The Ultimate Vampire Resource and Directory

1. COVER YOUR STUMP BEFORE U HUMP



2. BEFORE YOU ATTACK HER, WRAP YOUR WHACKER



3. DON'T BE SILLY, PROTECT YOUR WILLY



4. WHEN IN DOUBT, SHROUD YOUR SPOUT



5. DON'T BE A LONER, COVER YOUR BONER



6. YOU CAN'T GO WRONG IF YOU SHIELD YOUR

DONG



7. IF YOU'RE NOT GOIN TO SACK IT, GO HOME

AND WHACK IT



8. IF YOU THINK SHE'S SPUNKY, COVER YOUR

MONKEY



9. IF YOU SLIP BETWEEN HER THIGHS, BE SURE TO CONDOMIZE



10. IT WILL BE SWEETER IF YOU WRAP YOUR

PETER



11. SHE WON'T GET SICK IF YOU WRAP YOUR DICK



12. IF YOU GO IN HEAT, PACKAGE YOUR MEAT



13. WHILE YOU'RE UNDRESSING VENUS, DRESS UP YOUR PENIS



14. WHEN YOU TAKE OFF HER PANTS AND BLOUSE, ZIP UP YOUR TROUSER MOUSE



15. ESPECIALLY IN DECEMBER, GIFT WRAP YOUR

MEMBER



16. NEVER, NEVER DECK HER WITH AN UNWRAPPED PECKER



17. DON'T BE A FOOL, VULCANIZE YOUR TOOL



18. THE RIGHT SELECTION WILL PROTECT YOUR

ERECTION



19. WRAP IT IN FOIL BEFORE CHECKING HER OIL



20. A CRANK WITH ARMOR WILL NEVER HARM HER



21. NO GLOVE, NO LOVE!



22. IF YOU'RE GONNA HAVE IT OFF, HAVE IT ON