The Ultimate Vampire Resource and Directory

I got the week for you here. I went in the ER to admit myself to the 8th floor or mental ward or newport hospital thursday evening. It was after a big blow out with bo at his job on his break. Oh I wanted to kill myself and his whore. It hurt, when he told me he slept with her, he killed me and our friendship for good. It tore me up. I went and waited in the er for 4 hours. Then I got a bed and went to sleep. I got switched from the locked side to the open side after my firstnight. I slept and stayed on the phone. it was the weekend with no activities or groups just hanging out meals and longer visitations. I was ok up there. I got lots of sleep and rest and food. I learned how to let bob go. Same way I stopped letting craig leave me hurt me, distacting myself. I did it. I am doing it again. I love him, lost him, now letting him go. I can do it, I am now, I am still alive. I hurt a little but not much because the increase in my meds. The nurses and staff theree are awesome, very comforting, helpful, and caring. I hate the fatman doctor, dr.erstling, doesnt do nithin talk to u for 5 min then run, come back with a diagnosis someitimes. Anyway, I met a bunch of woman Mary, the comedian who was discharged Tues and has to come back 9am-2pm for groups, Lisa who comes to groups, Janet the mouse, sweet short beautiful woman, says shes 47 looks 30, wrote a poem to her but she was already gone, left tues also. Barbara, 63 yr old been there a month doesnt really want to go ban to the world, Kelli came in mon. didnt sleep wanted 2 go hom eor get a pass 4 a ciggarette. She hugged me goodbye, and wished me luck today. Sandra came in last night from RI hospital, slit her wrists pretty bad needed 20 stitches and was transferrred to newport becasue no one had open beds. Bill on the other side ate with us and was nice but quiet. Thelma an older older woman who was ill and old was with us. Mary got her to eat, laugh and sing with us "somewhere over the rainbow" she sang it all by herself too a bunch of times. Hasnt eaten with us since mary was discharged. New guy david came in last night, dont know why hes there, but tomo is his birthday and hes there for it. I met a lot of great people. Lots of nurses I met 10 months ago with my overdose and tranfer up there for 7-9 days. They are really great supporters. Bobby caused me to break with everything going up&down, so I admitted myself. He called my mother and told her I said I was going to kill myself. Mom said we should go to the hospital, took laundry to janies then went and got admitted. 4 hours in er, then upstairs to sleep in locked side for one night. then friday morning had a seizure during a nap b4 they transferred my room to the open side. I stayed in the phone with uncle ray or anyone I could call. or slept til sunday. then started doing schoolwork. Monday I had a pass to go out wi th mom as chaperone adn took mark&jordyn to petco & barnesand noble. Mom is a big stress factor in my life so I am staying wi th Tiff a few days. I spent the after noon with craig who supported me through this depression and I got a lot off my chest today with him which I was happy to do, and he was relieved to know what was on my mind. I told him I hate keith and how he say dhes always with keith, and how sex is always him, its head then fuck for a few minutes til he cums again, maybe hell eat me for a few sconds but its not for me. Today he made it me, we had sex on the beach he ate me no head we talked we walked on the beach he held me on a bench lookin over the water. Then he took em for ice cream adn told me all about his space. He made today. I shaved today since like last wednesday, I felt like a monkey, I feel all smooth and sexy again. He told me he loves me and gave me a piece of a smooth purple & white sheel he found friday morn walking on the beach. We talked bout keiths a ho and hes not. I go to get my glasses tomorow should we get the other $13 needed from selling bags(tiffs bags) I am babysitting now, theyre all asleep. I am exhausted. I got a job interview 4 housekeeping at bellevue inn at 8am tomo. I am happy bout it. Tiffany, Jesse, Jacob, Kat, mom, uncle ray, and Craig all helped me and supported me through this depression. I am grateful for them. Nurses teased abouut having an entourage for visitation. THe nurses were awesome upthere, but I hate the fatman. He didnt do his job as a doc or psychiatrist. ANyway, Courtney, ms. serious bipolar (I swore she was schizcophrenic) I was with in the hospital 10 months ago called for mary, shed been re hospitalized a lot in different places over the last year. We talked and shes living at the pineapple inn which her aunt owns. I was happy to find her but havent seen her yet. Lots to do today and tomo and want to sleep. I am happy now I am letting bob go, got craig, got plan sto move to ohio with my crystal, working to save up money now. I get my glasses tomo, and pay for school friday. need to find some more money to buy cats ear medicine, calcium pills, and other meds for bleeding hemeroids, I may have, havent been checked just been assumed sooo....Craig doesnt know, I cant tell him, but no anal sex for awhile...YUCKY! TOMUCH INFO but its my journal. home now all shaved and saw my cats and havent smoked, no more drinking cuz seizure on friday whiel in hospital told me when switching rooms. I have headaches now still, but added lightheaded- ness. I can still take a job, I need one for more money, to save and pay all my bills. My cell is dead, mom's is gone so cant charge man...I love craig, and I am better, people there are also great support, the patients too, and nurses. I am happy to be out and free though. I must go to bed. now. THey nincreased my celexa to 40mg from 20 and trazedone 100 from 50mg. So night night.

