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At another crossroad, finally having found a way out of the last dead end.

I turn one way, I see the same old shit, the same stretch of road, mom and dad in the mountain side, the shade from the mountains making everything dark....

Then the other way, the road stretches far, littered with photos of my old friends, old life, old town....and the options, there are so many other roads in the other direction, and it is free from the dark shadows.

Which way would you pick? For some reason, the answer isn't easy to me. I sit and look one way and the other for hours until someone comes up behind me and starts honking for me to get out of the way. I turn to the light road and hope for the best.

I feel it building inside

the cold running through me

Ice expanding

it bursts through my skin in shards

ripping, tearing my body to pieces

all that's left is my soul

only it was hurt in the explosion

it needs to be repaired

but the only thing left to fix it is gone

so it wander alone, a vagabond

ghost to the world

with no home and no hope

Everything seems to point towards one conclusion

I don't know if I'm ready

To give up, to surrender, but I do anyway

I look over the edge, the fire has yet to reach my eyes

I take the plunge

the flames are surprisingly icy

they hurt more than heat ever could.

I feel the fire enter my lungs, scorching my throat

As all grows dark, I hear a voice and it tells me how stupid I am

I had other choices and I chose fire

I laugh at the absurdity of it all

"I never had a choice," are my last words.

Then I feel the water.

Saved only to be damned later

I grimace at the truth and keep walking

He is staring at me again in my thoughts

I will never forgive him for saving me

"It was for the best"

No.

I try to run for the edge again, but he's holding fast.

I am dragged farther and farther away.

I look for escape, but find none.

When I finally give up, I feel released.

His purpose was to save, only to disappear again.

How is that right?

Saved only to remain in pain.