The Ultimate Vampire Resource and Directory

It is said to write the words down to put them out into the universe is cathartic to release all the pent-up emotions. It is also said life never gives you anything you cannot handle. This i have come to question many times over how much does "life" really expect people to handle? This is something i have never done but here goes. I have been through hell and back and somehow survived. Most of was as a young child seeing things a child should never ever see. Feeling fear instead of love and safety. In a home where the words i love you were never spoken and in it's place were words to break me down. No child should ever feel pure hatred for anyone let alone those who are supposed to protect them. Yeah "supposed to" something they never did. With every raised voice making me wish i could run away forever. The day finally came when i left hearing them tell me or more him i can't leave. The hell i can just try and stop me were the last words i ever spoke. Years go by with no communication just how i wanted it. Then comes the call HE calls me telling me he now sees what he did was wrong, he feels bad, and is sorry asking for forgiveness. WHAT??? Are you fucking kidding me was he really expecting me to roll over so easily and forgive EVERYTHING the man who for years put me through hell the so called "man" who thought he was going to replace my dad. Not a chance in hell is what i told him and said to never ever contact me again he never did. More years go by and i am told he now has cancer the word KARMA screams in my head as i fully believe what comes around goes around. I did not need revenge karma did it for me. I was also told it was very painful for him in the end GOOD was my only thought he deserved it. Judge me if you want but i felt nothing no sadness absolute nothing. I have questioned many times how i did not turn out like them or more like him. Some children do and that is heartbreaking. How did i escape this? What was different about me? I will never know i have been told it shaped me into who i am seeing who i never wanted to become. Maybe this is true but just maybe it does not matter why.