I am in pain, mentally & emotionally. I had a great day with Marky. I took him to Petco & Barnes&Nobles&Ben's. We went to the park, had an energy drink, he went with his daddy for the weekend. I miss him already. Then I had read the news. A 15yearold girl Samantha Kavanagh was hit by a car, in critical condition at Hasboro Childrens Hospital. I know her and her father & siblins. They were weekly customers at my blockbuster. Mr.Terrence kavanagh is a good man, and great father, a daughter with down syndrome(youngest) and a son or two and now his oldest daughter in the hospital...HOW AWFUL! So I stayed home til 5:30 news, she is still in serious condiotion. DAMN! Then I took Jordyn & Sandra to petstore anbd bookstore, a high school friend Devon and I excahanged #s awhile back so he came along. We had fun adn stole two books, one for Sandra, one for me, stole one for me ealier. I told the kids accident"never steal, member bob went to jail for stealing, two months for one lil thing" went to Chris' (cousin) stranded outside for an hour, then left(because this crackhead, cousin Jasons ex, now screwing again, shes married to a crackhead too, all homeless, anyway, she was saying she dont like me and blahblahblah, so I had to stay outside) AnneMArie said stac wont give bud knowing its 4 TC(crackhead&snitch) so I called stac when I got home, and said dont sell, she said ok and they all went without, even me, but im ok, just frigging deressed...so I found Bobby and he tells me hes been screwing kayla OMG, I want to kill myself now but those kids come first they are my responsibilites right now, so NO, but Bob agreed to meet me at his job between 2-8pm tomorrow, I am a mess, hes worried, I am going to start problems. Mushy melted milky way in muffler and stabbin kayla should ever be seen, and telling bob im gone, dont worry wbout me, u can live happily ever after with a whore and she has herpes! hes been using condoms so they are on the inside but she has em...YUCKY! hes in denial, he never saw her test forms, I =am positive, anyway yeah I want to kill myself now. I AM A MESS! I called Craig and said over cell machine "I love you, always did, I dont know how you ever felt about me, but you can live your life about me, I am not goin gto calll anymore, and you can go wirk or whatever, and I love you" I believe I will not get a response, it doesnt matter, I want to kill myself, I love my kids (niecs,nephews, kids that have grown to love me and I adopted unto myself) but they all have someone to love them. I just want someone to love me...But obviously thats not meant to happen. I have an MRI for headaches at 7:30am tomo then Dr.Klein Friday @3pm hoping he will updose my meds so I dont try to kill myself any time soon, I got so many plans for myself, I just wnat someone by myside as I fulfill my goals, and someone say hey good job or nice or you are smart etc, and maybe ILOVE YOU once in awhile...But I am cursed, I am trying to be strong, bobby is killin gme slowly, so slowly, I want to kill her, or myself, they can all gloat when im dead but hey im an angel in the sky Im no longer suffering as time goes by...thatrs when my times up, I am still here to suffer what the FUCK!

