The Ultimate Vampire Resource and Directory

Allow me to take a moment to make shit up
18:51 Jan 15 2011
Times Read: 509




Shiny toy guns made this song called "Armadillos crossing" that made me wonder a lot about armadillos and why they cross things. So, obviously, an experiment was necessary.

For this experiment i would have to observe armadillos in a cross-friendly environment, encouraging them to cross things so i could deduce what motivations they might have to do so.

Minutes passed, and still i could not find any armadillos.

FInally giving up, i decided drastic measures were required.

After i got kicked out of the zoo for reasons i won't divulge here, i decided slightly less-drastic measures were required.

Deans Party Mania offered a wide selection of animal costumes, but i had to patch the crotch in my armadillo costume because for some reason it was missing. idk what people there think halloween is.

Anyway, after donning my now-crotch-bearing armadillo costume that i was sure i would not be arrested if i got too close to a school in, i decided to do armadillo things. Again, i had no armadillos to observe as i got kicked out of the zoo for reasons i think the law actually forbids me from saying on the internet, i looked up a bunch of youtube videos about armadillos to see what sorts of things they did in their spare time.

They didn't cross things as much as i'd expected, but after ten seconds of a documentary i got bored and switched to watching people spin them on their backs.

This looked like fun, so to really get into the mindset of an armadillo i laid on my back and spun around for a bit.

Confident that i had successfully undergone the mental shifts necessary to emulate my armadillo compadres, i set out into the world, scaring people of all shapes and sizes (ages too, perhaps).

And that's why i'm in this hospital and need someone to verify that i am not actually nearly as insane as they seem to think i am.

Also, they don't have any chocolate here, so if someone could bring me some of that too, that'd rockmysocksoff.

They refuse to spin me.