I could tell anything to, and give me wise advice.
But I don't miss anything else.
05:57 Sep 19 2010
Times Read: 579
Why why WHYYYY am I watching this garbage????
It has Shannon Doherty in it, so you know it's bound to be crap anyway!
It's just so retardedly corny that you just have to keep watching. @_@
05:52 Sep 19 2010
Times Read: 580
And the countdown begins to October 1st, when I move into my brand spanking new apartment! YAY!
Sooooo excited! I booked 3 days off so I can get all settled into my new place then.
I am just sick of being here already.
And I will be without internet for a while as well, since I have to take care of my damage deposit first. So maybe for October and November MAYBE, I won't have internet.
And that's ok.
It's worth it being able to have my first apartment. =)
06:11 Sep 13 2010
Times Read: 589
This weekend has been pretty good.
Friday I went to my friends place after work. We stayed in and watched movies until about 3 am.
I woke up at 6:30 and went back home, and at 8 me and a lady from my church drove to Calgary to go to a few church stores. I loved it. And slept on the way back.
I was supposed to be helping out at a corn roast at the church but we came back from Calgary too late, but everyone understood.
Today I went to church and today was just a beautiful day.
When I got home.....my neighbor from downstairs came up, then went back down.
To wait to talk to me.
He said he was glad he caught me because he thought it seemed like I was avoiding him and he wanted to talk to me.
I said no I am not avoiding you, I have been gone and busy most of the weekend and I already know that the landlord called you.
And then he said that I lied to the landlord and told him that he lost his temper on me. I said no I didn't say that, I only repeated to the landlord what he had said about not having church meetings going on. And then he said that is not what the landlord said, so why are you lying about me?
Ugh.
Again I said, I am not lying, I told him WHAT you said to me. It is the way you say things that come off rude.
He said like how?
I said LIKE NOW!
Anyway, it was real uncomfortable and he probably thinks I am still lying, but I just don't give a rats ass. He wouldn't even LOOK at me while talking to me.
So whatever. I said that me moving out is a good thing and I just don't want to be around people anymore and I am sure he would like to have the place back to himself and I was very excited to have my FIRST apartment.
The rest of the night I hung out upstairs with the family that lives there and I helped a bit with dinner and watched a movie on tv, and then we had dinner and then came back down to my little dungeon.
I can't wait for October 1st and be in my OWN place. =)
04:41 Sep 09 2010
Times Read: 600
Piano lessons were fun! For half an hour I went on the computer and did some lessons on there while I waited for her to finish with her one student. Then we went to the baby grande piano and she guided me through my work book.
Talk about uncoordinated!
Plus it was 7 pm, I never had dinner either so my brain was fuzzy. so many things to look at in the work book. Good thing there wasn't a lot to do.
And I have homework. ^_^ I have this lil roll up plastic keyboard I can practice on lol
I love this. =)
Also because of my finance situation and moving and all, she said we can work something out for my payments. I still have to pay for my books.
She is coming into my clothing store tomorrow and we will work something out. She may even have a business proposition for me too.
Which is good, considering I need a part time job now.
Again.
15:50 Sep 08 2010
Times Read: 605
I start my piano lessons tonight. =)
06:32 Sep 08 2010
Times Read: 617
Online dating.
~cringes~
If anyone knows about it, I would definitely be someone who does.
Why?
BECAUSE I AM STILL DOING IT!!!!
I have been through many ups and downs and creeps. Why is it so easy to become emotionally attached to someone you don't even really know and haven't even met, AND probably live far away from you.
Like try, another Country.
I am guilty for it. Farthest one I believe was in Norway.
I know a lot of relationships have been successful through online dating, even long distance ones, but the only way for it to work is if both parties are committed to actually having a relationship. And an honest one at that.
I have been lied to, manipulated, had my heart strings pulled, and cried for days over men I have met online.
So why do I keep doing this to myself? Haven't I lived and learned yet?
Apparently not!
My problem is I completely give my heart over 100% to the man, and jump in head first into a relationship. I don't hold anything back, and I wear my heart on my sleeve.
I love love. I love being loved, and I love to share my love. Love is a wonderful feeling. Though there are different kinds of love and it is so easy to get them confused with another.
I could easily love anyone. Really. I am sure others could as well. We have a lot of love in us to give. There is also a difference between love, and lust.
I have loved most of the men I have been in a relationship with, on and offline.
It doesn't matter what site you are on, you could find love anywhere.
I have had my fair share of relationships online and off. And also, some of them WERE bad for me that were actually physical.
And now again, I have met someone, online a few months ago. Taking it slower this time as we BOTH have been hurt in the past. So we are both conscience of that fact and do not want to hurt each other or be hurt.
And I know I love him.
I just wish for it to be real love, that can grow and blossom into something beautiful and mutually.
At least we live closer to each other, so it's not like it's completely undo-able.
I have hear the line many times from men, " I am different then other guys." PFFFT! YEAH OKAY!
You were ALL the SAME!
Though this one, this one, he is different. And I can say that, knowing it to be true, because he is making me take it slow, and just enjoying each other. We aren't "dating" because we haven't even met yet, but we both know that we are the only ones we are interested in right now, and there is no one else in the picture.
I hope to keep it that way, because he sure does keep my attention.
I feel more focused on the things I want, in a man and in life.
Life though, comes first, and this he also knows. and I told him that is just another reason why I love him all the more, because he understands me.