Hey, been pranking Bobby all night, they say he's not home to Brandon 7 Tiff, had them call too. His parents pissed, got to know its me. Haha. I need to speak to him. I know Kayla, his cokewhore, has herpes because i know her ex, Dobber, a friend of mine, has them, though he's in jail at this time. I pray he hasnt slept with her, or hhe's screwed for life. YUCKY! I miss him everyday. He doesnt care, I know. I wonder why he pretends too still. I dont like to tell him anything so he and his whore and family can gloat i n my misery, but I am stronger now and dont care what they say or think now. I miss him though. It sucks to what him back and then not be able to have him...Herpes YUCKY!!! WIth me 3years and no disease then off with this whore one night and his penis is doomed. WOW! I kept him from his ex Amanda King who has herpes then later he goes and gets them from someone else. I know from his response whether he slept with her or not. Anyway, I am waiting for TIff to call me back from the hotel and say whether she got a reply or not. I hung up on his mom once and then no one spoke hung up on them then Brandon called, dad answered said not home, now she's calling. They will be pissed but hey haha. I could care less how they feel now. They would rather allow him to do coke and catch herpes then be near me or in my life, karma sucks for them too. I want him back man. I dont even have Craig. I have him to suck his dick and fuck once a week, yeah great relationship. I never had to suck bobby's dick. Bobby and I could do the hold eachother all night, and not try to have sex unless I hit on him or played with him. God I miss those nights. But I love Craig I do, I just still believe he doesnt love me. I odnt think shes goin to call him. DAMNIT! I need someone else to call. I want to call all night, and I will have Tiff call early in the morn too. ASA I wake up. I am crazy, I miss him. I did chapt. 20 today and vocabs, wksht exercises for chapt20 lot of work, but happy about it. Got 2 exams and midterm exam done too.(earlier this week) I had a migraine all day today(bad back of head) I havent been eating good either, ate ziti w/butter&parm.cheese at uncles which was great and got coffee from uncles. and he gave us tp, coffee, coffee filters, made mom, jord, and I dinner, then gave me 2 800mg motrin. YEAH! I love my uncle Ray. Got to give him $10 Sat. he will be happy. I am tired got to take my trazedone nd laydown. LATER I reminded Craig today about my apt with dr.klien on fri, left meeage n machine (CELL) no response , no surprise but hope he lets me know b4 my apt on fri. I want his baby still, then want to go live with crystal and hide the pregnancy come back here have it show up on Craigs porch with it. OMG should he have another girl then, I will kill them both. It will be his parents to raise him/her grandchil manchester. cant think negative, cant think preganancy either but keeping track of dates of sex for conception and how long. I am nuts, yeah, but G2G bed. LATER

You Are 78% Evil



You are very evil. And you're too evil to care.

Those who love you probably also fear you. A lot.



I took this test on how evil I am, these were my results, but im young and the answers will change as I mature but at least im honest. I made one mistake and would not kill 1 mill/ peeps for fact I wouldnt get caught, for $1 mill. by shots in back of head, maybe. I am not trying to sleep yet. I took a hot bath, wrote an exam from book to paper, simple fill in dots then did midterm exam had to go through chapts.1-19 for answers, that was rough, but its done. I got to be up early for interview downtown tomo at 10 or a lil after and got to make calls for other jobs. I am really tryin to save for money and an apt. Yeah prices are ridiculous in newport but something I can call my own I will be happy with, as long as its not falling apart. I got to try to go to sleep but sleepin all day screwed me. I ate Tiff's leftover chinese chicken for supper, only other t hing today was a pb&fluff sanw. 4 lunch,& one nutty bar for breakfast. I am hoping for another job, my horoscope in newspaper says "no judgemental rash decisions, one step at a time becasue things are crazy for me right now so I am taking it one step at a time, saving up $20 a week except this week, cuz its $200 this Frid, then $100 every fri. after that. I think I can manage two jobs and school , im grown up and school gets done here mostly anyway. LATER good night, going to check computer horoscope now.

