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HiddenTruth's Journal



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2 entries this month

 

An Evening

02:26 Oct 15 2007
Times Read: 569


Car stops as mother and daughter exited it and crossed the road. A dim afternoon- as hunger ripped away the daughter’s stomach. She hadn’t eaten anything for lunch since she was trying with every second of her lunch period of complete her geography project that was due in a couple of hours. She was the only one in her group who seemed to care- everyone had left her with the failing object that was supposed to be their winning project to march practice. She had no choice, she wasn’t about to let her marks drop because of laid back classmates so she gave up lunch for her speech on the project and at least try to decorate the stupid thing.

So here she was now- standing at the end of the road, bag on back and another excess bag on her hand. Waiting to cross the road, she spotted a food hut and so did the mother.

Mother- look, look

Daughter- *sighs* come on let’s go- I need food right now.



They walked over to the hut and placed all their bags on a nearby chair. Doing this the daughter realized something. Her mother had her don’t care attitude again and the just want to go home because I have work to do face. She looked as if she was about to die and didn’t really care. She always put on that face on the evenings, and the daughter didn’t know what to do- what is that she hated every time she saw her daughter? Her face always seems to grow relieved yet for the rest of the evening you’d see it sink a couple of shades darker. Was she imaging this? Or just didn’t care? Sometimes the mother didn’t really care once everything was normal. She’d just pull a face and leave it as is.

Or did she really want to die? That last one the daughter wished could just vanish from her thoughts but sill it became constant- there was always this feeling that was still present; sill nagging her somewhere. Did she really not care that much? She didn’t even know if she really wanted an answer to that last question……

At first, her daughter just wished it was like every time her sister, form Boston calls and that would usually brighten the mother’s entire day; as is she’s discovered God but lately that hasn’t even been happening- all she heard now over the phone was complaining. The daughter was saddened by her mother’s state but soon began being annoyed by it then the hatred grew, blossoming from her face. So now the daughter didn’t care, she didn’t even want to know how her mother was feeling because, of course, she’d just give the same ‘Just hurry up, I have to home, and finish my work’ with a face that was either dead already or planning to soon.



Mother (to counter guy) - what do you have?

Counter guy- It’s all here *points to a short menu*



The daughter could smell the distaste and grunt in her mother when she saw the menu only really consisted of chicken and fries, but the daughter was too hungry to let her mother’s ‘compassion’ affect her.



Mother- ok, so you want chicken and fries….it’s 20.

Daughter- oh! I don’t have any money- do you?



The daughter has user her last few dollars on her ‘house fees’ for the same marching for her Sports Day. The captain of the house was like a thief- just she wasn’t taking the money but was at your back until your finally deprived of it- so she gave what she had which was only 7 dollars.



Mother- *her eyes of steel flashed- cold hard* what? You don’t have any? *stups*

Daughter-No I don’t…

Mother- *sighs* yea, you don’t



The daughter thinks she was just imaging but her mother was being sarcastic right?



Counter Guy- Do u want anything or…

Mother- * ‘don’t give a fuck and don’t u see my bloody eyes?!’ look* ok- gimme the 20 dollars chicken and fries.



The daughter smiled silently as they waited for a while. Two minutes passed and the mother say the fries were just put into the oven to cook which again, the daughter felt her rage.



Mother- how long do we have to wait?!

Counter Guy- *a little startled* um, ma’am just about 3 minutes

Mother *to daughter shoving the money into her hands* here, I gone



The daughter enraging by the moment silently took the money and waited for the food secretly watching the Counter Guy as she waited. She watched his actions, appearance, skills and, of course, manner of talk and personality and was able to gather this-

• He was in his thirties

• Probably the manager of the small hut

• Handles and loves kids well

• Kind hearted

• Generous and good spirited

Which all let to the conclusion- what was he doing working here?



