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So, I am gutting the house. Or that is what I am telling myself.

Maybe I am really overhauling myself.

Of course I am. But then don't we all.

To change is to grow. To move is to evolve.

To do nothing is to grow stagnant, to whither and fade.

Been there - done that.

Not ready to do that again.

I once, not that many years ago had given myself over to the idea of fading away.

I felt myself unworthy and so was treated as such.

I have reclaimed my soul.

I will not back down.

I will not retreat, or surrender myself again.

I am here and I will be recognized and respected.

Or I will strike.

COMMENTS

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OniKumo
09:34 Feb 18 2008

Good for you. You should always be as such. And never let anyone else tell you otherwise.

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POST COMMENT

Well it is done. My friends' mother died, I had taken care of his parents while he was out of the country. That was this last spring. This weekend she died, suddenly. Without pain, trama, but quite unexpected.

So today was the funeral.

I hate it when the pastor talks more about himself and is consumed with self instead of embracing others feelings of loss and sorrow.

I wished them peace. I held them, embraced their pain and asked them to let me know if I could assist.

It is all one can do, to be there.

To offer a hug, a voice of calm.

What they do not know they fear.

Another soul crosses over. Another family - their "faith" tossed about like leaves on the wind. The wind blows turbulant, fierce and unashamed of who and what it is and does.

I seek to be that wind, to go and do and be as I would - with no thought of time, space or care.

To cut as I may or mite. To carress as I dare.