Hey, I am at work, all kids asleep. I worked 3-11pm Fri. well came home about 1am Sat. morn. to go to sleep and had a nightmare. It was botu coyotes goin crazy and taking over newport again. It had me exhausted & mentally messed up all day Sat. I did laundry all day with mommy Sat. All house laundry. I was sad & alone all day. Tom blew me off, Nick didn't come through at all this weekend. Then Nick tells me he loves me last night, bout 9pm. OMG, I was like weirded out by it. I dont love him. He didnt call me back today at all, I think it was because I hung up pretty fast after that. I went with Craig lsat night though, you know that cheered me up. I was sad all day before I went with him. I watched lifetime movies with mommy all day. Its ok, its some times with her though. Craig acted different last nght though. He made it about me b4 him. Of course he wanted head but after he played with me and teased me for awhile. I didnt tell Uncle Ray. He'd be mad even though Mike went over there this morning. Then I gave him head, swallowed, (GROSS, REALLY), then he wanted to get on top, I said "let me" then I let him get on top. The ride to the spot in tiverton he ripped into my back with his nails. Ow, it hurt but felt good too. It hurt getting in the shower today though, alot. I told him I love him a bunch of times and got kisses on the head and said "I will take that as you love me too" I made him say it while i was on top, he loves how I fuck him on top, I dont like it, but we both get off anyway. I do what I can to make him happy and smile and stay close to me. We went out at 12:30 til 2:15 then I was asleep by 2:30 and woke up at like 12pm. I didnt do anything today, then from like 6pm til quarter to 9pm I slept too. Now I am at work wide awake writing. I got to do some schoolwork and take a bubblebath. I get to call Craig tomo and remind him of my doc apt fri. by the ymca where no buses run. He said he will see his schedule, cuz its from like 7am-3or4pm just not everyday when Keith needs him. KEith, blah! that was a vomit blahh 2! but my baby needs to make money to for himself so I cant say nothin now. Its been once a week everyweek for a while and thats his space. I can handle it, it ust seems like so much longer. He feels it 2. He says he tries not to think about me or us, but when he does he misses me. I try not to think bout him, I think getting pregnant will turn the tables on this space bs. SOON! I hope actually, but not yet, I just got back to school and this job, hoping for another job for enough money for an apartment, found an $800 apt in newport close to my mom's with utilities incl, hoping cats allowed. I only need a one bed room, its for me. Craig will have to come by more often, its my place. Got to keep cats out my room ,he hates fur on the bed, it gets in his mouth. I could be dreaming but hey im trying thats what matters. I want a one bed room, for me and two cats not studio apt, and $800 with everything, I go tmy own bedroom set and a bureau I can take, I got a dining room set at janies thats actually mine. I would just need to buy dishes and a couch and stuff. I go ta tv at home too. I am a little to excited. But with Tiff thats $400 a month there, school is $35 a month, cell is $45 a month, or home phone with machine and call waiting is cheaper. I can do this, I want this. I can do this. WOW, to have my own place, but am afraid stacy will try to move in, uh sorry I can not do it, I want my own place with my own rules. But it takes time so I got to slow it down. I cant breathe thinking about it. I got to do schoolwork. LATER LUCK TO ME WITH LIFE!

I am so depressed again, maybe because Tara called me, she cut herself, her husband was talking in his sleep bout a divorce and called her another girl's naem during sex. He says he dont remember. BS. He remembers the sex, he got to remember the words. OMG if Craig called me another girls name. I miss him lots, thats part of me being depressed, and i didnt take my anger/sad pill cuz I got it at like 3pm, so got to take it now. I miss Tara. But shes a rat too, would sleep with my man in a second given the chance. Now shes sad, but we were always ther for eachother. I need someone, shes not around. I want Matt, March 09 is not comign fast enough. I miss him so much. I miss being happy. WHat's happiness? I forgot what its like, high is not being happy. I can get high, but want to be happy. All Alone again. I will live. I got back on my feet alone, now I got to walk alone. Its not easy or fun, no one said it would be, but its life.

