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2 entries this month
I Remember
14:02 Dec 20 2007
Times Read: 661
I remember my grandpa, not in those clear Kodak images like the first sight of my babies but in a hazy dreamlike quality.
He was so skinny! He must have had the boniest lap in Missouri but I didn't care, I could have sat on his lap forever. My brother and I would take turns sleeping in his bed at night when we stayed at his house, and he would never once complain. I am sure it must have bothered him because in between tossing and turning sprees, I would have conversations with myself, the wall, whatever.
I remember the Easter egg hunts and Christmas'. The big family dinners with Grandpa falling asleep in front of THE GAME. He used to always slip us grandkids money (rarely anything over a dollar) and telling us not to tell Grandma. We kids always felt like partners in some great conspiracy, at least I did, until one day when grandma asked me how much he had slipped me. She knew the whole time.
Grandpa used to take me fishing. I caught my first fish with him right there beside me, helping me. He made such a big deal over this little fish that fit in the palm of his hand. You would have thought it could feed the whole family for a week.
I remember us sitting down to dinner one evening, one unforgettable evening. Grandpa couldn't sit still, didn't feel so good. Aunt Elaine drove him to the hospital but it was already too late. I knew it was, I think everyone did, but they had to try. He was already gone on the inside before he had even stood from that table.
I was so mad, so mad at him. He was supposed to take me fishing on my birthday but he wasn't there. He had died a week before. I don't fish anymore. It is sort of like if I can't go with him, I don't and won't go. It is a matter of honor. That was our thing.
I remember his smile. I see it in my mind at times of greatness in my life. I know that he is as proud of me for just being a good mother as he would have been if I was world reknown for saving the planet.
I remember the feel of his arms around me. I can still feel them. He was there at my worst times, and at my best times. The birth of my children and when I fell in love. When I laugh and when I cry.
The only thing I don't remember is telling him how much he has meant to me in my life. I think he knows, I hope he knows.
My Protectors06:27 Dec 15 2007
Times Read: 669
These are my protectors and friends. I love them all dearly and will not allow anyone to mess with them.
DedLocke~my best friend and the one person I could not do without on this site or off. My world was made brighter the day I met this man.
IgoreVanDorn~This gentleman has been there for me through many tough times, always lending a hand, or a shoulder to cry on. I don't know what I would do without him.
HellsGuardian69~A dear friend. Every conversation with this man is an adventure all its own. He has brought a light to my life that is undescribable.
Chordewa~I am proud to call this wonderful woman sister. Her wisdom and grace shine through no matter what.
nks534~This beautiful woman has taught me that to grow you must have strength through adversity and a bright spirit always. I am proud to call her sister.
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