The Ultimate Vampire Resource and Directory

DEFINING 3 MEN



dont kiss&tell older lene from work

Miserable Minute-condom problem



HIM-PAST & PRESENT-gossip,black,roommate bs



SECRET-NEW NOW AND AMAZING TIME-SECRET for a reason, no one knows him or i or that we know eachother etc...



I slept with an older man I found attractive from work which didnt go well, a minute, i was wet and unsatified, then the condom disappeared in me. I WAS HUMILIATED I WANT ED TO CRY, he thought it was funny, i was so sick sad embaressed. I told jacob mistake and he said it was dude fault he didnt pinch tip or put it on right, I know he told ash too. Then I slept with HIM but I call him HIM. I have slept with before whne I was 15 and 19 and now at 23, a big black man with a charming smile and wise peaceful aura around us when we are together. And Ashley caused a problem when he left "NIGGER" OMG she is a real racist bitch. She said it all after he left she didnt want NO NIGGERS in her house. Then jacob of course dropped my business at his friends in park holm, told me a different story, and I told HIM everything. I call him HIM. I told him of my roommates racism and gossip apologizing for the entire thing. Then set to lunch another guy (didnt happen) she starting telling me I defined a skank and she didnt want her or jacoob to catch anything when i use her dishes and toilet. FUNNY I BOUGHT ALL THOSE DISHES! Now I have a secret, I call him my secret too. met on chatline, he lives in newport, girlfriend im sure who was working, and we watched a horror flick we both love em cabin fever, smoked a blunt, had some vodka and apple juice. It was an amazing night. I ended up crashin at uncle rays at midnight and secret made sure i got in the house & HIM called me too that night. Him and I are done. Drama neither want need and its all my fault. SO SAD, & DISGUSTED with roommates. He said he has to side with her she pg with his kid, she was there too hearing it all so i understood him. I was a mouse last ngiht. I stole a chicken starp left on the pan empty pan and ran to my room. They made like 2 pans chicken and a steak last night. I was hungary and still am didnt eat today at all. Secret and I got plans tomo night. He a guest on the reggie show tonight, so i told him to go enjoy himself text me after show. He has such a warm touch and I want his arms around me strong and sure protective and kinglike. I dont get that from anyone but my mommy. My mommy holds me strong sure warm and protective. I dont know how to be alone. Jacob knows, ashle dont. She was horribly cruel and he said "We wanted you to be mad at yourself, dont treat yourself like that, treat yourself better" YEAH Only secret to have intercourse with. HIM is not for me with all his kids and baby moms and so called wife but he has the charm smile adn thickness. secret is a tiny thing but admires my body which i admire him for it.I will not sleep with anyone now cept SECRET with condoms-used with all-and getting tested WED... DAMN im so alone...SKANK? NO IM NOT AM I ?







23, Newport

So much has happened, I reset my phone to fix my texting and accidentally deleting my contacts, IMPORTANT JOSHUA'S#...Calvin should be gone Tuesday after court back to Washington,DC, hopefully for good. If he goes for good I can date without worry. I started chatline yesturday already weekend plans with "22 yr old Ryan white 5'10 hot description (dont they all) manages a hospital billing company (something like that) lives in Quincy,Mass with a roommate-who is always at his girlfriend's-looking for a relationship-blah"uh told him cousin put me on and it was simple message im sam 23 newport ri.BRB hide and seek with champ&angel. Got all 4 kids at janies sittign til mom gets here got to sleep with dog again-Reme moms lab-trying to keep al news here. jacob talking so much trash about ashley-she is 20 yrs old and 3 months pregnant with him and he says horrible stuff, and ithought they loved eachother he cant make up his mind. Uncle Ray was mad at me for a min jacob told him i cashed my other check and didnt help. Then his lover went to jail for going at someone with 3 big knifes while intoxicated. Uncle sad but now we good he needs me now i love him, at janies met his neighbors' other brother (BUYING CRACK ONLY EXPLANATION) cleans cop cars so cops leave him alone saying this that bout what is hould do for court-already heard everything he said from others and my lawyer.-whatever-he knows i stabbed birdpoop and i told him id cut his brothers' throat the way he talks to my uncle. Their mother is sick and he asked her (uncle ray) she was going to S**K david's C***?" i laughed he didnt think it was funny and kevin is his name he said he went outside and saw uncle ray with a knife after jonathan porky pig kid i said bullsh** he said he was there blah blah blah news update g2g babysit

