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8 entries this month
LIFE
11:19 Feb 24 2005
Times Read: 574
Such a twisted word.
What is it really?
It is Hell.
Its’ what you have to go through.
Obstacles that scar you.
Truth is a joke in life.
Love is not real,
Living is real.
Dying is something that happens
just like shit.
Life is a bitch, then you die
So fuck it all, cuz its’ a lie.
Life 111:12 Feb 24 2005
Times Read: 575
15 years old
LIFE is a river with many twists and turns.
From a distance it seems smooth and gentle,
up close it is a raging stream of terror
with many tributaries and paths along the way
one must choose to follow.
In a river there are many dams which create obstacles.
Life is walking across a river,
stumbling upon rocks that pierce and leave
permanent reminders of the choice.
You come across pieces of driftwood and
its’ your choice to hop on or let it
pass you by.
IF ONLY
11:05 Feb 24 2005
Times Read: 577
Caught in blur of emotions, needing to be loved.
Endless intimacy through the night, holding him so tight,
he makes you feel all right.
Passion getting stronger with each thrust.
Loosing control in the rush of energy
coming from your body and his.
Knowing you want to be his.
Wondering if he feels anything for you.
Time comes to its’ end.
Resting in his arms, feeling so safe.
Walking into the crisp night air,
saying farewell yet he says 10 hours.
Once again lost in emotions,
ANOTHER LIE!!!!
Sitting, wondering what I have done wrong.
I let my guard down, only to be stomped.
Your mind thinking he’ll be here soon,
but knowing in your heart he wont be.
FUCKED OVER AGAIN!!!
Wanting to be wanted, needing to be loved.
IM NOT A GAME TO BE PLAYED!!
But to my dismay,
I was just a game that was played by the guy.
My Pain
10:30 Feb 24 2005
Times Read: 580
The pain is too intense.
This sensation has no expense.
Without any limits, it turns and pivots,
tearing its way into the
SOUL.
With victims on end,
it leaves wounds that will not mend.
It survives on the feeding of a secret place,
that has no face.
Pain cannot see, it cannot hear.
Its’ presence is so strong,
we are afraid of it.
Pain cannot speak, it cannot smell.
No matter what you try,
it can’t be dispelled.
But pain has one thing in common from me to you.
PAIN CAN BE FELT
I KNOW IT IS REAL.
IF10:25 Feb 24 2005
Times Read: 581
2/9/1996
If I weren’t so confused
maybe I could think.
If I weren’t so down low
maybe I could smile.
If I weren’t so giving
maybe I could take.
If I weren’t so naive
maybe I could care.
If I weren’t so hurt
maybe I could love.
If I weren’t so ugly
maybe I could show.
If I weren’t so stupid
maybe I could see.
Every time I try to bring myself
up it’s impossible for me to believe
that no one really sees me for me
The Pain He Didn’t Share
10:20 Feb 24 2005
Times Read: 584
I didn’t know what was happening,
I didn’t know what he did.
How could he hurt me like that?
I was just a lonely girl.
After he had his pleasure,
I realized what he had done.
Why did I let it happen?
Why didn’t I run?
Why didn’t I listen to my mind?
Would I have even cared?
I still feel pain from this incident.
The pain he didn’t share.
He must have not felt anything of it,
not one bit of guilt did he feel.
He could care less if he hurt me,
to him it was no big deal.
Maybe he’ll get his punishment
that he deserves one day.
It would be nice to have Justice,
but my pain will NEVER go away.
Inside thoughts of a conscience
10:16 Feb 24 2005
Times Read: 586
You take me to Heaven and back as I spread my wings for you…
Your body shadows mine perfectly, as fusion of energies, until I
cry out in pure rapture. You’ve whispered in my dreams, and now that you’ve come to me,
I’ll submit to your desires because they are my own. In breathless ecstasy ,I accept your gift. The heat of your mouth, the cool of your hands caress.
You take me to Heaven and back as I spread my wings for you.
Unbearable was the wait,
the suspense. I accept your gift, the heat of
your mouth, the cool of your hands caress.
You take me to Heaven and back as I spread my wings for you.
Unbearable was the wait, the suspense.
Your body shadows mine perfectly, a fusion of energies,
until I cry out in pure rapture.
I’ll follow you anywhere. Your touch
takes me further and further beyond the realm.
Finally, I whisper. "YES".
" This is my dream, the fantasy that brought you to me".
Never again will I be able to tell day from night. Night from day.
Finally10:11 Feb 24 2005
Times Read: 589
Dedicated to my love Eric...
Nov. 24 2004
FINALLY
Love can hurt
Love can make you cry
Yet the smile of a loved one
Can dry your eyes
The smile on your face
Makes my pain erase
Makes me feel strong
I knew for so long
There for me when I need you
Knowing I have found a love so real
This is way more than sex appeal
Sometimes the sparkle in my eyes disappear
Because of a very great fear
That I may say something wrong
The right words I may not say
So much I am afraid I’ll loose you
I lost you once and twice before
I can’t go again through that door
Especially how much for you I adore
So afraid of the past is my
HEART, MIND, BODY and SOUL
I had to learn to let go
You let me see and believe
because love found me.
A love I will not let go.
To finally find true love, with you again.
I am truly…….
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