The Ultimate Vampire Resource and Directory

Reason 1



As we know Chuck Norris has slept with every superhero and supervillen chick in the Marvel universe with the exception of the white queen only becuse she is a STD infested Ho bag. riveld only by Paris Hilton. But He has been know to make cyclips his little bitch on a few occasions so that pretty much counts.



Reason 2



A little know fact but Chuck Norris was the first X-Men but at that time thay were thinking of calling it the C-men, Chuck put a stop to that by claiming that was the trem he used for the atlantians which really were his seamon.



Reason 3



professer X thought he could control Chuck norris whith his mind powers, it only seemed to make chuck mad so he round house kicked professer x in the spine and put him in the wheel chair. (He calls his wheel chair the Enterprise. It regularly receives visits from Number 1 and Number 2.)



Reason 4



Cyclops use to shot his lassers out his butt, until one night with Chuck norris.



Reason 5



Franklen Richards came about after chuck Norris used the invesable women for a condom for a full year.



Reason 6



Prior to captin america, the red skull was gonna be the arch nemises of chuck norris, that was untill chuck ripped off his face and peed on his skull staining it that coler.



Reason 7



One time the Incredable Hulk challanged Chuck norris to a flexing contest, He was so sickend by the defeat that he turned green and has been that way ever since.



Reason 8



Frank castle is'ent punishing crimenals becuse of the death of his wife and kid. It's becuse he looked over the diveder at the urinal and went insain with jealousy of Chuck norris's penise.



Reason 9



Spider man Has 8 appendages but is forced to grow back 4 of them every 3 weeks or so becuse chuck norris veiws the as a delicacy and a good source of fiber.



Reason 10



Thors hammer is just a pice of Chuck norris's petrified crap from after he ate 6 billion dinasars.



Reason 11



Every pice of furniture in chuck Norris home is a total gym



reason 12



On Chuck Norris birth day every year, Chuck norrisSelects one lucky child to throw in to the sun.



Reason 13



The cuban missel crises ended when prisedent Kennady threatend to use Chuck Norris agaist them.



Reason 14



when chuck norris was 8 years old he raped michael Jackson.



Reason 15



The national anthem of vietnam is just a gragling of chuck norris balls. ( Open wide)



Reason 16



When Chuck Norris beats his dog for peeing on the rug he does it right in frount of peata headqurters.



Reason 17



Math was invented as a way to keep Chuck Norris's body count.

COMMENTS

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Bijou
17:51 Oct 28 2009

If you can see Chuck Norris you fine, but if you can't then you may be seconds away from death.



Chuck Norris shaves with barbwire



LOL i have a whole book of these, 400 facts about chuck Norris it's awesome

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MysticalChild
19:50 Nov 19 2009

*laughs and laughs*

i love these!

so hilarious



i'm sorry it took me so long to read them though

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