Living in a narcissistic family structure when you are the black sheep they will all gang up on you. Quantity doesn’t always equate to truthfulness. It just equals more control and power. You learn just because a group of people say something doesn’t always make it true. They count on turning the tides with ruining your reputation. They enjoy mixing truth with lie. I don’t feel bad lying to the abusers in my life. It has saved my life quite a few times. I understand that it was me trying to survive. I lied to his face yesterday to avoid interrogation and him draining my energy. I instinctively felt the attack coming. I know trust is the corner stone of relationships but whatever this is was it was never a relationship it stopped being that ages ago. Trust stopped having meaning when he broke it so often so many times. My peace, safety and happiness are my main goals. If lying to him does that I think the price is worth those things.
I wish I could say it’s been nice but I’m not going to lie. I’m still hurt, sad, disappointed.
The more I’m away the better I feel. This is no longer a place that feels safe to empty my head and heart when things begin to spill out.
I don’t care so much anymore about “who wins” by staying. Are there good people here? Yes. Apparently according to others I’m this terrible person. I used to care what others think now it not just that important to me.
Can’t please everyone and not everyone is going to like you. People talk shit and you just have to starve them out. It’s sad that certain people have no concept of the word no and that it took this long to somewhat stink in.
They feel entitled and have a level of audacity because they can hide behind a screen.
I’m sure some day if this place continues to exist or maybe some place else you’ll finally learn your lesson that you shouldn’t think you’re impervious to responsibility and accountability even on the internet. This is not the healthiest part of me but as of right now I don’t feel like I will ever forgive you for all the things you’ve said and done to me. I wished things weren’t the way they were.
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The narcissists will manipulate others and do what they can to ruin reputations. I've been developing my senses to perceive them or my fellow empaths that start using their manipulation tactics rather than just avoiding them in maturity. This site's like a minefield but like you say there's some good people here that make it worth it especially among the kindred community as well as future prospects. I hate those that hide behind anonymity too. But they're not breaking any rules being here. Just an obstacle to overcome.
Getting away from a narcissist isn’t as easy as you might think for some. They either discard you, that’s if you’re lucky, or hold you captive to suck the life out of you. I don’t want to have to be like them just to survive it but I will do what needs to be done to protect myself from them. You know predators better than anyone and we aren’t talking about the ones whom have a grounded moral compass guiding them. We are talking about the ones who have no morality or empathy that is only do what they do for the adrenaline rush it gives them because they are completely devoid of emotional understanding that grounds most human beings.
a lot of my family is like this.
Very toxic and if they don't get a relationship, you can't have one either
I’m sorry you’re going through that. It’s an extremely difficult situation to be in.
It’s so emotionally draining.
@IICrimsonII. I understand we are all different and unique and don't have common ground to relate on some things weather it's from genetics and/or experience. I still deal with wounds caused by my family as our youth is the foundation to our personality. Mine dealt a lot with PTSD from war and the brainwashing techniques my Government used. Some wounds like a scratch heal and leave no mark other deeper lacerations heal but leave a scar for life then others are so deep they debilitate you for life like getting something amputated. Yeah you can carry on with life with what you survive with but your life is never whole like others.
So things are still moving forward with my weight loss. I took at break with my weightlifting when my dog passed as I wasn’t really fit to be around others. I went back last week and will slowly reintroduce things back in. The gym moved things around and added new machines so I’m going to have to come up with a whole new routine for machine order. I have been canning things from my garden. All the boring things I find relaxing. I started watching the series Hannibal the beginning of this week as well.
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