And I understand him.
That is all. =)
23:15 Sep 07 2010
Times Read: 628
Changed my profile pic. =)
17:17 Sep 07 2010
Times Read: 635
Yesterday went well. I signed the paper for the apartment, and movin on in October first.
I have to do some homework and find out expenses for things. I have to hook up my power which she said could be 200$.
I may have to live without internet for a while. Which is kinda bad since that is how I keep in touch with everyone, including work.
I don't make a lot of money, but I am praying I can do this. I believe it was meant to be. I may go to my church after doing some figuring out and ask for help. And I know they would help too.
I am super excited, because this would be my FIRST apartment. A space to call my own. No sharing, no putting up with people. My own space to do what I want and decorate how I want.
I am just really happy.
Though I hate having to tell my landlords I am moving out of here, they are really nice, but I will not put up with living uncomfortable because of another tenant.
Good thing I haven't completely unpacked.
15:54 Sep 06 2010
Times Read: 652
I am going to be moving, AGAIN. I just can't take this guy I have to share the basement with. He is rude and arrogant. And I am going to tell the landlord EXACTLY why I am moving out.
I go to church and I had people over the other day from church. He comes into the kitchen then mumbles about wanting to make his dinner as he walks back to his room. So me and my guests go outside, though everything is wet because it rained most of the day.
When they leave and I come back downstairs, buddy says to me, "You can have friends over, just bring them in your room."
I say. "I can't do that because that is against church policy. They are Missionaries and I am not allowed to be alone with them and especially not in my room. "
"What kind of church says that?"
"Mormon"
"I don't want no f**king church meetings going on here."
Well screw you buddy. Last time I checked I paid rent here too. I should be able to have whoever I want in the common area. For one I have nowhere for anyone to sit in my room.
So yeah, I complained to some people and my ex roomie said the apartment next to her is going to be available next month. I asked her to talk to the Manager who said she would love to rent to me, but I have to get back to her asap.
Today after work I am going over to talk to her. It's just that I don't make a lot of money. I would have to pay damage deposit and rent. I also start piano lessons on Wednesday and have to pay the teacher 80$, I owe my ex roomie 50$ still, I am buying a computer off my friend for 200$, I have to get my meds 25$, I need to buy minutes for my phone 40$. And then still food.
So we shall see. Maybe I can make some deals with peeps and go from there. I will just be doing a lot of praying.
I prayed for an affordable apartment to become available somewhere, and suddenly there is. I also know the girl that lives there and I am going to help her pack tomorrow because she broke her leg and has a cast right now, though she is getting it off on Tuesday but will still be on crutches.
Funny thing too, the Missionaries challenged me this week to pray to have a Missionary experience.
Then I find out about the apartment, my friend contacts me, and ding ding! I offer to help her pack. Good deed = Missionary work. She had also prayed that someone would help her pack, then I come along.
We also started talking about church and stuff and I invited her to come on Sunday. So we shall see. Also= Missionary experience.
God works in mysteries ways and He sometimes answers our prayers very quickly when we need those answers. =)
06:22 Sep 04 2010
Times Read: 665
I wish my DVD remote wasn't a piece of crap. I just bought the thing. Now I have to watch all the previews (not always a bad thing) I can't access subtitles, or if I have to stop the movie I can't do scene selections.
I should be trying to sleep, but instead I am watching movies, cause I have like 21 I took out from the library, and most are due back on the 7th. And I have 5 waiting for me at the library.
So I think I am going to switch off my lights, and watch Mulan 2. =) I haven't seen it yet, but I feel like watching a cartoon.
Good night.
06:50 Sep 03 2010
Times Read: 687
Stuck On You.
Has anyone else seen this movie? With Matt Damon and Greg Kinnear. They are Siamese twins.
I'm loving it. Hehehe.
08:46 Sep 02 2010
Times Read: 702
Well there's like an hour or so I won't be getting back of my life.
The movie The Brotherhood....DON'T WATCH IT!!!!
Unless you really want to see bad acting in a porn like vampire movie.
I really don't get why those boys had to be in their briefs for the ritual? And two boys in their underwear sucking on the arms of a chick in her panties and bra, wiggling around like she ....Well, ya know.
Not worth my time!
02:21 Sep 02 2010
Times Read: 726
I think I may need to put in a recipe section cause I am making this Maple, Walnut & Flax pancake recipe and it is melting in muh mouth.
=)~ So nommy.
08:01 Sep 01 2010
Times Read: 736
07:40 Sep 01 2010
Times Read: 734
I think we got off on the wrong foot way back when. After all, I believe you did try to warn me of a certain somebody, right? And yes, you were right. That person cannot be trusted. There is no more Pinky and Brain.
Brain is a liar. A BIG one at that. HUGE!
P.S. I like your journal, always have. Always a good read.
And, yes people can change, and yes there is always still a part of them that will not. I am hoping everything I do is for the better. I have found God again. And that alone makes me happy, and life has turned around. Though I am changing more. I feel like I am being cornered and I find myself clawing at the walls to escape.
I dislike this town. The only thing that keeps me here is my job and people I work with, and church and the people who I have come to love.
This job though, I can only survive paycheck to paycheck. I am craving something new and am very limited.
And certain friends, seem only to be temporary. And all of them drink. I am getting tired of that scene, really. It only got me in trouble. I have God to thank for getting me out of it.
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