I am at work again. Early shift today. So Wednesday night, I didn't sleep much at all, maybe two hours. The baby had me up most of the night crying for her mother. Then I was up and dressed by 6:50am to get bus to Prov. for depo shot. I went alone again. Craig cancelled because of work. (with Keith) I hate Keith. Its not hard to believe Craig is sleeping with Keith or someone at his house all the time he spends there. Come on, its been 8 days, so that means when we split, he was seeing some bitch there then too. I don't know anymore. Its easier not to cry bout it when I just get angry about it. Like with Bobby & his cokewhore, get angry instead of sad, why cry over someone who left me for drugs and diseases? His pain, my gain. Simple. Craig left me for a dude. Yeah for Keith. OUCH! Funny, Sean cheated with a dude, but thats not why I assume Craig's fucking Keith, I assume it cuz hed rather be with him than with me. PROBLEM THERE! Unless he's sleeping with one of Keith's hoes. Plenty of them over there. I know. I miss Craig, but im doing me. SO I went to Prov and got my shot alone. He never called to confirm if I went or my other test results. He may have thought Id call him, never again. He doesnt call me, he doesnt want me. I was good at giving him head and fucking him at becking call. But it was because I love him I did it all. Now i must walk away withno dignity and thats fine, because that just keeps me from sleeping with another dude again. I am done with sex. I am done with all sexual activity. Men are rats. I am not a rat's toy. Well I am tired & bored. I need to do my schoolwork. I am actually calling for jobs now(fulltime/daytime job) desperate for about anything. I am actually willing to do housekeeping at hotels too. I need to make more money. The job for the nursing home with just 5 woman in it has not been filled yet, that job will wear me out but should be good money I can enjoy. I have Wed-Friday off for school work and fun t. I only work Saturday-Monday and Tues 3-6pm. COOL! I need this now. I need to save up money for my own place before anything else. I need a cellphone too, getting a prepaid ASAP, as soon as Tiff pays me. Babies are sleeping, and Iyaana is watching tv. Got to call back Kim for ticket selling job in the paper too. I am excited about it. I need money and less time to myself. I cleaned my house today, and am at work now and will be doing schoolwork in about an hour or less, two chapters. I am going now. i want to smoke, I quit smoking cigarettes completely so staying away from Craig would be best or Id just be upset and want them again. NONONO! Bud is ok, but I cant afford nothing so stoges need to be not on that list. LATER

I am at work, its late. I did relax Tuesday afer cleaning my house and a little running around. Finally got to bubblebathe, watch tv, did school work, cooked us dinner, we bought hamburger rolls, turkey burgers, garlic salt, and soda. Came out good. Juicy and thinck, and flavored enough. We watched feardotcom.com. It was good. I thought of Craig a lot last night. He made my decision easy tonight saying ignorantly "did I say that?" speaking of bringing me to get my shot tomorrow. So im taking the bus and im okay. Just said "now let him go" He never did give a damn when I cried for him all night long and he was drinking with his friends. Its ok. Im sad but im back to me. School and working and looking for a day time job for more money to save and pay off lawyer and school. I am happy I am doing me, and taking care of me. He is taking care of him and Keith, well he can think of that when he's playing with himself instead of playing with me. I am going to be fine, be sad and cry but move on, I made it through Sean I can make it through anyone. I love him more than Sean, my actions prove that but now I must hurt myself a little before he hurts me to the point I want to kill myself again. I cant allow it. My kids are too dedicated to me now. My nephew for MOnday Night RAW, sometimes SMACKDOWN...the beach and shells, park etc. I babysit kids now that love me too. I cant leave or hurt my kids. So I have to leave him before I hurt myself. He will not be hurt, never was. He didnot miss me, missed head was what he missed. Well he will be playing with himself 4 awhile until he finds another girl to play with. He never loved me, he lied. Wonder what else he's lied about. It doesn't matter. I am doing me again. I believe that maybe should Craig & I be meant to be, we will cross pathes when we are ready too, as long as no kids come out of us along the way. Its okay, im okay, and I will always make it. I made it through boys and men, I can make it through anything. I made it househopping, single, sleepless, I can make it through this world. ILOVEYOU JENNIFER & ~MY~BEAUTIFUL~CRYSTAL

