The Ultimate Vampire Resource and Directory

I am not feeling well,

I am not feeling well at all.

Hours, days and weeks of feeling depressed, exhausted, drained, anxious, stressed, inadequate are only interrupted by short moments of joy when I see Ryan smile or reach out for me.

Other times, I wish I could just find my coffin already.



I feel like I've lost track of myself, I don't enjoy life anymore and I've never been so careless when it comes to myself anymore, I can go days without even thinking about brushing my hair...





And sex? That word doesn't even seem to exist in my dictionary anymore.



Don't get me wrong... I love Ryan, he is amazing, he is the most beautiful baby... I wouldn't give him up for the world and I don't regret having him at all I just wish... things were easier....



I don't even care about not caring for myself, how messed up is that? I feel fat and depressed about being fat, but I don't care enough to do anything about it...



The worst thing is that I have had such a lack of appetite since I gave birth, I don't think I've eaten a decent meal since that day... I can go days without eating more than a sandwich or two, and when I do eat a meal I feel sick and end up leaving half of it... I know that's bad, and I swear it's not some sick dieting obsession... I just can't eat.



What's wrong with me?