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ElaSaeurDesAnges's Journal


ElaSaeurDesAnges's Journal

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2 entries this month
 

Dimitri.

17:39 Sep 21 2025
Times Read: 147


The truth is i will never get over him, i will never get over what happend, how he treated me, and how i treated him, i only know that nothing is the same, neither am i. i was discarded, like i was nothing, gaslighted, into thinking i was the only one at fault, and i took it.. i truly believed him, promised i would change, and in places i was the one at fault. i was unstrusting, i was traumatised.. i spend enough hours with my therapist being brutally honnest to know, i was with a narcissist. Just like the ones before him.. it still hurts, sometimes i take myself gazing into the nothingness, lost in memories, as if it was just yesterday, the pain feels the same. but i am not.
I refuse to give myself away now, theres just something about people like me, people with borderline, people once empaths turned dark.. only attracting narcissists, and only getting attracted to them as well, its like normal people is just, too peacefull, too healthy, i have friends now, i have my guys, tommi and rachid, my pack.. and for now. thats enough..

COMMENTS

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Cadrewolf2
Cadrewolf2
19:54 Sep 21 2025

Healing takes time, memories make you stronger and better





 

Tommi

00:29 Sep 01 2025
Times Read: 216


Life has a strange way of surprising me.
I didnt expect to feel this kind of bond with someone new.

There’s one person who has quietly taken a very special place in my life.
We speak constantly, day and night, like we can’t stand the thought of being out of touch. He carries me with him everywhere, even through work, making sure I’m part of his day. With him, I never feel like an afterthought, I feel like a priority.

I know he fears losing me, Though he wont.
He reaches out again and again, terrified at the thought of not having me close. He does whatever it takes to remind me that I matter, that he won’t let me slip away. And when his emotions surface, when his voice shakes and his eyes soften, I see how real this truly is.

He is playful, direct, and intense, yet caring and accepting in ways I didn’t even realize I had been longing for. There’s comfort in how genuine he is with me, and a passion between us that lingers in the air, undeniable, yet still wrapped in friendship.

I can’t help but notice the difference. For the first time, I feel seen. Valued. Wanted in a way that feels like forever, not just a moment. He doesn’t treat me like I’m replaceable, he treats me like I’m irreplaceable, like he needs me.

It’s rare to find something like this, and even rarer to realize it could be the start of something lasting. And maybe, just maybe, forever doesn’t feel so far away anymore.

And just as he stands by me, I stand by him. I help him through his own storms, remind him he’s not alone, and give him the same care he gives me,

COMMENTS

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Cadrewolf2
Cadrewolf2
03:10 Sep 01 2025

Glad your almost whole








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