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Life20:39 Oct 02 2010
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Child hood was horrible for me. I was never taught the skills that most kids in a decent home would learn as they grow. Such as healthy coping skill, social skills, and there are many other skills I still have yet to learn. After become a parent I never took too much time to dwell on this factor until today. I am discovering that it is incredibly difficulty to teach your kids something you never learned yourself. I am a great mom and wife. I always put my family first.
With that said, however, there are areas I need to work on. How to teach a child to cope with childhood/teenage issues when I am struggling to cope with the everyday stresses of living from paycheck to paycheck. Self help books help for a while, but nothing in a book can take the place of true life value lessons. I am learning them quickly with a crash course. I just hope im good enough that I don't screw up my kids' life the way mine was.
It is getting better and were both stubborn but she is picking up quicker than I expected. When I was a kid my parents held true to the idea that kids aren't to know the budget and finances that the adults have to deal with. So upon growing up I didn't know the first thing about credit, checking accounts or money managment. As an adult I have struggled with this. Come to find out after both parents have passed away that they were worse with money managment then I have been. As I am learning better ways to take care of this, I am staying true to taking the path less taken and teaching my children as I learn that its ok to know the family budget and where the money comes from and where all it goes.
The other taboo subject as a kid was sex. My stepmothers idea of the grow up talk was, sex hurts so don't do it. So I graduated high school at nineteen and a virgin. Then went into the military and well sex is freakin fantastic, but as a mom this isn't something I want to tell my kids but neither is what I was told. So thus im at a cross roads. She will be dating soon and I am trying to prepare her with reality. Does anyone out there know a good route that has worked for them. For me this is scary, she is growing up so damn fast.
Well for today that is about it.
Jenn
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COMMENTS
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xgarfieldsgirlx
16:25 Oct 10 2010
Just tell her the truth and she will decide for herself what is right or wrong. Don't put yourself down she is smarter than you think about things. She has your values whether you think so or not.
I am sure you have done a great job raising her and she will be ok. If she stumbles along the way just pick her up and love her for who she is and go on. It will all work out in the end and you will see that you have done a good job Mom.
tigerzplay
17:37 Oct 10 2010
Thank you sometimes I think I just need to hear that I dont have to be perfect.
Theban
09:59 Oct 22 2010
I often remember my mum saying to me it will mean more to sleep with the woman you'll stay with forever than to sleep around. She was right.
Be honest with her and be there for her when she needs you.
tigerzplay
17:18 Oct 22 2010
I have always been honest with my children.
Silverhawk
11:32 Nov 06 2010
This turns out to be a problem for a lot of parents. I was molested at the age of three and even though my parents gave me a sex talk at age 9-10, the point was kind of moot.
I have two kids, a boy and a girl and since they were old enough to walk and talk, I've taught them about inappropriate touching and to always come tell me or their dad about "anyone" touching them or having them try to touch someone else in their private areas.
As a Cubmaster, I have found this subject to be hard for a lot of parents, but having to mentor kids on a regular basis, I take advantage of BSA's training films and every new parent and boy signed up will watch about the "Rules," a comprehensive regarding situations that could put them at risk and the importance of two-deep leadership.
I think in a sense that is important at home..two-deep leadership. When you sit down together with your partner with your kids and candidly approach this topic together, it will make more of an impact.
As for what I've taught my own kids, I've told them each that sex is a wonderful aspect of having a solid relationship, but it doesn't make one. Although they have an amazingly blessed life compared to the one I had, I also make sure they understand that not everyone has a family like theirs, that even kids in their own class may be going home to abuse of some kind.
Don't be afraid to talk to your kids, even though you're not sure to go about it, there are a lot of really great ways to approach the topic and you may find help with this from your pediatrician, counselors, or even your local Boyscouts of America chapter.