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Need me

want me

crave me

take me intravenously

Right through your blood and straight to your heart

become addicted to me

i already am to you

until you are here i am only words

without you i don't truly exist

You, are my fix, my drug

Let me in to soothe you burn through your veins

with you i am life fire passion hunger

without your need of me i am merely dis ease

your hunger brings me delivers me

creates me to life

let me in to be your addiction

you are already mine deep dark higher brighter ascending transcending self created heaven

i can be your fix

if you'll let me under your skin

you are under my skin already

be mine

fix me~

COMMENTS

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Apocapus
19:19 Sep 30 2010

Well it's nice to find a poem in the journals.

It's rare.

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POST COMMENT

*grins* mmm wine and musings yes i think i will start with that ...

Mmmmmmm a nice rich warm peppery red

would have helped last night i am thinking,

as again i was haunted to the point of restlessness...

some say when you are up for seemingly no reason around 1 -3 am its the artists hour and its the creative time..

last night my creative flow was heading in a decidedly downward spiral ;)

i was restless like a feral cat.. wants needs and desires pacing inside my shell cage...

wanting so, hoping so to sleep it off that would have been a petite victory ..lol ooooh and i did try, i tossed and turned until finally i arose and stepped ever so reluctantly into my steamy hot shower...

as the water licked danced and caressed my skin i closed my eyes.. head back lips parted being sprayed by the occasional stray droplet....

i let my visceral mind wander...

heated water.. liquid hot hands.. following my curves over down and around, searching for hunger sated... lips to my flesh.. gliding..teeth biting hands stroking grasping gripping and taking..

unconscious low moans of yesssss escaped my moist lips as hand and water and imagination trails further down ..over breast perked and ready to burst sensing a release to a long held desire ...

down over tummy dipping into my belly button a soft giggle as if i am even ticklish not but enjoying this ghostly mind play..

water heat fingers across hips and down .. finding a new wet silkier than before.. and i gasp..

must be i had be holding back holding in again too long as all too quickly white hot explosions in my head busting through my body sending chills over my hot pink wet flesh and i shiver...

dizzy i fall forward a memory of merlot and kisses on my tongue warm flesh finds cool tiles little gasp..

leaning forward i coax more passion from inside me.. crying out silently but for my bodies response to be taken legs begin to shake.. body chills heated drained yet still wanting ..i step from the shower no towel i want to feel the droplets trail down my form like fingertips would and watch them as they dry from the heat of my hunger alone

as i crawl into bed again i realize i have not quenched but merely stoked this fire ever burning hungry to consume and be consumed.. back where i started hands at play i toss and turn and again let my creativity flow~

i wont speak of things i can not take back

i wont lament on things that have not yet been

my sorrow is of the moments now and those passing and growing at a loss, this girl to know where to turn i sit silent no words to say and in my silent sorrow..

my heart screams out so loud

i am afraid its deafened my soul

tears speak so much more loudly than words

so listen as i listen

as i cry no words ....

shush now

so everywhere You are now..

you surround me like the air

yet you permeate my skin my body and my heart.

You feed my soul with all that you are but you make me more hungry than i have ever been.

Hungry for a touch , for your touch...hungry for you.

i die a little each day from wanting to taste the life of your lips on mine

tiniest bit by bit i fade from needing the energy of your passion as it pours forth from your skin to mine..

All the beauty that i am lucky enough for you to see in me is merely a reflection of all the beauty that your loving me creates...

its a wondrous cycle.. one i am thankful for, no matter.

As each day comes i await you .. and my whole body cries out in joyous and primal anticipation..

You fulfill me emotionally spiritually physically

and so completely.

Forgive me my desire of you, my passion burns like a volcano and i melt in my need of your attentions there is no manner or reason to my need of you it exists simply because you exist..

A vapor a ghost you float above me while i feel you coursing through my veins the scent the feel the taste of you just beyond my reach drives me crazy and draws me nearer still.

This place of ecstasy i have found in you truly is mon petite mort

The gods must truly laugh as we have become a living list of stoic and sure "i will nots" -that now scream in their faces "i can't not"

In your glow i see a heaven but distance of a single heartbeat makes this feel more like hell at times

if it is truly some self created hell then i will gladly repeat the sin done that brought me here to burn with you to me melding until i am only you and nothing else...