I amm so exhausted, want coffee!!! I need to wake up Nick & get out of here...Applications need to be filled out, my house needs to be cleaned, some shopping to do, got to find mom's Ebt card, got to feed my cats too... then to Nick's to bubble bathe and relax...LATER

I didnt go to Boston...had to work & Chris never got in touch with me...I got back to school today, I am so happy today, and im tired but im relaxing at Nick's tomorrow...its late, I got to watch RAW except the last match between Edge & Shawn Michaels...Edge left for smackdown, it was his last night on RAW. Im sad about it. school-chapters 12-15 read & completed exam to it. I am happy bout this job cuz its money in my pocket & my school I only owe $40 to school. AWESOME I thought I owed like $100 or more... I am exhausted, havent been drinking coffee or doing my normal tihng, so good night

I am going to Boston tonight with Chris, my friend who just moved out there, I am so happy. I gpt twp jpb interviews today, its 9:30, I g2g take a shower & start walking to these places, not far from where I live...only 3-6 minute walks all interviews/places where I got to fill out applications. I am very excited bout all this, and I need to get back to schoolwork ASAP. I hope I dont need to babysit tonight & should Craig call TOO BAD! That's a lot of balls for me to say bout him, I love him but we are not together so I can do whatever as long as I am not having sex to his knowledge lol. I need to stop, I just had sex with Tom on Friday night, and Craig last Wed. & Sunday night. DAMN! I got to stop, but Chris might be an opportunity to move out of here & start a real life, but I don't love him. I LOVE CRAIG, but he doesn't love me so I got to let him go, & Tom is just a nice guy who drops by, & Nick is a nice guy who cares about me, & hopes I can care bout him. I like these guys, they are all real awesome, but I am not sleeping with Nick. Too sleep with the others is horrible though. Well I am going to Boston, & tom's gone for another few months so looks like Craig is all I got on a known bi-weekly basis. I got to go now. At Tiffany's still, she's exhausted, worked 10-7 first night. But I got to go to inerviews, she dont know that though. I am very happy bout the way things are going for me without a uy by my side the whole time. LATER

Happy Mother's Day to all momms. Im babysittin now, kids asleep, on phone with Crystal, got two interviews tomorrow, got two numbers to call for jobs also. We're talking bout Craig , she hates him, and I love him... G2G night night

Saturday spent most of the daqy at Jesse's and then went to the carnival for a little while. Got home at 10pm then went to sleep with Jordyn. Today, went to Jesse's, the bar, and then Janie's. I ate, and drank well today, but I am so depressed today. I am babysitting tonite so I hope Craig calls and finds I slept out, cuz I was working, he just don't know that. I hate him at times, he really hurts me inside...G2G IhateBobby too

OMG! So much to say. Booby's gone for good, Craig surprised me with a sleepover Wednesday nite at his house and missed my depo shot apt. I told him all the week before. We slept in the morning and had mad sex, and etc. It was awesome. Then thursday night we had a huge heated conversation bout depending on him to go to Prov, and being sick, not taking care of me, and we are not together, just havng sex. I need to let him go...I cried all night. I went to the carnival with cassandra wednesday nite. We had an awesome time. We walked to and from the beach, went on mad rides, went home, went with Craig, was up mad late, then woke up at 7am just laid next to him. Went home at like 9-10am. Had to get up Friday at 5:45 to get bus to prov for my tests, he has a sidejob with keith, fuck my health, keith needs his help. OMG I want Keith to just croak. Friday night, tom showed up and sleptover, We hadsex twice, I need to let go of Craig, he's killing me. I got a overnight babysitting job with Janie's friend, Tifany, love her, she's a really cool woman. I need strength now, but its low. Tom helped me alto last night just being someone else there to hold & talk too. We should be together. but we both got to let go of our past loves. His ex Laura has had caused more problems for him he needed, Craig causes me to much emotional damage. G2G

