The Ultimate Vampire Resource and Directory

Sometimes i think, what would life on earth be like if the human race had not been made. Sometimes i think what would the universe if earth had not been created. Then i think what would it be like if there was nothing.

What's the difference between a Chav girl and the Grand Old Duke of York?

The Grand Duke of York only had ten thosuand men.



The Goverment have approached the Chav's to ask them if they would like ( on joining a single currencey with europe) to have the currency of the country renamed.

The Chav's have replied that they prefer to keep it as the Giro.



What do you say to a chav at the peak of their career?

"Big Mac and fries please"



What did the little chav say to the big chav?

"Can you get served?"



At the end of a tiny deserted bar is a huge Chav male, 6ft 5in tall and 350lbs. He's having a few beers when a short, well dressed and obviously gay man walks in and sits beside him. After 3 or 4 beers, the gay fella finally plucks up the courage to say something to the big Chavster. Leaning over, he cups his huge ear "Do you want a blow job?" he whispers. At this, the Chav leaps up with a fire in his eyes dn smacks the man in the face. Knocking him off the stool, he proceeds to beat him all the way out of the bar. Finally he leaves him badly brusied, in the car park and returns to his seat as if nothing happened. Amazed the bartender quickly brings over another beer."I've never seen you react like that" he says " Just what did he say to you?". " I'm not sure" the Chav replier." SOme thing about a job."



What do chavs use as protection during sex?

A bus shelter.



How does a chav girl turn the lights off after sex?

She closes the car door.



What's the difference between a battery and a chav?

A battery has a positive side.



Why couldn't the chav finish a race?

He was only good at startin!

Whats the similarity between a chav and a slinky?

There is lots of fun to be had watchin them fall down a steep set of stairs.



If you see a Chav on a bike, why should you try not to hit him?

It might be your bike.



What's the difference between a Chav and a coconut?

One's thick and hairy , the other's a coconut.



What' the first question at a Chav quiz night?

"What you lookin at?"



How do you get 100 Chavs into a phone box?

Paint three stripes on it.

What do u say to a chav with a job?

Big Mac Please!



What do u call a chav in a suit?

The accused!



What do u call a chav with 9 GCSE's?

A liar



Where do you take your chavette girlfriend for a nice night out?

Up the Gray



T wo chavs are in a car, and no music playing. Who's driving.

The police



Two chavs jump off a cliff. Who wins?

Society



What do you call a chav tart in a white tracksuit?

The bride

If you belive in God,Allah,Jesus,VIshnuy,Ghandi(Some kid's at my school praise ghandi but there just *#@!). It is all lies. There is only one god and that is the one and only Mick foley. He could probably kick the crap out of God if he was real.

I hate townies, they think they are the best but there not, they have to be in gangs to be able to fight. They listen to fake music like 50-cent and don't listen to good music like evanesence. I think all Goths and Skaters should join and make an alliance to rid the world of the townie plaque.

P.S. dean, if your reading this please don't tell ashley or he will kill me.