The Ultimate Vampire Resource and Directory

Discretion has become something of a close friend these days.
Like what’s my name? Where do I live?
There are only certain things I choose or feel comfortable to disclose
You will sadly never know those very personal things about me no matter how much I care for you
I don’t trust anyone online after the things I have dealt with online the past 8 years.
I don’t talk about a future because there will be none apart from here. There will be no meeting in person some day.
It’s sad because I didn’t think after all this time I would find everything I ever wanted I don’t see anything changing my mind but there is that tiny spark of hope that maybe I can trust you but I’m not completely convinced
I know there is a darkness that rolls and boils beneath the surface the tension is palpable in your presence your words are like honey, sweet and tempting
But if I know anything about my own nature that is not all that resides within
So I wait …wait for something to break inside
something that brings that darkness boiling to the surface again
Do I fear it? After him I’m not sure that there is much that scares me. Danger doesn’t feel the same even with everything in my past that happened to me.
It’s weird the love that even lifelong enemies have for each other
Hate and violence that consumes them it’s like an ant on the sidewalk but I feel sorry for it and throw small scraps of food to it because even parasite's need to eat too
Covert, veiled threats I see it all not because I care that much it’s more like reading one of those gossip magazines you see in the cashiers aisle at the grocery store that you read snickering at the outlandish headline as you walk on by
It’s quickly forgettable in the scheme of things and life goes on as it always has until the next time curiosity gets the best of me and I need a good laugh that last time that happened well I can’t remember that last time that was
Time is spent doing better things in my opinion improving my life, my health. Being kind to others encouraging others and uplift others I’m still trying to figure out how to do that to people I ‘d rather throat punch the unlovable are hard to love
The loveable are easy to love
A work in progress healing is not all at once
I won’t have to face their retaliation because life takes me in another direction these days
They fade into the background like the buzzing of a bug trying to enter through a window
It doesn’t matter and slowly it’s power is fading out of sight as others worth my time come into focus

It was just one word. A word spoken like a promise. It felt sacred in a way it never had before. It grabbed my attention more than anything else that had been said.
It didn’t expect anything in return. It just was. Like I had had it for a whole life time. Like time and space had never been lost to us. It had but it was as if no time had expired. Like two best friends that remembered just where they had left off centuries ago. It felt like remembering. It felt like finally being home at last.