Weekly news...I am alright...just lonely

I had an alright night with Nick. He bought me the movie SAW as a surprise and we watched it at his house. Then we ccame back to Newport and drove Burma Road, I rolled a Phillie and smoked it. (BAD ROLL but smoked fine) Then went driving by Bobby's house, called a bunch of times(had friends call) Got through and decided after he said"im deciding whether to be your friend again" I said no time waiting I am through trying. I hung up, and just deleted him from my myspace the hardest thing I've ever done. I am not going to cry, I refuse too. I choose top let anger show, and not my sadness. I want her dead, I want to slash her throat. then stab her in her body parts that makes her attractive. I hate her. I want to throw up and cry. I choose to not cry, to be angry and sick but not cry or be sad. Its over. SHe won. He says the competition is over, but she has him, they are happy, and im dying, and miserable. They WOn. But not for long. He lied to me about her, the whole time, but tells her the truth bout seeing me??? I can live, I will live. Good Bye Bobby. shots tomorrow, and tests monday with Craig. He didn't answer his ringing cell when his sister said he wasnt home. She doesnt lie to me about him. I could care less. Nick felt something ws wrong after I hung up with Bobby. I said im fine and kept singing Shaggy, the cd we listened too 3 years ago together...funny. I miss Craig, and only want him still. I am stil feeling so sick, and negative. I feel so alone, like Craig doesn't want me, Bobby gave me up, and Nick is not important. I am trying to deal with it all, and being sick & broke man...I havent got back to school, stopped stalking Craig, and bobby now. I am alone in this world, can I make it? My friend Tom came by today when I was getting out the shower. He was like "DAMN" I said "yous houldnt walk in, what if I was my mom?" He said " I wouldve took off" But blasting country radio in the house is me home alone, or with a kid. I got dressed in front of him because my clothes were on a chair in the dining room not expecting anyone to pop up. He was happy to see me, and said"your body isgoing to be in my head all day" Well nice to know someone thinks bout me but Craig thinks bout me in that way too....GOOD LUCK TO ME & MY FUTURE

LATER

HEY! All housework's done today. I have school work to do. I was in so much pain yesturday after I left here. But the percocet are lifesavers, I just need money so I want to sell them, but for now, they take my pain. I watched RAW with Marky and passed out before the last two matches. IM OUT LATER> GOT TO GO NAP OR SCHOOL

Craig came last MOnday night, & I left Marky during wrestling at my house, he went home after wards I wasnt home yet. Tuesday I did laundry and chilled out. I had Marky Wednesday nite til Thursday, went shopping and hopping around it was fun. I saw Bobby in his whoer's car, he turned around and put the windows up but the car is a little obvious.(2 door black, square car with all black tinted windows.) Friday i went with Jordyn on her firld trip to thesen Kennedy ships at Battleship Cove in Mass. Matt has been calling now too. Jordyn's class loved me, I liked them all too. Justin told me at the deli the other dayu "don't you know no means no" I was like OUCH in my mind but ILOVECRAIG so it doesnt bother me, just cuz I smoke weed. I wen tout with my ex Nick from 3 years ago, it was cool, we watched Jeepers Creepers 1&2, drank a couple beers, smoked a blunt by myself(wrapped 2 on ly own, the 2nd one came out smokable) I bought Marky this fire poppers from the police parade, it turned out to be too dangerous for him, my last $5 to waste. Carnival got delayed til this Wednesday through Sunday, YEAH, and I slept with Craig last night, car at second beach, & the other thing, its ok, he went down on me too...DAMN! ILOVEHIM SOOO! And he may be taking me to the carnival, Bigger chance this week than last. I see him Thurs & Fri for Prov appointments anyway. I asked him bout sleeping over "we're building up to it" he said, I think I should be waiting to go down on him, but he's to tempting and he takes care of me, too. I stole Uncle Ray's percocet, and he flipped, blames Chris & Anne Marie anyway, I know Brandon wouldnt do it. They stole his hat and lottery tickets so, they can get blamed for that, the assholes. I cleaned the house today besides kitchen bought to take Janies sponge, got to go buy something from store but forgot. LATER grabbing JOrdyn off bus, todays' Monday, there was my week ...ILOVECRAIG