On my bed your visceral growl in my ear at my throat brings my hearts beat to the surface to meet your hunger. Pounding back an SOS so urgent in its carnal need to have you, to be taken by you devoured

Head hanging over eyes closed, you are here above me in front of me below me on me inside of me..

fanning a fire i am sure will consume my soul, as it burns you to my core brands me with all that you are, till there is not the slightest separation of me to you.

My fingers play hips rocking forward you in my minds eye, you play me i am your instrument i sing for you i cry out the fine strings of my being ring out chords of passions unending.

Back arched i feel you, you find me penetrate my flesh and we are joined a vortex of energy like nothing i have ever known

your heat meeting mine as all of my want of you melts around you

i close in around you now like i am the hunter you my prey as we roll

dance and ride the waves of our lust together.

With you i see heaven but if this is somehow hell i will gladly commit the sin that carried me here and burn with you becoming one ever glowing white blue flame of

yessssssssssss

All i am here is You in this moment i am not ..without you

if i am the heart you are its beat if you are the lungs i am the air that fills them

my lips part in a low moan as all that i am for you flows to the surface below me wet hot rushing for you

heart pounding body ready to burst desire all consuming there is only you and me

nothing else matters nothing else exists ...

but as the flooding beat of my heart calms the slightest bit somewhere off in the distance i can hear

The Gods laughter~

i stumble inside this cathedral of the flesh

knowing as always i don't belong.. no one truly does..

yet i that much less than most

still i tip toe deeper in pirouetting over bodies of lies and promises forgotten

baring with me, my simple gifts of wine and candlelight,

and the music of my soul..

many eyes peering in the harsh darkness when mine light on yours .. your eyes speak of kinship lifetimes missed of hunger dormant yet lying in wait of dream never dreamt of castles built and fortresses to guard against fears all now crumbling in a glance

we are all protectors of our own fears and secret wishes we all stand alone in our truest flesh

but here in this place of desolate anguish i have found something so unexpected..

i have found the mirror to my heart

i have found you

my âmes embrassent~



for You My Dark Poet~

So I am awake after just less than three hours sleep..

Did I dream? Not sure, but I had the very best fantasy ever

Before slipping into a brief but sustaining slumber

In the night in my room on my bed I was visited by a most beautiful vision

A man.. No, THE MAN more real than any man can hope to be came to me

surrounded me whispered love and lust into my ear my heart my soul and my body

He kissed me and touched me and moved me in ways unimagined..

and I danced for him I sang for him I gave into him I gave my all to him…

Minute upon minute all too quickly became hour after hour

but the mere sound of his voice in my ear the simple knowledge of his desire

wouldn’t allow my body to stop working for him

I danced on my bed like a gypsy swirling bending swaying

Undulating in every possible direction to allow him better access to every inch of me

I breathed in all of his passion as if it were the very air of my existence

I gave him my every desire I ever held dear I gave him all of me nothing was held back

I gave my hunger my need my lust my want my faith my joy my trust

I gave him my pleas of “take me”… my soft whispers of “oh god yes”

He carried me across my room by passion alone

On my floor crouched down like a wild animal I gave him my first release

it flooded the floor in a pool at my feet

Head thrown back still crouching I gave my gasps and growls of hunger

Crawling clawing back to the bed he didn’t let up coming up behind me

My hands gripping the sheets his hands grasping my hips

He presses me from behind and just as suddenly his mouth to my ear he growls low soft and primal

It resonates so through my body the next wave hits me before I can catch a breath

An orgasm so powerful bursts from me I am brought to tears yet still not stopping

It’s as if he is working me from the inside out

in total control of my every move and every want driving me on

Exhausted my mind is ready to stop and rest

but my body with its visceral need is so very hungry

as it’s waited more than lifetimes for this release to find me

Selfishly I gather any strength, hips rocking feeling the slow steady thrust of his need meeting mine

Feeling him fill me searing me becoming a part of me as if finding his way home

Brings yet another wave all my wants and desires splash my thighs and the bed below me

