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The blood drips down through these tears

As I shed my pain and my greatest fears

You are always here with me

I feel your presence but can't see

I speak to you, but can you hear

Have you lived just to disappear

From the world and universe

Can't move time into reverse

I miss you more than anything

I'm depressed to see these memories

Can't get away, I look, you're there

Again I'm left within despair

Cutting, cutting

My arms, my legs, my stomach

Anywhere, just take away the pain

Can't stand no more

Let me out of this world

Just let the past drain

But there's always more pain

Just one more cut, I beg

Just one more cut to stay

As a reminder not to trust

As a reminder of the lust

For the one who has helped me

He can never ever see

This feeling that is so strong

For he is already claimed

So for now just leave my life drain



this was originally written by me on Aug. 26, 2005 but since the thoughts of cutting have found their way back into my mind, i caught myself reading over it again so i put it in here.

Someone please save me

For slowly I shall die

Consumed by my thoughts

Looking to cry or someplace to hide

To run away from my problems

Hide them away in the back of my mind

Put them under lock and key

Then they won't bother me until the night

Tears completely fill my body

My heart has slowly drowned

I have seen nothing but black for quite some time

But then I realized that I have already died

So now I admit I gave up

And I offically say goodbye

A single lonely girl sits and cries

She cradles her head in her hands and tries

Thinking of all the people who are there for her

All of the people who don't understand her despair

How could they ever understand

They weren't there when she couldn't stand

They don't know the first thing about her

As the crowd watch her, holding her within their stare

They don't know of the pain held within her eyes

The pain that she tries anything to hide

She forces herself to believe she is free enough to fly

Knowing deep inside she's so afriad, she can only reply

To the thoughts by cutting up herself

As people run terrified screaming "save yourself"

How could they ever understand

They weren't there when she couldn't stand

They don't know the first thing about her

As the crowd watch her, holding her within their stare

She gives into the horrifying thoughts of self-mutalation

Because she found herself in an everlasting feeling of desperation

With the unreturned love she felt, she pierced the flesh deep next to her heart

And as her blood drained with her life, the love she felt turned sourly tart

How could they ever understand

They weren't there when she couldn't stand

They don't know the first thing about her

As the crowd watch her, holding her within their stare

Yet the crowd grew and stood in awe and admiration

For she did what they couldn't with the same feelings of damnation

But still...

Her last feelings with her blood spilled...

How could they ever understand

They weren't there when she couldn't stand

They don't know the first thing about her

As the crowd watch her, holding her within their stare

But they understood more then she thought...

make them go away

the voices in my head

they stay through the night and day

just please make them go away

and don't give me any more meds

i can't stand hearing them anymore

for they say he will be back nevermore

but they are wrong for i know he will

to make them stay away

i don't care anymore just give me the damn pills

i can't deal with these voices anymore

i can't deal with the things they say

they know my fears

they know their way around my head

i have no defenses to stop them

i have no way to control them

i leave them talk and think of things

guilty for the ones i think

for if only people knew i would be back in

no way out of this corner

for they have blocked me in

i can't move for fear i will fall

but in my head i think of answering their calls

i am sorry

i am sorry for everything

i am sorry i made you feel like a jerk

i am sorry i always bitch

i am sorry i keep things bottled up

i am sorry for leaving them explode

i am sorry i fell in love with you

i am sorry i think we could be something more

i am sorry i still believe in fairy tales

i am sorry for bothering you when you needed to sleep

i am sorry for all of this and more

just tell me to leave and i'll head out this door

so that way you don't have to put up with me anymore

i am sorry for everything this is to the one i adore