ElaSaeurDesAnges's Vampire Journal

ElaSaeurDesAnges's Journal

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3 entries this month

Jul 2020 →

Impulsive thought.
14:25 May 27 2020
Times Read: 530

& I wonder if all mine

Think it sucks having to stay away from me
In the end.

As I do.

If only it could be less complicated
But I guess I make it that way
To test the bond.

Perhaps it's just me.

But ofcourse I want to refuse to think that.

They are true. Aren't they?

The rest is but lessons but perhaps I

Am the one not letting go completely.
In times of need I wish they were around and I lack them
Selfish. Then again they are free

I bow in my mistakes and see my flaws but is it enough
When only half of me want to change.

I like the game. The control. The love
For I am that sick in my mind however
My intentions is pure and I stop while the game is good
Another me realise all this and therefore know it's not right
But is that enough?

I am my own worst enemy.

I embrace the fact I am dark
I know I am light
I am alone by my own doing
I want them to come when I call
After an episode and I would totally
Do the same

But it's not healthy

Healthy for me, while knowing all my flaws and not being
Able to control them completely , is knowing I need help and
First thing to self help would be letting only people into my life
With knowledge of this and capabilities to handle it.
So I stay alone . Push people away.

Who could handle this lunatic?
I'm not even taking relationship I'm not
Looking for love.

I have few really good friends in my life
And even them I pushed away before.

Only they passed.

COMMENTS

20:34 May 26 2020
Times Read: 547

I lost all value at last.

I guess what we had was not true.

If only I could turn back time

I still dream of you.

COMMENTS

20:05 May 26 2020
Times Read: 557

What I require I can provide.

Read that again..

COMMENTS

Jul 2020 →

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