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The remains of Christmass lay shatterd on the floor, blown glass decorations from the 1800's smashed under foot crushed like any hopes a dreams for one last good christmass with family destoryed gone..... and over



The drink has had me as of late even right now good morning liqure for brakefast.... why? Why not there is nothing left out there for me.



Several times I tryed to rally round, tryed to fix all my broken holes.... and for what? and so I smash myself again.



The little distractions like World Of War Craft are just that a distraction from some other demon.... one knawing at me like some razor sharp teeth of some beast tryed to drag me off some slip made of lose boards off into an ocean to be torn apart by other things unseen.



The last girl i was interested in said I let my self go to far I went out there too far.... away from everything.... maybe shes right maybe im lost out here.... I know who I am.... but I also know my ever growing disgust for haveing to deal with these...... humans.... these things



there is no escape



the cage is too big



12:00 till 8:30 - video games - drink - sleep



and I ask myself.....



when was the last time I really enjoyed anything?



myself has no answers







and there is no one else to listen to but the echo of my own coughing.