FIRST NEWS FIRST: My Beloved Soldier Joshua gets transferred in may to afghanistan. I am sad. But he will come back to me. And one day we will have a family. I need this annulment asap. I wear his necklace now, dont even take it off at bed or in the shower. His tags I wear when im not around my husband. He has fits and gets angry/upset often dont want to see his face or hear him when in those moods. I moved back in with Jacob and Ashley, my old apartment with charles. He is not there anymore. I paid $300 rent and everyone tried to get involved. I SHUT EM ALL UP in person, but behind my pack they all talk. Uncle Ray wanted my money, I said I cant do it after I paid all my bills off. He got sp upset, I called and fixed his cable so it wont be shut off until MAY 1st. He still moaned, but he will get over it. He is hitting depression again, I tihnk he needs brandon to go and he needs his alone time with his cat and tv. But he hasnt kicked brandon out. its his choice. So mom babysitting memphis at work mon-wed and staying at janies in portsmouth for the week while janis is in north carolina with my cousin cari, her daughter is with my aunt jane. I had Sandra sleep with me at my hosue last night, mom dont know, calvin taking care of pets. Once janie gets back , he can go home and i can stay home. He is not happy. We are getting divorced, we got the papers, but its $120 to file for divorce plus lots for court and lawyer etc. It was cheaper for us to get married. I just want an annullment. Jacob's secretatry friend trying to help. I got my replacement check, so tempted to cash it, put away $420 for rent, phone, & house needs and have $220 to spend on discman an pot and food and stuff. I must go get a new ebt card cuz i let mom use mine. And she lost it in a pair of pants at aunt jane's house. Calvin is unhappy just caring for pets im trying to avoid him. I finished the spring newsletter at work, and im thrilled its done adn they approve and i photocopy staple adn hand out. With me as AUTHOR and KATHY FRYER as EDITOR! COOL! Got things to do online now. LATER



Sandra came to my home and we went to sleep together in my bed, she didnt complain or nothing. She went to school today, first day at Rogers High switched from MHS due to move and sandra not going to school, going late and failing. Living with jacob&ashley is fine. Its peaceful adn calm and quiet, she gets loud and mad sometimes when he makes mess and doesnt clean it up. He just wants to sleep watch movies eat smoke boges and bud and see his daughter. My goddaughter Kaitlyn. He had a visit with her today probably at it now. I am alright, empty and overwhelmed how can that be? MENTALLY is all I can say. Thinking makes my head race and not tihnking gives me anxiety. rock and hard place in the brain. Weather has a lot to do with my moods, anxiety, relationships etc.

this card is a change of luck and all spinning twisting and turning, no idea whther outcome is good or bad, and Calvin adn I both got this card as final outcome using two different decks and I did the readings. Now we are split, I am staying with jacob & ashle he is hanging at my mom's. Head spinning, head & chest ache, the torment of confusion & chaos in the brain makes me want to kill myself. It is done. We are through. He went and got us a therapist appointment today and divorcce papers. I texted him, go back to prov, i will be in touch when my annulment papers have been written to vacate our marriage. At newport Library with Ryan from work. How I cant explain the pain in my head. Leaving. Home-I dont have one. I live alone withitn myself. Time will tell where I lie. NewHampshire is still part of my plans. Daddy got a hosuephone and calls me now and checks on me. HE is worried about me. He is the only one I knowthat can explain my disorders in english for others and myself to understand. Need to nap. As usual, exhausted, cant think or focus. Havent been reading or writing, late i type poems on my texts and save to drafts but never fix or complete em. My head, its all in my head.

CARMELLA