As finally nearly breathless heart pound breath heaving from my chest I collapse to the bed

Face down drool from my lips wetting my pillow ass still softly pumping air moaning

In a low sex thickened raspy voice I raise my head and say into the air

Oh gods yes Daddy I love you……

now fully awake aching thighs still moist

nipples tender hard still needing to be tasted

smiling like the Cheshire Cat

i sit here typing thinking of him body again reacting and think

"if i could i'd leave him a little love note"

written on me~

Tonight my skin is electric.. each fine hair like a transmitter of visceral desires

I have a need so powerful that has been building and its now to a point of blind hunger

I feel so feral so primal now,

as I unconsciously sniff the air for the scent my mouth waters for.

evil hearted are the gods to give me much of what I need in almost a daily diet laying it on the perfect plate of you right under my nose day after day

bidding me to consume and be sated cleverly allowing me to become needy

of the succulent sumptuous sensation that is all you create in me.

The gods of Little alice have taken to using me for their amusement I believe

For a time now they have taken to send the ghost of my desires to me

He visits me in my room and stay haunting my days and my sleep…

His touch infused with such passion in my minds eyes

that the mere thought makes the inner honey of my need flow to accept and entice him

my lips plump spread and bloom with a hunger to be touched tasted and enjoyed

his presence more real in my bodies response than any flesh and blood man I have yet to meet

he comes to me and over comes me

he stripped me of all my pretense all my disguises to have me there before him

to offer me the truest gift I can and in so he gave me all the glory I could want

in the removal of all my enticements he gave me my beauty

it fired from me like a volcano and bubbled forth a passion like no other

each visit drawing me in a little more giving me so much more and yet still taking the tiniest little bit

so tiny that until he withdrew I hadn’t known just how much he had taken of me

now the reality of how easily one might do without

is a hard cold slap across my face this night and it makes a tear fall from my closed eyes

hungry wanting needing addicted aching I crawl into my bed

in hopes that maybe the gods will chose to have you visit me this night

if only in my dreams…..

to be continued~

Naked but for my wishes i enter the cathedral of my fears

on my own kneeling head bent eyes closed in a silent prayer

i beg forgiveness

tears fall unattended to the cold stone beneath me

i beg forgiveness

for any and all sins i may have knowingly and unknowingly committed over my time in this place

i offer up my silent pleas to all the gods that choose to hear

take pity on this child for she is still learning not fully created still being fired she is still.... unfinished.

Awaiting ..something...somewhere.. some ONE

Flesh chilled by a breeze from the dream of another time i shiver

Raising eyes i see you before me aura of colors majestic

you spirit lights and warms the air around me..

i breathe you in and its life sustaining

smiling down upon me your love covers my beaten body in a beauty i have never felt,

as i begin to glow in your presence

lifted up i stand before you for the first ever,

unashamed of my true form

all i feel is beauty and love and pride to be beheld by you

you take my hand and we are electric.. there is music and color, and so many wonderful scents are surrounding us..

Even with spoken hopes, in all my moments of doubt every second of feeling lessor than i never really believed i might find that one..

The ONE to know and unlock the womanchild so long ago buried away for safe keeping

the many scars uninvited and self inflicted to cover this house of pain...

the child tarnished broken unworthy hidden away protected by the woman though she stood strong all this time her foundation was that of disbelief distrust disdain

and for herself disgust..

holding fast the memory of the little jewel before it was marred but put so far inside so in her dark it was all but forgotten

in this instant looking into the eyes of my soul drowning in all the beauty i thought destroyed the little girl the perfect jewel was set free to shine and glow and be held in adoration as was well deserved...

standing in your light seeing all the beauty you see in me in your eyes

i know now.. there is one for me to believe in to have and hold to be cherished treasured taken used and adored by

someone that shows me reflected again the perfect pure little jewel of love there

someone to kneel for someone to lay by someone to cry over

to laugh with someone to love forever

no matter where life might go

because finally, after my long journey all my prayers and pleas heard as i look in your eyes seeing this beautiful me you see i can stand here my desire for you obvious

my naked need offered open given

knowing in you i am accepted i am worthy because in you i am home in you i have found my beauty my love my safe harbor

in you i have found trust