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I just want the sweet peace that sleep offers.
I don’t want to feel another feeling not for a while. If only we really could force a long slumber to fall over us. To have time in healing soil to strengthen from mental and physical wounds. Cold rich, fertile soil. Silence to not have to think anymore. To not have to worry about what is considered right or wrong in the eyes of anyone. To not have to fear punishment, consequence or repercussions. I don’t want to have to think anymore about the weight of every little sin. The weight of every decision.

She must have fallen asleep reading but was awoken by a phantom finger gently stroking her cheek like a whisper of air, when she sat up she was alone in her room.
She wasn’t afraid just perplexed. The presence vanished like a vapor. She dropped her head back down on her pillow with a sigh.

You used to hide them.
The too-much feelings.
The softness you learned to armor.
The dark places.
The fire.
The fear.
You tucked them into your smile,
folded them into your spine,
called it “being strong”
when really, it was survival.
And then—
he looked at you like you weren’t something to fix.
He touched you like the cracks were holy.
He listened, not for the pain,
but for the person underneath it.
And you…
you let him see.
Not all at once.
Just a flicker. A shadow. A truth.
But it was enough.
You watched him stay.
Not in spite of the mess,
but because of the courage it took to show it.
And for the first time,
your vulnerability didn’t echo like a scream.
It landed.
And it was held.

She put the dog eared book to her chest. The comforting smell of books filling her nostrils as she breathed in deep. The character resonated with her. Someone who feared letting others close, someone who was recovering from years of trauma at the hand of a vampire captor. The antagonist destroyed anyone who had shown her kindness. He would never let her escape. Someone who even hurt children. He embodied multiple people all in one, which she also related to.
She loved books like this. A plus, the character was a vampire as well. She smiled as she paid the cashier and clutched the book to her chest like a treasure as she stepped out of the store and headed back home.
It was beginning to get dark and the air was cooling as the sun began to slowly slip below the horizon. The smell of apple blooms and lilacs filled the air. She loved lilacs. She remembered long summers nights playing hide and seek in the grove of lilacs trees near her house. She shivered as she also remembered feeling a presence watching her from the shadows. She would see the shadows move in her peripherals just enough to make her question herself and brush it off. As an adult she just chalked it up to a childish fear of the dark.