No, she wasn’t going to just ask him out of the blue- maybe some other time. She was too hungry to talk- quickly she took the food dressed it and left.



***



When she arrived home, she could hear her mother upstairs. And all for a sudden, the anger and hatred washed over her again.



Mother- you come back?

Daughter- gosh! *plops down on nearest chair* I’m so tired and …wait! Oh shocks! I forgot to pay him!

Mother- who? That man?

Daughter- Ohh man! Ok I’m going again

Mother- huh? You mad? Get back here! That my money!! Why don’t you just buy another one?! Keep it! Give me it!



Suddenly out of nowhere, as the daughter got up to leave, her mother launched at her, pulling the daughter back inside; digging into and scraping her bear skin. Pulling hard at her arms but the daughter won’t give in. What was happening? Who is this woman? This wasn’t her mother! She wasn’t even acting human. The daughter pulled and pulled resisting the pain on her now deeply scarred hand. As pain crossing over her eyes, she fell back when her mother finally slipped, letting go and sending her onto the steps where almost falling over. Oh my…, she thought as she slowly left. She couldn’t bear to look at her mother but she heard her mumble a slight ‘come back here!’



In a daze she walked back to the hut. She didn’t even realize that she was passing it until she saw the crowd of people there. Shoving her way to the front, she gave the Counter Guy the 20 and apologies. He simply smiled and replied a no problem and a thank you. That filled her with so much warmth and satisfaction she didn’t even believe it. How could a simple gesture cure all her pain? But it only lasted for a couple of seconds as she was on her way home again. Home. No, she wasn’t going there, not now. She gently lifted her throbbing hand and examined the bruises. Man! It looked as if someone was trying to cut her with a dull knife and was slightly succeeding. No- she couldn’t go back. No…instinctively she looked up and she realized that she was standing in front of her house. Right there- she could practically replay the events of the past minutes, just not with much strength. She was exhausted and before her mother cold see her, she lightly turned and walked in the opposite direction. Away, far away. Dazed and clouded, her head hammered and her pulse was hitting some high numbers but she won’t give up; no, not now. Tiny salty tears began warming its way down her cheeks as she began running, running form her mother, running form the hut, running from her pain, her problems, her life. She was suffocating and barely able to breathe when she realized that she’d ran straight into a dead end- a savannah. The wind was blowing gently and she was soaked in her sweat that seeped through her uniform. Bitterly she laughed to herself- is this what happens? Is this what her life has come it? Is this how she was to life? Was this REAL?

Screams, that was the only answer that came to her mouth, screams and bitter tears. Slowly she felt the blood pushing against her head as she felt her body collapse onto her knees. Crouching on the ground she screamed and bawled and crying her life away. Her breath was heavy and she felt her heart wanting to give up on her. She rocked back again and gave one final scream- with all her strength and very last breath, she made herself numb. That was the last thing she remembered before blacking out.


COMMENTS

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My LIFE

11:43 Oct 05 2007
Times Read: 580


"What the hell's your problem?" he echoed, ''What the FUCK is ur problem?!" Ouch. that stung- as if he's slapped me. then again- he'd never touch me. I was suddenly becoming breathless again; and it wan't beacuse of the heat of the room- i could feel his rage. "God dammit Nina, u make it so hard for me to love u sometimes," he whispered and that did it. i could feel something in me burst. His whisper held so much more than words...so much pain and anger. What WAS wrong with me?

"You're just a cold, selfish, bitter bitch- u know...and you're letting me know that everytime now,'' he left the room, but this words were still taunting me- pressing against my every breath. A cold, bitter bitch... ha- this was now becomming my theme. why'd he turn on me? Didn't he not believe anymore? I thought we were close...i thought we fought against love. Now he claims he knows it? he's in it? Fuck...i could feel the tears warming it's way on my skin and his whispering form the other room. the air was soffocating me now- and i felt like i was drowning in it. I had to get out, i had to leave. This was too screwed up...


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