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People hate me for the way I don't act an for the way I do. To others the way I do something is completely wrong. I can't speak my mind. It feels like the only relief I get is when I'm by my self.

I have this huge wooden Rosary. The neck part is about 20 or so inches and the cross on it is like 4-5 inches, my dad had gotten it from german for me. It's always hanging above my bed, unless I take it over to Ashley's or Kristen's house because they ghost and they don't like me. It was there two days ago when I went to bed and when I woke up I went to saturday school then shopping with my parents. When i got back I noticed that it wasn't hanging up. I'm think to my self don't worry the propaby came lose and it fell behind the bed. So, I looked all around my bed, nothing. So, I looked on my dressers and my desk, again nothing. By then I began to panic. So, I started to call Ashley and Kristen and asking them if I had left it at their houses, no it wasn't there. At that time, I had been ripping my room apart trying to find it. Just then I noticed that the lid on my purple clay box I had made in the 9th grade was slightly ajar. It's not avery big box only 6"x6"x 6". I lift the lid and there it was. My wooden rosary. I haven't tounched that clay box since last month went I did a complete clean sweep of my room. So, how did it get there?

High speed internet is amazing I havn't had it in to long.

I don't like it when people look through my things with out asking, I mean really who does? Well, that just seemed to be everyones favorite past time today.

-shakes fist-

Then my mother and anybody that would listen to her had to talk about how inperfect I am and how my older sister is so much better. I swear my mother has nothing positive ot say when it comes to me.

But it's ok. I just can't let it get to me and let them know how much it hurts me.

I get my phone taken because I forgot to turn it off, so what do all my friends do. Texted me. --* Last Saturday they said that we were going to have like gathering to play Video games. The n they changed it to Friday, I have to work and I don't get off until 9:45 which isn't bad mind you. I waitress, so I'm tired and I just want to go to bed. They texted me asking me where the hell I'm at. They didn't tell me that they had moved it and they're getting mad at me because I'm not there. My mom does let me go anywhere after 10. They all know that! And yet they continuesly push until I can't do anything. It's almost like they don't want me to be with them so they make thing so hard to join in. Maybe that just the case. They talk about me behind my back when they think I'm not listening. I'm an idoit, I'm a preppy bitch, I don't belong with them, and I'm the nerd that follows them around because they're so popular. So fucking sorry if I like being happy instead of sad. So sorry I like to put my opinion in. Maybe they don't want my friendship anymore.

Yesh, after going to people for help and trying to figure out what they hell they were talking about I finally I got a new display up ^^. I feel very happy.

Modeling agencies are starting to hit me up on myspace! RAWR!!!! Leave me alone!!!

So, I found out today that this exchange student that I confessed my L O V E for might be coming back. Great right? I'm not so sure. I mean I'm still in love with this man but I don't know if he feels the same because he won't talk to me anymore. So, really that's telling me that he doesn't, and if he comes back and we have a class together then it's going to be extremely awkward. Personally, I don't like those situations. -le sigh-