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So I want feedback on this. As of late there have been a lot of males approaching me that eventually open up about something. About being on the receiving end of physical abuse. I wanted to help these few people feel better because they have become good friends. The way I put it was this for example. A few people told me that during the act of being hit that they tried to get away or hold the attackers arms but never hit back. Most of the attackers have been women. I've heard these people tell me how they felt for example they say they feel weak or useless. Some even wonder if they actually deserved it. (Now mind you we talk for a while, they don't come right up front with this.) The best way I could try to help was explaining it like this. Compare a good guy to a good dog. Both loyal and caring, protective, would do anything to air their human/partner happy. if one day the human/partner decides to beat their ass, they have to decide to be a good dog or a bad dog. I used a dog and owner for the example. Now it's not fair but a good dog would take the smack and not fight back or would run away. A bad dog would fight back. Why is the dog defending himself a bad dog? because when dogs/men decide to bite(hit) their owners, it is frowned upon same as men are not allowed to hit women. So the good dog or good man is supposedly supposed to take it or go away. If the person decides to be a good dog, it could also be because he doesn't want to see the consequences of biting/hitting his human and hurting her in a way he could never take back. A "God dog" still has feelings for his human and wonders why this is happening and it messes up their feelings. what do you think? is that a fair comparison? Granted beating dogs is wrong and disgusting same as physical abuse. It's just an example but I thought it would kind of fit.

COMMENTS

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Dakotah
16:42 Jun 22 2016

I am not sure I like your comparing of the dogs. A girl I dated once slapped me. I got up and walked out and never spoke to her again. I have never and never will hit a woman. I had a friend once who was in abusive relationship. He never hit her back. She liked to throw things at him and once hit him and he had to have stitches. I advised him where to go for help. I do not play Junior Therapist with people's lives. He did go for help and ended up leaving her. About the best thing you can do is tell people where to go for help. There are shelters and such. That is about all you can do. Some will choose to stay in toxic relationships no matter what. But I also know its dangerous to get involved in these situations too.

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XxDreamCatcherxX
21:28 Jun 22 2016

It's not meant to be demeaning. You are taking the concept completely wrong. Remember when I said loyal and caring? Would do anything to make the other person happy? Is this not found in relationships? That's the point I was getting at rather than someone getting offended at the dog part lol

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Gristle
03:21 Jun 26 2016

Women do exactly this, though, too. It's a trait of abuse - you don't fight back, you don't say/do anything, you internally agonise and blame yourself over what's happening to the point you feel you deserve it, you're so guilty that you almost WANT it, because you feel you, the victim, have fucked up, done something bad, aren't good enough.



Fear of hitting back and having the police called on you, the victim, is an issue, especially as a male, but it's not the sole reason for accepting abuse - I doubt it's more than 20% of the psychological component behind "taking" the abuse (fear of then being prosecuted for being the abuser, not the victim).

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