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2 entries this month
Primal pain
11:08 Dec 30 2007
Times Read: 625
Primal pain
Played on primal instincts
Lost my humanity
Acted as a savage beast
Lost my heart
Acted on an instinct I fought against my whole life
Lost that one person who took me for me and loved me for it
Lost that true state of mind I truly loved
Lost my serenity
I lose that one person I loved more than
Any one I have ever loved
More than Emily and even more than Kelsey
I lost it because of my stupid idiotic self
I loved her more than I thought I could
I never told how much I truly cared but
Through these words I might be able to show something
Of how I felt towards this person I loved
But yet my sin of lust
Took that one true feeling
That one truth of my life
To an abrupt halt
And a painful breaking point
I lost you
And now I cry in a primal pain
Shaking and crying truly for once in my life
The numbness from this cold stone floor
Is insanity in it’s self
I can’t hold my hand or body steady
Trembling and quaking uncontrollably
But this the fate I have chosen
In my primal pain
I cry your name
Matthew William Frank
Breaking down behind crumbled walls
05:59 Dec 30 2007
Times Read: 630
Breaking down behind crumbled walls
Last truth, last hope, last love
All gone crumbled with the walls
Now laid bare to a world I fear
Scared of what’s to come
I am emotionally naked before you and the world
I plead and beg in my head and heart
But I can’t force it past the lump within my throat
For I know in the deepest selfless part of me
That if you’re happy then I can be
But the bigger part of me wants to take you
And leave here and never return
And be happy together but sadly
I know I can’t take you
Can’t even hug you
Nor have your love
I died behind crumbled walls
No truth nor hope or even love
I died when the day came I knew would come
The day I lost the one person I have love since
The moment I met her not seen but met
Now I sit in this room with Goosebumps
Shivering thinking of her slowly seeping into a madness
Using and passing what comes back to distract me from a draining pain
Pleading to her god and none of my own
I plead for a death sentence
Of my own pain is a momentary thing
She’ll soon forget me after this final pain
I ask her god for freedom and salvation
But I still sit here in this horrid house
And to sit in this house
Brings unspeakable truth
She is my heart and soul
And the conscious which guides me
This was her gift to me
The choose to live
With only passing reflections
Matthew William Frank
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